I am committed to changing to a raw diet - I would like to eventually be 100% raw - but how do you do this when you go to family dinners alot and get invited to friends houses for dinner - do you show up with your own food and say no thanks to the meal they spent hours preparing for you? I also have 2 small kids and a hungry, meat eating hubby - he is very supportive, but still wants cooked foods for dinner every night. Please help!!

I wouldn't be above lying to people or embellishing the truth. It can be easier than defending every choice you make. I don't have to do this, but I would to protect myself. People might think you want to starve yourself, so they'll fight your decision. (Dave Mason has a higher approach to this)


Maybe you should start with eating raw at home and work up to bringing raw to family dinners when you're more confident and have fewer cravings. I did this and didn't have to defend myself much.

Thanks Aquadecoco - very helpful advice on both of my entries. I need to be more patient - not my strong point. Is there a way I can make dehydrated crackers in the oven? I do not own a dehydrator yet. Thanks!

Do they have salads at these dinners? You could try to mostly eat on those and just eat a little of the rest while you transition.

I don't know if this will help but I have two teenagers and a meat eating hubby at home, so I thought I would relay my experience. My daughter is vegetarian and my son only eats pepperoni on his pizza once a week for his meat. So, I cook their supper which my husband uses for a side dish and he cooks his main dish like a steak or chicken. If my kids were eating more meat I guess I would ask him to cook some meat for them too. I fix my kids a salad (my husband eats one for lunch, so he doesn't want one at supper) and I make myself a huger salad or smoothie or whatever for supper.

Karen, how long have you been raw? I like the idea about filling up on salad. I can do that. I eat a ton of fruits and veggies everyday, and I love smoothies. When it comes to my kids, i have a one yr old and a four yr old. Neither one is real big on meat. Should I raise them vegetarian or allow meat once in awhile. I believe it is healthier for them to avoid meat and animal products, but i feel like that should be a decision they make when they are older. What did you do when your kids were little?

Frumpy,

I know I'm adding little value to your question above, but I too find myself cooking poison for my wife and children while I'm looked upon as the "Crazy Dad with the Crazy Diet". True story if you'll indulge me:

My oldest child (daughter) was chiding me about my green smoothie. Said it looked horrible and likely tasted same. Then said it wasn't food and that my diet is wacko! I had her read me the list of ingredients on the bag of 'Goldfish Extra Cheddar' snacks that she was eating. Most were unpronounceable and certainly made in a science laboratory. I then listed the few selections in my green smoothie: pears, apples, kale, and baby spinach. She didn't have much of a response (for once!).

I hope to learn from what others say on this thread. You started a good one!

Regards,

David

I have only been 100% raw 2 1/2 months, but I have always eaten a big percentage of raw foods.

When my kids were little I fed them chicken nuggets and chicken patties (I know, not good) as well as the pepperoni on their pizza. I think I also fed them fish sticks until they decided they didn't like them. They went to a daycare where they had to eat their lunches, so I wanted them to like those kinds of foods so they wouldn't starve.

When they were around 5 and 6 years old, I worked on getting them to like salads and that was the one great thing I did for their diet, because they still eat a good salad with most suppers.

I also juiced for awhile and they drank carrot and celery/carrot juice a lot. With the juice I started them with like 1 oz and asked them to take a sip, then a few days later asked them to drink an oz all gone and then gradually increased that to 4 ounces (never drink fresh veggie juice with a meal btw, too concentrated. It is like a meal all by itself. It should be served as a snack, an hour or two away from a meal)

With the salad, I created a circle the plate method. I only asked them to take the tiniest bites ever of a piece of leaf lettuce (they could wash it down with water) and then they could circle the plate. But then they had to take another tiny bite before they circled the plate again. We made a joke out of it and we would see who could take the tiniest bit and they would always beat me! If they threw it up that was it for the salad for that meal (I think that happened with my son once, who is highly functional autistic). When they got to where they weren't gagging, then we required bigger bites, then eventually an entire piece of lettuce on each circle and now as teenagers they just eat a plateful of leaf lettuce, carrots, and apples before dinner.

