(This is a true story. The names of the individual fruits and vegetables have been changed to protect the innocent. Any references to real foods, people or entities is purely coincidental, and should not be taken as anything but… good ole’ fashion fun)

Wonder Coco and the Attack of Lord Globalmort’s GenAlts

There seem to be complete chaos through the land. The initial attack was sudden, unforeseen, and devastating. The people were panic stricken as the Ministry of Raw foods tried to restore order and comfort the stricken people…

A disheveled and worried looking cucumber walks into the room. There is much discussion going on behind him, in the room here came from. His robes are crumpled, and tomato stained. Cardnal Cucumber approaches the dais with tired and sad look on his face. With a shaky voice he addresses the anxious crowd:

The ministry is under attack! Globalmort is at our gates with a Mansantonator and an army of genetically altered tomatoes and walnuts. The Date Palms have organized the other trees into defensive positions around the walls and are doing their best to repel the attack. However, we do not know how long we can hold the gates. The mansantonator is a horrible creature that alters natural tomatoes and walnuts into terrible creatures bent on destruction of all life. It then shoots these vile creatures at us in an unending assault. The giant machine, with Globalmort at the controls must be stopped. We have suffered heavy losses. The honorable Pope Goodmelon has been taken to a safe and undisclosed location. Bishop Banana was hit by a walnut and split his head. Many groans are heard from the shocked crowd. His condition is serious, but stable. He is under the care of Doctor Durian, and the Nurse Pearl Onion.

We must do what we can to help. Globalmort and his hoard must not be allowed to enter the Ministry. We need to organize an Organic Citizens Defense Army. We need to get all the

CRASH BOOOM BASH BIG-BATA-BOOM!!!!!!!!!!

Suddenly, the room was thrown into confusion. Several things happened at once. The entire north wall of the Ministry building fell to pieces. People scattered in several directions. Power to the building failed. It was dark due to all of the dust from the broken stone wall. A loud groaning and roar filled the room. The mansantonator, with Globalmort at the helm had broken the Ministry’s defenses and crashed through the wall. It began shooting genetically altered tomatoes everywhere splattering everything in its path with the deadly genetic goo. The good people, fruit and veggies of the Ministry were falling everywhere. The trees were attempting to surround the mansantonator, but Globalmort was too quick, and the machine began firing the abominable walnuts at them. The trees were forced to retreat in haste.

It was looking hopeless when from out of the dust appeared Wonder Coco, with an arsenal of home made felt gnomes and pin cushions. She was throwing the gnomes with such force, they were breaking through the mansantonators outer defenses. Wonder coco knew if she could get close enough, she would be able to…splat, SPLAT. Coco was hit twice with the horrible tomatoes. She stumbled, but did not fall. With all her might she jumps toward the masanonator and…

…tune later for the next installment of Wonder Coco and the Attack of Lord Globalmort’s GenAlts
(which will be continued after my physical therapy appointment, and ice for my shoulder)

*smile*

you loon you.

OOh...ooh...I am on the edge of my seat. What drama!!! Thanks goodness for Wonder Coco!!!

swimmer Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> (This is a true story. The names of the individual
> fruits and vegetables have been changed to protect
> the innocent.

Hahahaha!

coco Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> *smile*
>
> you loon you.


lol Indeed!
Time + restlessness - sanity = one really stupid silly story
(just reread it, kinda stinks huh?)


pakd4fun,
Me too, I guess I need to come up with an ending now!


suspendedindefinitely,
Thanks, but it must not be very good if it's only the preface that was funny.



Ok, I need ice. Maybe while I'm at it I can figure out a way for wonder coco to save us, and improve my writing skills at the same time!

LOL love it
patty

Now that I have been manipulated, exercised, ultra-sounded, electro-shocked, iced to absolute zero, and medicated with copious amounts of a delicious cantaloupe…Back to our story.



With all her might Coco jumps toward the monsantonator, and lands on top of it. Coco then begins to pull pin cushions out her pockets and stuff them into the many turrets of the monster.

At the same time, a large contingency of evil sea salt rocks begins to hurl themselves at the ministry allies. An even larger group of watermelons blocks their path and protects everyone with a selfless sacrifice. The watermelons are blasted by the rocks, but the sea salt rocks dissolve in the juice, creating a tidal wave of salt and juice that engulfs all the evil rocks in its path.

Wonder Coco is riding the monsantonater like a bronco, taking out the turret guns one by one. She is defeating the beast, and it’s screaming in anger as a genetically modified mush backs up, and builds pressure to dangerous levels. The beast is writhing in its attempts to unseat coco as she continues to stuff the pin cushions with un-relentless skill and speed. Globalmort, sensing defeat exits the evil contraption just as its pressure hits a critical point, and blasts into several pieces.

The battle is over. The ministry has won! But there is no celebration yet. The fallen must be cared for, nerves must be steadied, and shattered lives rebuilt.

The genetically modified tomatoes and walnuts are to be confiscated by the U.S. government which will declare them unfit for human consumption, and send them to third world countries for…human consumption.

