Okay, we've all been there (i assume) - a friend or family member invites a whole lot of people out for dinner and YOU'RE invited. Everyone orders heavy, cooked foods which include a variety of animal products, dairy and grains.

What do you order?

And when people make a fuss over what you're eating, what do you say?

SSOOOO many times I have almost totally fallen out of the raw food lifestyle because of feeling like an inconvenience to the chef or due to people's rude inquiries/ comments to my diet.

Any suggestions or experiences you want to contribute?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/06/2007 08:06AM by bindiguurl.

bindi you sound like a girl who aims to please everyone .. think about yourself too! . the restaurant is a business and they are there to serve you. tell your friends you are there to see them not the food ...what you eat is your business

ive told family/friends i have medical tests the next day and have to restrict certain things if they really get pushy about it .. all my friends and familynow know what im doing so its no longer an issue (except for the occaisional rabbit food joke)

there is about a half dozen restaurants around me that i have gone into or phoned into the cooks and told them what my diet is all about and not a single one of them has refused to make me something of their creation withen the paramaters i give them .. in fact some of them find it a welcome challenge(ego stroke if you tell them you are confident that they can come up with SOMETHING).. i take them pictures or give them receipes that i print out and there is no problem ! they know me when i phone and are more then happy to give me something unique

theres nothing bizarre about having a crazy salad and if anyone is rude about it to you then you should possiblly take them asiide later and tell them how that makes you feel .. more often then not rude people are really insecure about their own issues

...Jodi, the banana eating buddhist

i usually don't go to a restaurant for the food
but to hang out with friends or if i'm invited to a social/party etc.

i have found that not only do people NOT make any rude comments about my order ( its always the same... a salad or a bowl of fruit)

but they end up ordering the SAME thing

wow... people are such copycats

but i'm cool with it

usually people don't care about what you order
they aren't there for the food either ( they can get that at home or anywhere else if they REALLY wanted to)


restaurants are just places for people to make deals, check out each other's vibes, talk about nothing in general or something in specific


it usually has nothing to do with food at all

food just HAPPENS to be there

at least, that's how i see it

and people order something cuz its like a courtesy to pay 'rent" for the 20 minutes or half an hour that you are there chatting away

it's easy to want to talk to everyone about raw foods when you first get started, you just want to share the amazingness, especially with the people you care about most, that's natural. but it shines such a spotlight on your diet that everyone is very conscious of it around you. i think if you don't want people to make a big deal about what you're eating, or not eating, you have to not make such a big deal of it yourself.
in a restaurant situation eat before you go, when you're there you can say that you aren't really all that hungry but could go for a salad. you might get an "are you sure that's all you really want?" but most people will let it go at that.

I take a business card with me (I haven't used it yet) and on this business card it says:

I EAT ONLY RAW, UNCOOKED FOODS

I would like a salad or vegetable plate with only fresh, uncooked items:
Lettuce, zucchini, broccoli, cauliflower, spinach, sprouts, scallions, parsley, cilantro, bell peppr, tomato, cucumber, radish, cabbage, kale, celery, onion, carrots, avocado, mushrooms

Thank you for your creative effort!

This idea came from Victoria Boutenko "12 steps to raw foods"

You can hand this business card over to the server.





Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/06/2007 04:00PM by deegarry@yahoo.com.

-Diet is a very private issue. If anyone asks....just let them know your on a 'special diet'.

-Let your friends and family know that you are there to see THEM....and support THEM.

-Don't eat if you like....just order a glass of water......or eat an apple or snack that you brought.

-DO NOT BE AN ENABLER.....maintain dignity boundaries by simply not answering rude or cross-examining comments. The first 'special diet' explanation should be enough for just about anyone. Sex...religion...diet....these are all very personal issues.....and you are no obligation to defend your behaviors.

-Very quickly....your friends and family should be pretty familiar with how you choose to live your life and eat. Do your best to support them....but if they bust your chops.....take a walk. Generally though....if you support others....you get pretty good support yourself. Just my experience.

-David Z. Mason

WWW.RawFoodFarm.com

DMZ says:


<<Do your best to support them....but if they bust your chops.....take a walk.>>

what? uh huh... i don't think so homey...

Confucius told me :

u bust my chops
i bust yoursss!!!


yaaaaaahhhhHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

. LaV

. I surprised

. that you are following that old Chinese man!

- "Man who fight with wife all day, get no piece at night."


. I think the best policy is to eat beforehand, and just say "I ate beforehand, I'm experimenting with preparing all my own foods for awhile, I don't want to mess with my record!, although I am tempted [not!]"

. theres no need to ever even use words like 'raw' or even 'vegan', unless you really think someone is generally interested in anything other then judging you or themselves.

. I always engage in conversations like how good it is to get really drunk on Irish car bombs..or how awesome pancakes are or whatever. its just stuff...you know? people enjoy those conversations...and rarely is there an event for real transmission of any info I could give (although amazing things have happened, for instance in a 'gourmet' hot dog place I went to recently..lol)..so I keep such things to myself, and since, never have any problems at outings



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/07/2007 03:08AM by anaken.

i think jodi is right. You're all very right and i appreciate all your comments and suggestions! - but jodi hit a nail on the head with me, being that i want everyone to be comfortable.

most of the people i know are supportive of my diet. however, for some reason i feel anxious i am going to come into contact with rude people. i hate talking about my beliefs and the knowledge or wisdom i have gained as a human being, like everybody else, because i expect people to feel threatened by me. nearly every time they are young guys too.

there are a couple of my bf's friends who associate eating meat with who they are. they don't even know i am vegan, let alone eating more raw food, as they are still hung up on the concept of me being vegetarian. i have known them for four years now and every time i see them they put me down for not eating meat. i have shown them i don't like the way they treat me and now don't even talk to them but they continue to find me a threat. i rarely see them anymore because after being treated this way for so long i no longer have respect for them or want to put myself in that situation. i was trying to keep the peace because they're friends of my bf, but now i just want to look after my own sanity.

however, once in a while i might be at a social gathering and they happen to be there or i might have to be in the same room as them out of social obligation - so i just wanted to be prepared. they're so nasty.

so thanks a lot to everyone who gave experiences and advice.
and everyone is right - i need to care less and just do what is right for me.

maybe your BF needs to have a little chat with his friends about disrespecting you .. thats not too cool .. disrespecting you is disrespecting him and if he thinks youre being silly about something that obviously disturbs you i would certainly be going hmmmm

i mean boys can be boys .. but i remember one time one of my fellas friends was waving some chicken leg in my face going mmmmm doncha wish ... and my guy slapped it out of his hand and told him not to be sucha jerk or else .. his buddy was horribly embarassed at his behaviour

...Jodi, the banana eating buddhist




Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 10/07/2007 03:22AM by Jgunn.

. ha, yeah...if it gets to the point of dangling chicken legs in from of me (or a lady-friend) then they will certainly get a piece of my 'policy' ha!.

. bring it up with him, but again, don't make HIM feel like he has to defend your lifestyle any more then YOU do, just that strait-forward ABUSE is not acceptable, not cool.

anaken

confucius says:

you wave chicken leg in front of my face

i HIT you in the head with celery stick !!!

yaaaaaHHHHHHHH!!!


also, you said :

. <<LaV

. I surprised

. that you are following that old Chinese man!

- "Man who fight with wife all day, get no piece at night." >>

LOL!

Men,

take notes