I probably shared more that you wanted to know. ;-)

My kids' diets still aren't perfect, so I may not be the best one to give advice. Right now, I am trying to eliminate all hfcs and transfats. It is hard though, because they do have to live in this world and I don't know what my kids would do socially right now if they didn't like pizza like all the other kids do.

Thnks Dave and Karen - I really appreciate your input. It is going to be a huge challenge to go raw - but I really want to. Today i goofed up pretty good and had chocolate ice cream (i bought it for hubby and kids - why am i eating it???) and then chocoalte covered raisens - it's not even that time of the month -what the heck!! I think I am trying to eat things that I know eventually I will not be eating anymore. I hve done a few days here and there completely raw and not been hungry - then other days, i start raw and by noon i am craving a big turkey sndwich! i hate cravings.
how do people gop out for dinner - do you just have salad everywhere you go? I am trying to prepare myself- I need coping mechanisms or i will surely no0t succeed.
Thks to all!!
Kelly

Kelly why is your sign-in name frumpy18? (if you don't mind saying)

it is rather personal -18 is my fav #, but the frumpy part would embarrass my hubby if he knew I told everyone. let's just say it's a code word and it started when we were first dating and it stuck. still makes us smile.
i am definitely not frumpy - well maybe sometimes - but i try :-)

thanks for all your helpful advice - I am hooked on this site and will continue to use it as i begin my raw journey
kelly

Hey Kelly,
When I go out to eat, I do have a lot of salads. I have found that at buffets there is usually a raw fruit section and a salad section. They usually serve nuts also. There are sauces that can make those things more palatable if you are not that strict about those things yet. I enjoy dressing up my plate and it always makes my friend's or family's dinners look pretty uninteresting in comparison. You can make special requests at restaurants and I have found the staff to be really accommodating. If the resturaunt serves smoothies, just ask them to leave out the yogurt or icecream or whatever conflicts with your dietary preferences. I usually eat a lot before I go out and also sneak in some of my own homemade dressings and other stuff. The waitress or waiter will see it on my plate but never says anything. Sneaky!
Love, Melissa

Thansk Melissa!
I will take your advice and bring some of my own when necessary. I think it will be an adjustment, but I am willing and ready to make the necessary changes. If it means I eat a lot more salad and sneak my ouwn food onto my plate, then I will do it. I am not the kind of person who can just pass on dinner b/c everything is cooked. If I smell food and everyone around me is eating, look out! I better have something to munch on too or I will be miserable. I wish I wasn't this way with food, but I am! I will be sure to plan ahead and be as prepared as I can be. Thanks for your input.
Kelly

Yep, it's mostly salads when you go out to eat. I take a raw bar in my purse in case they don't have enough raw food for me to eat. Sometimes you can scan the entire menu and pick out any veggies used in other dishes and ask to have them added to your salad, raw.

A tiny tupperware container of your own dressing works great (I bought some very tiny ones that I love).

I used to have that problem. I would eat raw all day until supper and then I would break down and eat cooked. Evening meals were the worst for me. For awhile, I bought a few raw olives and a raw bar to have most evenings and that helped. Now I am fine without both.

frumpy18,

When I am going to dinner at someone's place, I will tell them in advance that I am going to bring my own dinner with me, which is usually just fresh fruit. If my friend's want to feed me, I tell them to get me some fresh fruit, but I like organic, and I also let them know that its much easier for me to bring my own fruit (because choosing ripe fruit is an art) rather than them choosing it for me.

So yes, I say no thanks to other people's food unless they are going to serve me food I would prepare for myself.

I usually stick to just doing my best. Usually the people I am eating with know I am raw, and will try to accomodate me by preparing a big salad that I can have. Or I can ask them to just cut up a little fruit for me. Because I can be a black and white thinker, I have to really be careful. For example, last night I was at a dinner party. I asked for a just a large serving of the salad everyone was have, and politely declined the rest of the meal. However, the salad wasn't totally raw. There was non-raw dressing on it, and some cooked veggies and such. I still ate it. Remember that one evening doesnt mean you have 'screwed up' everything and that you arent still a raw foodist. Just do your best, try not to get a case of the 'f-its' and just go overboard, and remember that tomorrow is another day. As important as raw is to me, my relationships are important too and I dont want to alienate myself by not attending group meals.

