I've been vegetarian for over 10 years now. I'm currently changing over to completely raw foods. I believe that everyone should decide what journey is right for them, but I can't help but feel a little upset when the person I love the most, my husband, chooses to eat pure crap whenever he gets the chance.

If I put down a nice, healthy meal in front of him, he'll take a few nibbles, say he's full. Then later on, fixes himself whatever he wants from his junk food cabinet (which he stocks himself). The worst part, is that he's a doctor, well, a psychiatrist. He knows that everything I say about eating goods foods is true, but just won't change.

I'm Frustrated. I can't imagine how we're going to resolve this if we have kids someday. He doesn't see anything wrong with his diet. It's the diet he was raised on, and he doesn't have any major health problems, so he's not willing to change.

Anyone else in this struggle? Thanks.

I hear you. It must be very frustrating. But there is nothing to resolve. All YOU can do is be a good and peaceful example. Happy and accepting/supporting of others. ANY other example is going to drive people AWAY from healthy eating...no matter how good one's intentions.

-Stock the house with fresh raw foods and dishes. Prepare enough for yourself and others. If they eat it - fine. If not, more for you. You children and husband will ALWAYS be able to observe the energy and happiness of YOU...and see what you do....and see your grace and support of THEM. After that, they have their own path to choose - and need your support and strength. What do you think?

-David Z. Mason

WWW.RawFoodFarm.com

Thanks David. I know you're right. I'm just going to keep doing what I'm doing and hope it brings change for him.

There was a book I read that had a chapter on this subject. It was '12 steps to raw foods' by Victoria Boutenko. She basically said the same thing David said.

My Mother thought you couldn't survive long enough eating raw. But now almost a year for me being raw, she has noticed remarkable changes in me that she has become a vegetarian because of me. She is taking small steps. But if you knew my mother, there is no way of convincing her of anything, she basically noticed herself the difference in me and that is what convinced her to become a vegetarian (no meat, fish or eggs) but she still eats dairy.





Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/27/2008 06:43PM by deegarry@yahoo.com.

I have been raw since last june. I still cook for my family. They are seeing the changes in me and are slowly starting to look at their diet. They are very encourageing for me. One has to find this by seaking it out. Personally I don't think I would have done this if someone was telling me. I think it was sweet of him to eat your food and be polite. I hope to intergrate live foods in my childrens diet but I surley can't just cut out their regular cuisine. There would be such a revolt and they would not experiance the positive force in eating raw. My family is proud of me and speak that way. I went off raw during the holidays and my oldest daughter was nearly in tears trying to encourage me to go back raw. She even made a wonderfull fruit basket for me for christmass. Going raw is not easy and neither is cutting out the meat. I would wish my family to go raw but I can only control my self in this matter. Remember love conquirs all
best wishes
pam

Hi Pampam

I recognise the sudden fullness after a few bites of healthy meal...and then snacks half an hour afterwards!

Claire

I hear you! Just keep on with your diet and perhaps he will eventually see the benefits. Slowly integrate some of the yummier aspects of your diet onto his plate. I guess with kids you can feed them raw as best you can, but not 100% as your husband may give them some of his stuff sometimes. Good luck.

Hi blackfoot.

I just posted a a new blog post giving away an amazing book by raw food expert, Ann Wigmore. It's 88 pages and single spaced, not double so it's more like 150 pages.

It's about her story on how she overcame pain and suffering by changing over to the raw foods diet.

You can grab a free copy on my blog here:
[www.chidiet.com]

It's a great read. I hope it helps

Jim Carey

Thanks for all of your advice guys! It really helps to hear that I'm not alone out there. I've found this forum to be most helpful.

Hi blackfoot98!

I know exactly what you are talking about - I also live with a family of all kinds of different eaters. But I think one of the worst things is to label yourself or anyone, and this is why:

Several years ago, my husband's dad was coming to stay with us for a visit. He knew I was a vegetarian, and I guess I never really realized just how nervous that whole thing made him. After all, who knew what kind of crazy alien food I might try to trick him into eating.

But of course, I did nothing of the sort. I just made the same kind of meals I always made - on that particular night I think I had mashed potatoes, a big salad, pork chops, marinated mushrooms and steamed some kind of veggie. I was big into baking breads back then too, so probably some warm bread. Probably not a whole lot different than anything he had ever eaten in his life. This was pretty standard for me at the time - I could eat anything other than the pork and still be very satisfied, and anyone who really wanted some meat was also satisfied.

BUT....

Much to my surprise, he filled up his plate with several pork chops and added about a tablespoon of potato, and refused to try anything else. Now I know there was nothing there I hadn't seen him eat many times before, and I am sure this was just a big mental block for him - NO WAY was he going to willingly take part in any of that CRAZY vegetarian behaviour!! I bet he never ate such a poorly balanced meal in his entire life as that one, just to keep himself safe from foods he eats all the time when nobody calls them vegetarian foods.

Getting my drift???.......

So I really hate to call myself anything any more. And I especially hate when people ask me if I CAN eat this or that. Don't be silly, I CAN eat anything I want, I chose to eat how I eat. Right now, raw works for me, and most days I do really great. And that is why I never have any problem making my family the kinds of food they like. Clearly, they must individually look into their own heart and decide what resonates with them as being the best choice. And amazingly, the better job I do at respecting their choices, the more supportive they become of my choices. (and the more adventurous about trying out my suggestions)

I'd rather go totally back to SAD than let something as benign as food choices create barriers between me and my loved ones. Without them, my health doesn't count for much. Gotta keep things in perspective.

Sapphire

hi blackfoot

you're doing great
wishing you well
proud of u

blackfoot,

I can relate. I have a meat-eating husband, too. I am mostly raw. I sometimes make my husband a raw meal. He'll nibble at it, say he doesn't like it, and then later sneak out and go to El Pollo Loco. So I gave in, and I started cooking him a "healthy" SAD diet. I give him free range, organic chicken, organic beef, whole fruits and vegetables albeit cooked. Sometimes, if I have a really good recipe for a raw side dish, I'll put that on his plate, but other than that, salad is the only raw food he eats, and he insists on putting store bought dressing on it. Making him SAD food makes me feel guilty in several ways; I feel like I am healthier than he is. I feel bad about the suffering of the animals who died for that meat (even free-range may not be that humane), and I sometimes feel like I should be able to influence him to be vegan raw although deep down I know better. If I try to force him, it will just alienate him and cause resentment. Control isnt' healthy in any relationship.
So don't feel bad. You're doing the best you can. You can't interfere with his autonomy. That's just the way it is.