My advice: Read everything you can (but don't overload your brain) then follow your heart. An informed choice is a conscious choice.

I work with a woman whose favorite breakfast is a couple of butter and white sugar sandwiches on white bread, washed down with a fluorescent colored Slurpee. She is pregnant. I can't imagine what her child's brain is going to be made from. Sure, some people say that all children need is love. But, I think some fresh produce now and then really helps.

Anything you do with bill a thousand times better than what most people do.

Aloha Bobati,

People come to this site for support, not to be scolded. There are probably more unplanned pregnancies than there are planned ones...I was unplanned, unwanted... a "mistake", but I sure am glad to be here just like the millions of other "mistakes". In reading through the above posts, I don't think that anyone is congratulating her on the circumstances of the conception, but more because she has decided to nurture the life within her. This is a life changing decision, why shouldn't people offer support and kindness? The fact that she is here researching ways to stay healthy during her pregnancy should be supported.

You say "congratulating her and sugarcoating it up isn't going to help her make responsible choices in the future". Are you suggesting that berating her and instilling sadness and regret for something that is already done would be more helpful?

You seem very angry to me and i wonder why you have taken it upon yourself to be the provider of an unsolicited "reality check".


Allone01, you are going to do great! There are so many amazing moms on this site... you are in great company!

Greg

Aloha Nui Loa,

Greg

A great many people think they are thinking when they are really rearranging their prejudices. - William James

There is no pill that can be swallowed,
There is no guru, that can be followed, - Michael Franti (Pray For Grace)

The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of rebellion. - Albert Camus

word brother.

most conceptions are "accidents" and most parents don't feel "ready". big whoop. this is how the majority of babies come to be and, will wonders never cease, it's exactly as nature intended. judging and reprimanding people adds nothing, absolutely nothing. what are we to do here, revisit all of our past mistakes in the hope of... what? shaming each other? what do we accomplish with that? it does not change the present circumstances and it certainly doesn't motivate people to do better.

it is a fine thing to make the best of the situation you find yourself in. to not only accept it but to Love it and be positive that it is exactly what you were destined for. be it "good" or "bad" in your perception. the universe is unfolding as it should.

hey coco and maui greg

that is very nicely and beautifully said

Here Here to coco and Greg!!

Thanks Coco and Greg. You said what I couldn't.

I totally agree with you.


Unplanned Lee

seconding the love and joy directed at the 'unplanned'-

from one unplanned child
with another unplanned child in arms
and one 'almost' planned child in utero

c'mon- even when you're consciously 'trying,' it's still a huge surprise. and shift. and what sort of parent you are and the relationship you have with your child has nothing to do with 'preparedness' or how many classes you've taken, or what your intellectual ideas of parenting are- it's all about learning and loving as you go. it's about giving yourself to your child, and loving them. it's about a lot more than just 'wanting' a child, or having a child to 'fulfill you.'

sometimes accidents are the best things that happen in your life.

i'll keep all mine, thank you- the one i married at 20, the one i had at 25, all the little ones in between that led me to raw foods and the person i am now.

i rejoice that my reason and my power is not the sole force in my life,
and i rejoice in the joy of living
in this crazy and beautiful world

and that all of you are here too!!!

peace-

mama cass:

<<i rejoice that my reason and my power is not the sole force in my lif>>

that is very profound
i'm going to think about that

(once again)

Mama Cass that is such a precious shot of you and your little one...



My website: The Coconut Chronicles

there ARE no accidents. no unplanned pregnancies. just decisions (agreements, really, between your soul and the soul of your child) you aren't fully conscious of.

allone01 you are the perfect mom for your baby. and you are walking the path you are meant to walk, together. congratulations and big cosmic hugs to you as you embark on this important, exciting, joyfull, challenging, metamorphasizing journey called motherhood. hang on, its a crazy ride! (i hope you like rollercoasters...)

People are congratulating her because shes pregnant, not because she wants her baby to be raw.
"People come to this site for support, not to be scolded."
Really? I saw several people scold the guy who asked about raw fish....

What is your point exactly? you obviously have issues with people having babies, if you insist on being bothered by this i suggest that you avoid threads about pregnancy and conception.

as for the fish thread, this is a vegan site and that is what the poster was told. someone who wants to discuss eating flesh should do it elsewhere. but that has Nothing at all to do with this topic so, again, what is your point?

Bobati,

You know, for most of my life, I couldn't stand children. I hated hearing them cry, I hated being around them, I saw them only as a burden--this had a lot to do with my childhood, specifically with my mother. Interestingly, it wasn't until I went completely raw (or started filling my body with only living things, just embracing life in general), that I experienced a spontaneous emotional healing, without even trying. It was like I was able to forgive my inner child, and start nourishing it with all the love it needed years in the past. Even if I just started with caring for my body, the intention multiplied and echoed in a lot of ways throughout my whole self. It deepened my appreciation for life in ways I could have never expected, and reminded me of my connection with everyone else (we all have it, it's ever-present) in ways I wouldn't have been able to previously understand.