Globalmort slipped away to another thread before he could be captured. He will be tried, found guilty of whatever crimes the ministry chooses to accuse him of. His sentence will be several months of meditative sessions with Bryan on better health through calmness and breathing.

Bryan was hit in the head several times by genetically modified walnuts. He was found wondering the halls singing the Oscar Mayer Wiener song. However he is recovering his senses quickly, and will be ready to retrain Globalmort as soon as he is apprehended.

Coco had several puncture wounds in her hands. It would seem some of the pin cushions still had pins in them.

Bishop Banana is recovering nicely and will return to his normal duties soon. However Dr. Durian and Nurse pearl Onion ran off with Shazzy to make some new kinky you-tube video.

The monsantonator will be completely disassembled and rebuilt onto a reverse osmosis water purification system for the community, so it can do no more harm.
Its manufacturer, monsanto, the evil behind the curtain will sure to try to destroy all that is good and organic again. We must be ever watchful.

The ministry walls will be rebuilt and harmony will once again rein at The People of the Raw Food Vegan Purists.

t
h
e

end

Love it, Swimmer! Reminds me a little of the Codex Chronicles (or whatever it was called) that LaVeronique started on the 'Off Topic' board awhile back, and we all chipped in and added chapters to it. Great fun!

Sharrhan:


[www.facebook.com]

oh my word, some of your imagery!

"hit in the head several times by genetically modified walnuts. He was found wondering the halls singing the Oscar Mayer Wiener song."

*screaming with laughter*

hillarious!

Ha,ha

F1

genetically modified walnuts!! love it
patty

Thanks guys! I had fun!

kwan, cool, Those are fun. Gonna have to search for the Codex Chronicles.

We should do another. There was a great ongoing story a few years ago in the old forum as well. Several people got involved, I think it went on for a few months. Hmmm what was that called? Does anyone remember? It was an island story...coco, you were around then, do you recall?

Hey Ver, what was that island story called? You started it, you and sing and morph wrote a lot, along with others, and me as a guest dolphin swimming around...do you remember?

What a great group, huh guys?! We really have a lot of fun on this forum.

Sharrhan:


[www.facebook.com]

swimmer Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Thanks guys! I had fun!
>
> kwan, cool, Those are fun. Gonna have to search
> for the Codex Chronicles.
>
> We should do another. There was a great ongoing
> story a few years ago in the old forum as well.
> Several people got involved, I think it went on
> for a few months. Hmmm what was that called? Does
> anyone remember? It was an island story...coco,
> you were around then, do you recall?
>
> Hey Ver, what was that island story called? You
> started it, you and sing and morph wrote a lot,
> along with others, and me as a guest dolphin
> swimming around...do you remember?

.. the thread that brought me to this forum.. a fantastic story set in the imaginary land of Frangiopanni (sp?).. teriteloking (sp?) too!

ooh, i remember that one! is anyone good with the search option? i suck at that but i'd love to see that thread resurrected. unless it got lost in the archives explosion, that would be sad. but a chance to write another one! yay!

*wipes tears from her eyes*

Man did I need a good laugh; Swimmer, thank you! You must do this again...

Bravo!!! Great story!!!!

Here it is: James Bond is fighting Codex....

flash

Ah, this brings back fond memories! Love this gem from LaVeronique, whose knack for turning a phrase is an inspiration to us all:

"oh yeah, for those of you who don't know, Kwan (amongst other raw aficionados on this board and elsewhere) has her pulse on the going on's of Codex (evil infiltrators of the Raw Eden) and is fighting for our right to have raw foods RAW, instead of it being IRRADIATED by Prozac popping, "Monoply is my favorite game" playin', "let's kiss up to big Pharma" , hamburger guzzling, french fries nuzzling , Mc Codex."

Sharrhan:


[www.facebook.com]

Clap clap clap (standing ovation)!

Wow, I'm glad you guys like it!

kwan Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Ah, this brings back fond memories! Love this gem
> from LaVeronique, whose knack for turning a phrase
> is an inspiration to us all:
>
> "oh yeah, for those of you who don't know, Kwan
> (amongst other raw aficionados on this board and
> elsewhere) has her pulse on the going on's of
> Codex (evil infiltrators of the Raw Eden) and is
> fighting for our right to have raw foods RAW,
> instead of it being IRRADIATED by Prozac popping,
> "Monoply is my favorite game" playin', "let's kiss
> up to big Pharma" , hamburger guzzling, french
> fries nuzzling , Mc Codex."

I tip my melon rind hat to the superior writing skills of the delightfully inspirational LaVeronique!

Hmmm maybe I should p.m. her about starting a new collaborative effort that we can all join in.



loeve Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

> .. the thread that brought me to this forum.. a
> fantastic story set in the imaginary land of
> Frangiopanni (sp?).. teriteloking (sp?) too!



Frangiopanni! Yes that's real close. I wonder if we can find it on one of those web archive sites...I'll start looking...

BUMP!