so i am going on vacation in about a week..at which time i was planning on continuing my fast but forget that...so im pretty bummed about that...but NEWAYS while im visiting my relatives i kno i am going 2 run in 2 some confrontation while i am there.. i need 2 kno how i should go about keeping the all raw thing kool with them, its going 2 be even harder bc i plan on mono eating..for the most part...and i am not really a hungry gal so that is going 2 make them suspicious of me being anorexic or something..[uggh]
to explain them in a few words:
impatient, rigid, and controlling

ill also be depending on them 100% to take me 2 purchase my food..this is really bothering me so any advice would be helpful...and maybe some links 2 the scientific proof behind raw would help ;]

fuzzy, See if you can get your father, who has been the most supportive of your parents, to run interference for you. Ask him if he can speak to your relatives beforehand about your special diet for health reasons. No amount of evidence is going to convince people that are not open to other possibilities. Good luck!

Have the see you eat plenty of fresh raw foods..so if mono eat bananas, eat enough to get those calories needed for that mealtime. Drink plenty of pure water, and maybe make a fruit pie for them while you stick with your mono meals. Or make another raw recipe, like avo dip and crunchy veggie sticks.

Love,
Prism

why mono eat? why not indulge in everything you love to send the message that you are not rigid and don`t have to stick to any one thing. you only have to say that eating fresh live foods make you feel exhuberant and healthy. the more you justify the more you look like there`s something to justify and you don`t. you are doing what you feel is the best thing for your body and your health. what`s wrong with that?
patty

I agree with Patty...and I would avoid using words like "raw" or "vegan". For many, those words are red flags of "weirdness" to them because they lack understanding. For me, personally, I say as little as possible, explanatory wise, and just say I'm preferring to eat a lot of fruits and vegetables. In the summer, I think it is easier to get away with this "style" of eating, since they are in season and plentiful. Fruits for breakfast, lunch, big lucious green salads...who can say that is weird? Now if you sit down and eat 12 bananas or a whole watermelon at every meal, that might cause the folks to worry a bit, even though to us raw fooders, that would be perfectly normal.And I also agree that you should make them some raw food recipes that they're bound to love...and leave the mono eating for when you're back home. Good luck.

Right. I agree. Don't make it an issue at all. Make sure to enforce BOUNDARIES - especially with family, friends and loved ones.....who naturally often want to simply ignore those boundaries......or there may be a history of 'co-dependency'.

-In any event: You are under no obligation to discuss your diet (which is a VERY personal issue) any more than discussing your sex life.....deep religious feelings, etc. These discussions should be supportive, private, and one-on-one. NEVER public, derogatory, critical and cross-examining. If YOU allow that sort of discussion, then that is a different issue.

-You are NOT under obligation.....even while a guest.......to eat their foods or explain yourself. WALK or take the bus to the nearest market if they will not take you or supply you with the fresh fruits & vegetables that you want. Get a part-time job if some one else will not pay for it. Always take personal responsibility for your own raw-food PREPAREDNESS. Don't expect restaurants, family, or people doing the wrong thing to ever understand and support YOU. It is up to you to support THEM. Don't you think? THEY are the ones that need the example. You already got the memo! Ha! ha!

-David Z. Mason

WWW.RawFoodFarm.com

I agree David in principle. On the other hand you don't want to be diplomatic too. They are your relatives that you love. If they cook for you and you refuse they might be hurt. I was in the same spot as you are when I went to my mother in law, a sweet little lady of 70. Definitely she will not change her eating habits at this age. She wouldn't even understand such a thing as eating all raw. What I did was to first announce before going there that I'm not eating meat. I went there prepared with a lot of produce - I told her that I found this nice market and I just loved their produce (not true, it was just regular one). This way I assured that I had food for a while. Then I told her that I was sick for a while (which was true) and I'm trying to diet for a short while (this really worked - a diet of a few weeks seems ok to most people). I had absolutely no problem. I only had some problems with feeding my 9mo old daughter only fruit and vegetable juices but she didn't quite realize what I was doing. She offered some cake to me to feed the baby - I took the baby out to feed her and disposed of the cake. I felt sorry for her efforts but it was just a small piece so...I live with the guilt.

