I haven't said much about MY raw journey here lately, because, well, I haven't started it yet.

I had cooked food commitments that I felt were very important to keep because I made them before I took interest in going raw. I did have five straight days in which I went raw and felt AMAZING! However, when I went back to cooked foods, I hurt big-time! I decided not to try to stay raw until after my cooked food commitments. It was a matter of integrity for me to honor my commitments and those I made them to.

To be honest, though, my last cooked food commitment is this Friday and I don't know if I can make it until then. I really don't. I feel utterly horrible on cooked foods. Maybe it's because I'm very aware of how great I felt on raw for five days. I didn't need a transition of any kind. But, right now, I feel like a block of cement with chronic acid reflux. Food is so unappetizing and uninteresting to me right now that, if it weren't for learning about going raw, I don't know what I would have done. I can't stand feeling this way. My skin is just bad and I'm so, so, lethargic.

A friend convinced me to blog my experience from the very beginning. She thinks it will inspire people "because that's how you are." What I am is a hermit, but I do want to change that. I have ONE photograph of myself with my best friend from the early 90's. I have refused to have my photo taken out of sheer embarrassment and shame. I'm not overly huge - 230 pounds. (16.4 stone for my UK friends.) I'm 5ft. 9.5in. tall.

I decided to take her up on her suggestion. I'm going to blog/vlog my journey. I've done three videos so far and am starting to loosen up in front of the camera. I thought I would have a heart attack upon the first attempt! LOL I joined YouTube, which utterly freaks me out! Now I'm "out there." This is something I'm wanting to change though, too. I used to be very social, but upon gaining weight, I withdrew and kept to myself.

I'm tired of existing and it's time to live again. I used to have a vibrant, wonderful life and I want it back. So, with several major changes going on in my life right now, I've decided to do the blog/vlog to help with accountability.

I'm just a regular guy. There's nothing special about me, but, part of my overcoming this hermitage is giving people my YouTube name so they can watch my videos, if they want to. If you don't, believe me, it's fine! LOL I'm learning how to edit, so each video gets a bit easier and a little better.

***Please know that I'm not giving this information about me on YouTube for any ratings or comments. It's not about that and I'm not asking you to rate or comment on YouTube about my videos. This is about me moving on with my life in a healthy way and breaking with habits that keep me bound and lifeless. It's about me getting my life back. To be honest, creating this thread is freaking the hell out of me.

So, here it is. I'm BlogCabinGuy on YouTube. Here's a link to my videos: [www.youtube.com] Now, I'm going to hide from sheer embarrassment already! You have no idea how fast my heart is racing and how much I'm shaking by posting this! Anyway, thanks for reading this and for putting up with all of my dumb questions over the last few weeks. You're all very inspiring to me.

Oh my gosh, you go!!! I can't wait to check you out on YouTube when I get home from work today!

re: anxiety... i feel for you, SL, i know its difficult to put it out there to the world, but i think you will be an inspiration to a lot of people, too. i think its a great idea, and i salute you!

(btw nobody is buying the "regular guy, nothing special about me" business...)

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Posted by: maui_butterfly (IP Logged)
Date: March 19, 2008 09:53PM

Oh my gosh, you go!!! I can't wait to check you out on YouTube when I get home from work today!

re: anxiety... i feel for you, SL, i know its difficult to put it out there to the world, but i think you will be an inspiration to a lot of people, too. i think its a great idea, and i salute you!

(btw nobody is buying the "regular guy, nothing special about me" business...)

LOL Thanks for the encouragement! This is seriously a scary thing for me, which, in itself scares me that it scares me because nothing used to scare me at all! I lived life fearlessly!

But, yes, I truly am your average, Richie Cunningham, boring, hum-drum, nothing exciting joe. My middle name is wallpaper. Part of me likes being that way because it's safe. I don't feel like I have much in common with the world the way it is now. The other part of me says that it's not healthy and I should make an attempt to be more involved.

Right! Your compassion is shining through. You will help many people by being happy, successful, graceful, accepting and sharing your experiences! Power to you!

-David Z. Mason

WWW.RawFoodFarm.com

Maybe I misunderstood--but you can eat raw the rest of the time, and just eat the cooked when you have the commitments. Are you eating raw now, or wiaitng until after this last thing?

Keith,
I wish you the best of luck!
You look very relaxed,and very talented in front of the camera.
Not at all like you are "freaking" scared.
I too am looking for a new life in raw.
Brian

David, thanks for the kindness. I think one of the reasons I withdrew, aside from the weight gain, was because I felt like a stranger in a foreign land (in America). I always looked at difficulties, trials, conflicts and hardships with a mindset of, "how can I grow from this?" After all, we tend to learn more from failures than we do success. After a difficult time, I learned the lesson to be learned from it, incorporated it into my life and moved on.

I hesitate to say this next part because it doesn't come from a sense of pride, but really one of humility. I've always been someone people have come to for advice. I keep confidences and I know how to listen. I've learned that, most of the time, people just need a sounding board and, after talking out their problems, come up with their own answer. But, when asked for advice, or my thoughts, I'm honest with them and explain from my own experiences. For a long time, I've been told that I should be a "life coach" or some kind of motivator. Those are nice words, but I couldn't ever bring myself to charge someone for helping them make their life better. Most people are in debt up to their eyeballs and I refuse to charge someone for something I think should come from a place of kindness and compassion instead of a financial enterprise! Everyone has different strengths so we need each other. The greed in this world grieves me.

Sorry this is so long. It's just that your post got me thinking. I do really care about people and want to see people succeed and make better choices. After all, we are all where we're at in life because of the choices we've made. I think making these videos is the "old me" clawing his way back out.

rost0037,

I understand why you'd be confused. For me, I can't be only 50% (or partially) raw. When I am, my gut really hurts because of the cooked food. It seems to be an all or nothing thing when it comes to my body. Perhaps because I've always been an all or nothing person in many areas of my life. Do it with your whole heart or don't do it at all.

So, for integrity's sake, I've decided to fulfill the cooked food commitments I've made to others before I decided to go raw. It's very important for me to keep my word, whether it benefits me or not. But, tomorrow is my FINAL cooked food commitment and I'm free to be raw!

I'm not even concerned about a "last meal" when it comes to cooked. I bid it farewell like I would any other problem I was able to get rid of!

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Posted by: Raw1228 (IP Logged)
Date: March 20, 2008 09:11AM

Keith,
I wish you the best of luck!
You look very relaxed,and very talented in front of the camera.
Not at all like you are "freaking" scared.
I too am looking for a new life in raw.
Brian

Thanks, Brian!

I do feel a bit of the old me starting to come back after seven years. I'm really wanting to make the videos as fun as possible so those who are struggling with going raw will stay encouraged. In my YouTube e-mail, the number of messages I received after my last video shot up dramatically with people saying they were motivated.

Believe me, I was freaking scared making those! The first video alone, (this is embarrassing) took me several hours to do because I was determined to do it without making any cuts. Then I had to learn how to edit (which, on a Mac is not very difficult as it turns out!) Then, I had to learn YouTube and uploading and all the things I've never done before.

I really do hope you'll keep us up on how things are going. It can be a difficult lifestyle to lead by yourself, especially in the beginning. It helps to know you're not alone. I'm going to advertise, host and put together a meeting place for raw foodists in my area. I think it's important to have a community of people that you can connect with.

More power to you! It's inspiring to see people so committed, especially later down the line if you find a challenge that makes you question your own commitments. Thanks for sharing!