It's very mystical, in a way, and I'm still in the process of understanding it. Children love me, now, everywhere I go--I see a lot of them with my job, and they all reach out to me, want to touch me, talk to me--something that NEVER happened before, and something that would have made me horribly uncomfortable in the past. It's like my heart is open, and they all notice right away.

I used to swear I'd never want kids, but now I hear the bells ringing. It's tough, because while I've been with my boyfriend for a long time and he's very family-positive (another great reinforcement for me, perhaps the old me), financially, it isn't time. There is a part of me, though, that can't wait to just dive into the love, the joy, the life. I feel like I am being called, now.

There is nothing more important than giving children love--they ARE our future--and there is nothing more honorable than anyone who will commit full-time to that cause, whether it was planned or not. Love is what made us, it's what nourishes us, and kids are just a huge reminder of that. And there's plenty of love to be had in the world, and plenty of love you can give to yourself (I used to be a very self-punishing type), and it can be found literally anywhere! It is our birthright.

With peace and love,
Phantom

"Love is what made us, it's what nourishes us, and kids are just a huge reminder of that. And there's plenty of love to be had in the world, and plenty of love you can give to yourself (I used to be a very self-punishing type), and it can be found literally anywhere! It is our birthright."

bravo phantom. that's the best valentine's day message i ever read.

Beautiful post, Phantom!

phantom

that is so beautiful and very touching what u said

what a joy to read it

Right on Phantom!!


Me (30), Joseph (24 mo.) Jeremiah (4 mo.)

We are enjoying spring and being outside!!!

well to answer your question, i chose not to wear a condom because they aggervate my vagina. its very uncomfortable. Stds were of no concern because i have been with my boyfriend for five years and we are monogomous. i was using the lunar method to try and avoid pregnancy, but that obviously didnt work. I am a person that moves with the wind. I am not angry or sad or even regret that i am going to have a baby, i am just here for support in my eating habits. I also know that other people like to be informed on raw food and there is not a lot of information out there about raw food and pregnacy. I understnd where you are coming from, i thought the same thing when a friend of mine got pregnant, but there is no reason for me to dwell on the fact that i didnt use a condom because there is no way i would throw out my child like a styrofoam cup like everyone else who thinks that the conveineince of abortion is so nice.

but on to something new. I have learned that the body must be balanced in ph. about 7 is ideal. to concieve and carry a baby a female needs to be more acidic than alkaline. she normally is anyway due to that reason. most fruits and vegetables are alkaline. while cooked foods and meats are acid forming. I think this may have something to do with my cavings of cooked food, and my body rejecting fruits (throwing them up). just some info ive read in the book called "Yes, No, Maybe" about chronobiotic nutrition ( eating food at a certain time of day when it gets the most sunlight). tree fruits would be morning, bush and vine and animals would be evening, and roots and sea foods are night. its very interesting and it works with every type of diet out there... from atkins, to raw

The information about pH is fascinating, thank you for sharing. It is great that you come here looking for advice. But I wouldn't make such a quick judgement about abortion being a "nice convenience"--at my work I see many, many people who were not emotionally and/or financially ready to have their children. They were not ready and have created a toxic, often emotionally abusive relationship for their children. Or maybe they are emotionally ready but can't afford to live in anything but a cramped closet with mold and insects--not healthy either. For them, the more emotionally mature choice would be to admit they are not ready to have a child. But instead they think it will be something they can boss around, or a fun toy (like a doll) and have it anyway. Clearly this is not you, you are ready to be loving and doing a great job informing yourself. But I would reserve judgement about people who are not ready to have babies. It is not an easy or convenient decision to make.

I hope you continue to share your journey since there is so little information out there. The majority of us are happy and interested to hear what happens.

yeah i agree with rost

i have YET to meet a single woman out there whose spirit did not die a little (or a LOT) after they have had an abortion

and these people were pro life... and they STILL feel a heartbreak over the fact that a potential life was lost

putting the scientific/religious controversy of when is a life a LIFE aside, it seems like EVERY woman finds that decision a bit shattering

no matter WHERE she stands

but i don't think allone was really saying that abortion was easy

i think she was just affirming her decision to remain strong, and be the best mother possible by being loving to herself and getting all the right information

this thread is awesome- i just found out i am pregnant today so this offered me a lot of answers. allone01, it sounds like you and i are in similar places. congratulations.