Hope it helps. Good luck and try to enjoy your vacation without being too annoyed with this issue. It can spoil your time off.
cricri

Hi Fuzzysox,

You got some good advice. I'm going to respond to the part about relatives and unsupportive friends. It's true what David said about boundaries, they aren't respected by people who feel entitled by genes or history to have a hand at running your life. When you aren't supported on this or any issue that is close to your heart, distance yourself emotionally. Don't defend yourself, this only makes your more vulnerable. (Even when defending yourself is effective, you're still giving yourself and them the message that their approval is crucial. The good news is, it isn't.) Return criticism with silence. You can smile, lift an eyebrow, or even frown if you don't feel comfortable ignoring them completely, but don't respond verbally to any assalt on your choice to be as healthy as you can be.

May keeping your peace bring you peace with your family,

Betty

I hear you Cricri. I just don't get anyone else involved in MY eating habits. I let them know I am there to see THEM. I support THIER dreams and wishes. If THEY try to make MY DIET...THEIR business.....they are in for a polite & loving...but aburpt shutdown! Ha! ha! It's just NOT a topic for discussion. You know?

-Of course....there is always extra fruit for them.......

-David Z. Mason

WWW.RawFoodFarm.com

personally id walk into ther house and declare MAN i FEEL LIKE A SALAD .. any lettuce in here??

dont make it a big deal and it wont be

forget about printing off proof or statements their probably not gonna bother with it anyways

ask if theres any fruit trees ripening around the area that can be picked cuz yer feeling like an apple or 2 or 20

...Jodi, the banana eating buddhist

Fuzzysox,
Anyone who does not go along with common ideas about food, or other aspects of life are likey to meet some curious questions, or criticisms. I think this topic has been covered a lot on the board, and the best response I have heard yet is to accept that you may not always get loving acceptance and approval. Expect to be misunderstood by at least a few people sometime.

It doesn't mean you have to stop or change your point of view. It is amazing however how other peoples issues connect to this. I had a friend who was always cross examining and asking questions. I simply thought he wanted information, so I gave the best answers I could give. Later he told me that I was pressuring him to change how he ate. Which seemed strange to me. It turned out that he had gone on some really strict diet suggested by his doctor to control cholestrol. Very low fat, and low calorie. He didn't like it at all. After 2 months his numbers didn't change. So, he went on medication to control it, and didn't bother with diet. Me rejecting cheese and cream was just an unpleasant reminder that he was on medication and didn't want to give up full fat cream on everything.

Jody the Jgunn says:

<<personally id walk into ther house and declare MAN i FEEL LIKE A SALAD .. any lettuce in here?? >>


HAHA yeah! tiptoeing is no fun

i say if they say things like "what? just fruit?"

or " huh? u can't just live on vegetables"

i say just walk into their fridgerator

dump all and any fruit or veggie items out


wash them under the sink

then seat yourself comfortably on TOP of their dining table

spread yourself around

be comfy

then start ripping through their produce

slurping down watermelon

sloshing through the grapes

using hands to wipe my mouth

make LOTS of noise

and if they ask any questions

i just ignore them and make even more noise

chomping down on my lettuce

and even singing a song

tiptoeing is no fun

its like holding your breath in a prison where u were incarcerated for being
"strange"

david mason

that is cool what u said .. quite interesting too
i never considered diet to be THAT private ( read your very interesting analogies)

but come to think of it
yeah,, diet is what we are composed of

and i guess we are personal stuff

yeah!

What is more personal than what you put in your body?

Everything is harder when your a kid. Fuzzy, it won't be long before you are an adult and you will be on an equal playing field with everyone.