I have been raw for 2 1/2 years and have two teenage boys and a very active husband. They like their meat and potatoes. Although they are fairly supportive of my raw journey I am finding it difficult to maintain "family" dinners. I find I am cooking for them and then while they eat, I finish preparing my own meal. We seem to have lost the family dinner feel. At times I wonder if I am sacrificing too much to stay raw. How do others deal with this?

if they are teenagers is there somereason they cant help you with more of the cooking chores or some of the prep while you make your own food so you can all at least sit down together?

or perhaps they can wait a bit so you can join them? it seems kinda rude to be snarffing dinner while you slave away in the kitchen and miss out on family time

the last thing id be doing is reconsidering raw just because my family is stuck in some 50's time warp of mom doin all the work, while they sit waiting for the feast to roll in

...Jodi, the banana eating buddhist

Agree with Jodi. I'm unmarried and childless, but became a vegetarian many years ago when there were other people in the household and I helped cook. If I'd always served the meat eaters first and myself last, because I was still at my preparation, then:

a.) someone would've said, "we refuse to eat until you are ready to sit with us," and that would've been the new model, or
b.) someone would've jumped up to help so we could all eat in unison, or
c.) I'd have kept everyone's plates back until everyone's food was ready, as I do at holidays

Otherwise, that would've been about a decade and a half, so far, that I'd have been eating in isolation while everyone else was carrying their empty plates to the sink. Not family-like, and also, not my fault.

If I were you, I'd just appeal to them amiably, saying, "hey guys, do you think you could give me a hand with x, y, or z?" That would help you to sit down at the same time as they, but also actually involve them in your dietary regimen, rather than supporting it from a distance. Plus, it would teach the boys the important life skill of food preparation, which I equate to knowing how to tie one's shoes. Forgive me if they already know how to do this and help out in the kitchen; I don't get that from your post.

Lastly, take some time to prepare food the day before for yourself, like washing a couple of days worth of lettuce and other salad ingredients, or fruits, and storing them in air tight containers in the fridge. That way, you'll only have to plate stuff with everyone else's food. Good luck!

Thanks for the responses. I guess I'm just a control freak. I really need to let go and demand that they help out. I really am a "modern woman" in that I work full time (teach physical and health education at the high school level) I play and sing in two bands, I run, do yoga and lift weights. I eat well and have a good relationship with my husband. My children are happy and successful. Sometimes I just find it easier to do it all myself than try to convince them of the merits of chopping vegetables for me. I know that is abismal, so I am going to make that my summer project. Get the boys to learn to prepare food! Who knows, it could turn into more great family time. Wish me luck.

good luck with it

they are teenagers, no reason why they cant prep meals...

otherwise perhaps make a meal for alll then let them prepare their cooked extras. ie. do raw mexican night..or noodles and pasta sauce..then they can prep up meat, heat the sauce, put cheese out or whatever.. not your problem, you have put out a lovely meal.. easy enough for them to add their bits if they want something different- then you are not sacrificing a family meal

ya see ! all that goin on and a hungry tribe sitting around at home waiting to get waited on lol

i know what ya mean about sometimes its easier to do it yourself but look at it this way , they need to learn these skills before they go off to college or some future daughter in law of yours is gonna be doing them same thing as you

every boy should know how to make some basic meals, sort laundry , and clean a toilet (as well as put the seat down!) =p

...Jodi, the banana eating buddhist

> or perhaps they can wait a bit so you can join
> them? it seems kinda rude to be snarffing dinner
> while you slave away in the kitchen and miss out
> on family time
>
> the last thing id be doing is reconsidering raw
> just because my family is stuck in some 50's time
> warp of mom doin all the work, while they sit
> waiting for the feast to roll in


lol. That's the impression I got from the post too. That's one of the reasons I have no interest in ever being "married', the thought of being one of those women slaving away in the kitchen makes me puke. I know some enjoy it but I wouldn't.

Look into getting the kids/husband something like a Foreman grill. Easiest thing to use and they can cook whatever meat they want while you're making your raw foods. Men usually love those things and college kids use those in dorm rooms.

This is a great question, and something that I have been dealing with for some time. Less often lately, everyone in my family seems to be so busy these days, we often don't sit down together any more, so good for you that you are able to work at this!

I had a few tricks I would practice. One thing I would do in the summer was to encourage my hubby or son to get busy on the BBQ. That way, I could concentrate on making all sorts of raw salads and things, and as long as there was one plate of (unmentionable) food on the table that he made, nobody felt like I was being overbearing. Sometimes, I would just make myself a smoothie and sip on it while making everyone else's food, but that usually meant I wouldn't be eating with them. I also like to use the crock pot a lot for the cooked portion of my meals. That frees me up to spend my quality time in the kitchen on the good healthy stuff. And everyone who knows me raves about my salads.

My family is pretty accustomed to me setting out two or three raw food dishes and one cooked SAD recipe on the table at any given time. So for the most part, they are much more raw than they realize. In fact, I often compliment my hubby on how much he loves his salads. And my best friend is completely amazed at the quantity of fruit my son eats.

what would happen if you stopped frying up their meat?

would they stop loving you?
would they get mad at you?

what would happen?

would you feel like you are losing control?

seems like you feel like you are losing control now rather than being in control

i don't know how much control i would feel if i were frying up a big hunk of dead flesh which i know is harmful to health to my loved ones

i am not trying to be rude

just calling a spade a spade

My two sons are some of the best cooks I know. Tell 'em girls love men who can cook -- it's true!!! Let them help plan meals, too. Those two things should help motivate them.

Guys like guys who can cook (or make raw food!) too!!!

Try my recipes they look and taste cooked! [www.Rawinten.com]