This thread may make history...lmao
Tell your favorite joke.

hmmm... why is it that i can't think of any right now when i have heard so many good ones?

i like the fruitandveggie jokes the best

more please!

I like these threads, and I'll probably tell more than one joke in it.

For starters:

Why did the mushroom go to the party?

Because he was a fun guy.

Why did the banana go to the doctor?

Because it wasn't peeling very well.

-------------------------------------

Why were the strawberries upset?

Because they were in a jam.

-------------------------------------

What is the most dangerous vegetable to have on a boat?

A leek!



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 02/02/2009 10:09PM by Omega.

la_veronique Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> hmmm... why is it that i can't think of any right
> now when i have heard so many good ones?

You forget my "guide to Chinese"?

A professional juggler, driving to his next performance, is stopped by the police.

"What are you doing with these matches and lighter fluid in your car?" asks the police officer.

"I'm a juggler and I juggle flaming torches in my act."

"Oh yeah? Let's see you do it," says the officer.

So the juggler gets out and starts juggling the blazing torches
masterfully.

A couple driving by slows down to watch. "Wow," says the driver to his
wife. "I'm glad I quit drinking. Look at the test they're giving now!"

heh, thats pretty good actually!

Good one, Bill.

Sharrhan:


[www.facebook.com]

Murphy's Lesser Known Laws

1) Light travels faster than sound. This explains why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

2) Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

3) Those who live by the sword usually get shot by those who don't.

4) Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

5) The 50-50-90 rule : Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

6) If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog.

7) The things that come to those who wait will most often be the junk left by those who got there first.

8) The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

9) A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

10) When you got into court, you are putting yourself into the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

Whats the #1 rule at a cannibal's house at dinner?

Nobody leaves the table....till everyones eaten.

CB

<<You forget my "guide to Chinese"? >>

noooooooooooooooooo way!
that was SU PAHHH!

please post it again
reallly enjoyed it
from the forum a coupla years ago
it was sooooo hilarious

According to the Knight-Ridder News Service, the inscription on the metal
bands used by the U.S. Department of the Interior to tag migratory birds
has been changed. The bands used to bear the address of the Washington
Biological Survey, abbreviated:

Wash. Biol. Surv.

until the agency received the following letter from an Arkansas camper:
Dear Sirs:

While camping last week I shot one of your birds. I think it was
a crow. I followed the cooking instructions on the leg tag and I
want to tell you it was horrible.

The bands are now marked Fish and Wildlife Service.

Qabalist teacher Ann Davies told a story about a
U.S.Army general negotiating with a Cannibal chief
in New Guinea during World War II. The general wanted
the chief to rally his tribe to help American troops
fight the Japanese. The cheif refused, calling the
Americans immoral. The general was shocked. "We are
not immoral!" he protested. "The Japanese are immoral!"
The canibal chief replied, "The Japanese and Americans
are equally immoral. You both kill far more people than
you can eat."