Thanks guys for all the above responses - it did help. I guess I have been feeling like I have to be all raw from the start and that is probably not very realistic. Does your body go through any side effects when you eat cooked food after being raw for a while? Besides bloating, tiredness etc? I am shedding weight pretty quickly during the weeks i stay mostly raw, so that is good motivation for me. but sometimes at the end of the day i'll eat ice cream or cheese or something and wonder if i screwed up all the benefits from eating raw all day. I'm also wondering how i will ever give up some cooked foods, like chinese food and pizza and christmas cookies . . . i can see myself tasting things that are cooked but not eating them as a primary meal or snack - just a taste. Will this make it harder for me to give up raw foods altogether? I know everyone says eventually you don't miss cooked foods - but some of those tastes I wonder how you get over those when it smells so good.

I sometimes worry about insulting my hosts by rejecting food they have lovingly prepared and served. That doesn't mean I'll eat anything they happen to serve, but to maintain the companionable atmosphere of a shared meal is sometimes tricky if I'm refusing to share the meal. My strategies for this are:

1. Bring a dish to share. This keeps me from starving, and I'm not eating a completely separate meal if I can convince others to try it. If they like my food then I feel that I've won a small point.

2. Taste the food my hosts have prepared. If the food is something I can stand to taste I will frequently eat a small bite of it. That's enough so I can honestly compliment the cook, which goes a long way toward mollifying any hurt feelings as I move on to eat the food I brought from home.

Sometimes the food isn't something I'm willing to taste, so I...

3. Express interest in the food. I'm not willing to try one of my aunts pulled pork submarine sandwiches, but I can ask her about the ingredients in her barbecue sauce. Cooks will frequently take the insult personally if you act as though their food is toxic. The fact that it may truly be toxic is relevant, but saying so is usually both disruptive and ultimately unproductive. Starting a conversation about the food can lessen the blow of rejection and sometimes opens an opportunity to argue my opinions without alienating friends or family.

For my own family, it's not so bad to put a couple of raw things on the supper table and some that is not raw. I eat what I want to eat and the hubby and kids eat what they want to eat. I have not tried to raise my kids raw or vegetarian, but to simply let them know this is an option. My kids have gravitated towards mostly raw or at least vegetarian, but not all the time, and that's ok with me. I think they are eating better than most of their friends.

I find it interesting when they come home from school and have learned things in nutrition class that is completely opposed to what I believe to be true. Still, I react to it as that being simply another way to approach your personal nutrition. Sad to say, for many people, even the old four foods guide would be a major improvement to their way of eating, so I do see a value in this for some. We just have to take on the extra step of educating our kids a little beyond the norm.

I find that the less I make an issue of my preferences, the easier things are for everyone, and the more open people become to wanting to know more.

Sapphire

I'm getting so many great ideas - thank you!! today i was raw til about 5 pm and then started picking at the kids pasta and sauce - feel really full and tired now. the past 2 nights i have intended to eat salad for dinner with avacado and nuts and for some reason both nights i ate regular cooked dinner. the idea of salad was not appealing when it was time to eat. i think tomorrow i will eat salad for lunch, then have green smoothie for dinner. one recipe i have looked at is made with raw steel cut oats and almond milk, raisens and cinn. - has anyone eated the raw oats like that? I always thought you had to cook oats - don't know why though. thanks for all the great tips everyone

I know EXACTLY how you feel frumpy18!!

If you start cooking anything for your family and you are hungry, it's a disaster waiting to happen - I've made this mistake many times. All those nice smells are nearly irresistable if you are hungry. So I have made a habit of mixing a smoothie for myself and sipping on it while I cook for everyone else. Then, by the time we all sit down, I'm not all that hungry, and it's easy to just nibble on a salad or a nice plate of fruits or veggies.

As long as I am able to head off any big hunger pangs, I don't have a problem sticking to my guns, but anything can happen when I'm starving and the house is full of things I'm trying to avoid!

Sapphire