Well 6 days ago my dad found my mom in the morning (82 years old) listing to the left and thought she had a stroke so off she went to emergency

the first 4 days she was in the vibrating agitated state while they kept her going on Ventilators (breathing machine) pumped her full of drugs to empty her kidneys, stabalize her heart palipations, regulate her blood pressure etc etc etc

i went into see her one day and they injected her with 12 meds while i was there in 2 hours
i was just freaking out

i said goodbye to my mom when her personality diminished a few years ago due to alzheimers and dementia so she is not even the person today that she was i grew up with

it makes me sad to see her suffer with all these tubes and machines keeping her going , breathing, beating

i keep visiting her and whispering into her ear i love her and its ok to let go and relax but she keeps struggling against it all

the doctors now have her in a a completely sedated state and restrained and on machines

she has severe pnemonia in both lungs and cant even breathe on her own and all my brothers and sisters are screaming at the doctors to give her more of this and more of that and do SOMETHING .... and im the only one that is saying something for what , her quality of life is horrible the last 2 years shes been living in bed on oxygen , not doing much besides watching the tv and sleeping an, i feel guilty or something stupid it is driving me nuts

and i just want her to stop hurting and it makes me so sad

...Jodi, the banana eating buddhist

Oh oh my.......
Umm
thank you for sharing this first of all.

Jodi,
If a complete stranger can send all his love to your mom,thats what I want to do.
I love my mother,and can really sympathize with you.

Gosh,I wish I could heal via the internet....................

But loving thoughts are being sent your way.............

God I love all you people here on this forum.

thanks hun i think she is beyond healing but all your love really helps! , im more disturbed about the whole artificial keeping her alive thing i just dont like it , and maybe some people will disagree or think badly of me but i just hate seeing her like that :/ maybe thats selfish in itself

...Jodi, the banana eating buddhist




Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/21/2009 02:58AM by Jgunn.

Please keep talking to us thru this entire situation.
All the way thru...
Ok?


God bless.

Vinny

thanks hun, my mom was a peach. she was a little girl in england in ww2 and she told me crazy stories about her life all thru the decades, the dirty 30's, tv dinners, fonzi , the crazy 60's , disco, and on and on, the last 10 years or so she was so astonished about computers and technology and how far things had gone in her lifetime , she had driven everything from an original ford to a porche lol...she would sit down to dinner with you for the fanciest dinner and tell you the dirtiest jokes on her mind with a blush and a giggle

she was something else

...Jodi, the banana eating buddhist

Jodi, I'm so sorry! My dad has alzheimer's too, so I know in part...

But it's so hard to stand by and watch the things that are done to people we love in hospital settings. I know there's nothing I can say to make it better, but just know that we love you and we're sending you and your family loving, healing thoughts.

Sharrhan:


[www.facebook.com]

Jodi,

Sending healing energy to you, and peace to your mother. Try to transcend the hospital situation, for there's nothing you can do except to continue to whisper words of comfort into your mother's ear. Her brain might have changed, but I'm sure it still recognizes a loving voice when it's heard. Be the steady calm amid the chaos for her, and for yourself. Focus on "my mom was a peach," hold that joyful thought, and use it to get through your visits. Big hug from me.

Jodi....I'm saddened to hear about your mother and the hospital. Hopefully her stay will be brief. My father spent the last six years of his life in a Nursing Home with all the abuse that goes on there. He died in 1999 at age 85.
I'm reading a good book now...."Graceful Exits...How Great Beings Die". We have a choice you know. I'm not going to end up like your mother, or my father.....WY

Hey thanks all !

Yogi im gonna look for that book thanks

...Jodi, the banana eating buddhist

Jodi:

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Sending waves of love and peace to you and your Mom...

Instead of thinking badly of you, I think just the opposite. It takes great strength to face the truth when others around you are denying it. I also admire your openness and appreciate your trust to share how you feel with us.

Of course everyone is focused on your mother and what they believe her needs are, but it is so easy for caregivers and loved ones to get physically and emotionally depleted at times like this. I hope you take care of yourself and find someone who can listen to you talk about your feelings, thoughts and memories that come up during this difficult time. And I hope your mother finds peace soon.

you know what? your post of course made my heart twinge for you and your mama but more than that? i smiled at the memories of her that you shared here...

it's ok Jodi, this is only a brief stop-over in the story of her life. it's neither the best nor the worst thing she has experienced and it isn't the biggest thing she's felt and gone through either. i am Certain that hearing from you your love and comfort makes an enormous impact on her even through the fog of her condition and treatment. keep that feeling firmly anchored in your mind and heart.
in time this too shall pass and she will be in a different space. try to focus on her in a loving way how you have been and stay in that feeling, projecting it towards her and steeping yourself in it too. that is the most important thing.

peace and love to you. stay in that love, stay there for the both of you. xo.

Sending a hug today..................................................

hi jgunn

i'm so sorry you are going through this
hugs

hoping you are having a good day... ((((hugs))))

Just wanted to drop in and share some love and {{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

sorry it could not continue with us soraya.

vinny

thanks for all your prayers and hugs and good wishes and thoughts.

my mom has been moved out of Emergency care unit now to general ward, her pneumonia seems to be beaten at the moment.

its so sad to see her all covered in bruises from all the holes they poked in her.
shes still on oxygen but she is at least lucid from time to time.

unfortunately ive been sick with my own flu so ive been banished from the germ factory (hospital) untill im under control

i dont think she has long for this world but at the moment she seems calm and not hurting so much , so thats all i can hope for at the moment

*hugs*

...Jodi, the banana eating buddhist

continued hugs

Hugs to you, Jodie. You are in our thoughts & prayers. I went through a similar situation back in '99 when my dad passed away.

(More etheric hugs headed your way.)

Jodi,

Stay well and stay loving. Hugs form me.

Oh that is so sad, but you are doing the right thing to talk to her, be close..get in the bed if you feel like it. I know how it's so hard to be intimate in a hospital setting, but I was able to give lots of love to my sister and be very close to her when she was nearing her death.

I also whispered things like that to my sister too Jodi..it's ok, you are going to the place with God you have dreamed about, that we would be ok here, and to go to God..which she had a strong belief in.

We all support and love you..we are saying our prayers, chants, sending our vibes to you and your mom.

Love,
Prism

Well after a few rought days this last week touch an go , mom seems to have bounced back from the near dead, today she was perky, chirpy, even ornery at moments (back to her old self lol), she still cant walk and still is on oxygen , but shes more lucid then ive seen her in months

im not holding my breath as i know this sometimes happens this way , but for now i was really really happy to be able to sit with her today an we talked for a few hours eye to eye and i told her a few of the silly jokes ive read on here and she got a good laugh and she was really with it enough to understand for the most part.

and yes prism i did crawl into bed with her and we hugged an talked

...Jodi, the banana eating buddhist

Thats really great to hear!

Ah..that's so sweet..I'm happy she has you Jodi!

Love,
Prism

That's wonderful news, Jodi!

Sharrhan:


[www.facebook.com]

hi jgunn

i'm sure your mom is an AWESOME person because YOU are
thanks for being so compassionate and loving towards your mom

it warms my heart to hear that you were able to connect with her

Jgunn,
How is mom lately?

Vinny