I am currently nursing my 2 month old infant and thinking of the future. Does anyone have experience nursing beyond 12 months? How about beyond 3 years? I've heard that may be healthy, but feel weird at the idea of a talking child nursing at my breast. But I don't doubt that is simply a cultural view. How do you hold an older child to breastfeed? Do they sit on your lap and look at you? Do they have memories of your breasts later in life and does this disturb them? I fully support mothers who breastfeed beyond the social norm (at least the norm in the West). I am just curious about all these things for a Western child, as I seek to determine how long I should breastfeed.

I ended up nursing one of my children for about three years. I thought she was going to be my last child and I felt the child needed to be nursed for that long. Because it is not socially acceptable one should be aware of this and nurse in private when they get older. It is easier to not have to explaine your reasoning with people who shouldnt be pushing their ideas on child rearing any way. My daughter is 22 now and very smart and functional adult. Nursing did not effect her in any adverse way. When it came time to stop nursing I just had a talk with her and explained to her she was eating food and had no need for nursing any longer. She was understanding about this when she was three and the nursing stopped. From what I remember I only nursed her at bedtime and perhaps one other time during the day. It is unfortunate that things are so rushed and regimented concerning our babies. There is some timetable someone wrote saying things have to be done a certain way I am just a little different and feel that timetable needs to be broken and we need to take things one day at a time. ONe of my children just decided she did'nt want to nurse any more and that was that. Each child is to be delt with accordingly. Everybody has different needs. Just go with the flow.

nursed little until he was 3.5, he would have gone on too but my boobehs were getting tired. the world average is 5, 2 years is very young to many cultures.

when i was in india and nepal it wasnt uncommon to see 4 and 5 year olds still on the boobeh (thanks coco )

i think our stuffy north american culture really is a detriment to the children .. you should do whatever feels right to you and your child in my opinion and not worry about outside thoughts and influence as long as you are healthy and happy with it and the child is healthy and happy with it then do what suits you both

...Jodi, the banana eating buddhist

You are all correct. I nursed mine till the age of 3 years + 10 months. He just stopped wanting it. For the last year, he would nurse maybe once or twice per day and some days not at all. He is now in his late teens and does not seem to have any breast-related issues any more than a child would have issues about anything else he or she did when very young, so long as he expressed no desire for it.

My daughter is 2 and a half now and still nurses. The first thing I would say is not to think about the future too much. I know at first breastfeeding seems like a daunting task at 2 months I just did not know how I would make it to the first year and beyond. Well at about three months breastfeeding becomes much easier. I stopped having issues with leaking and my daughter did not need to nurse as often. By 6 months an infant can go for really long periods of time without nursing, by 11 months I had a part-time job I did not need to pump, my daughter could go 6 or more hours, sometimes almost an entire day without nursing. Taking things one day at a time and just dealing with what my daughter needed right at the moment helped me do things this long.

As far as the whole breastfeeding a toddler thing, it really isn't that complicated. Sometimes my daughter stands while nursing, while I am sitting at my computer. Sometimes she sits on my lap, not really looking at me...sometimes she lays on my lap like a baby, because she is still pretty small. Sometimes I think to myself it is kind of odd to have a child who can talk still nursing, but then again she doesn't get why she should stop or doesn't understand why there would be anything wrong with it. Another thing is I read on the La Leche League website about how biologically children really should be breastfeeding until as old as 6 years of age. I really just think of all the benefits when it comes to natural immunity, even the cancer preventing aspects of breastmilk and how I wouldn't really want to take that away from my child until she is ready. I also know of people who breastfed their children until they were 5 years old. The longer I seem to the nurse the more people come out of the wood work and admit they did extended breastfeeding too. I also hear more people tell me "I wish my mom would have breastfed me so I could have gotten all the health benefits", then people saying they have weird nursing memories. Also with any method of attachment parenting, the idea is that by giving an infant or toddler what they need when they need it, it actually prevents problems related to gratification because there becomes a secure attachment between parent and child. Where as an infant who was not breastfed or a child who was weaned at an early age had the desire for being breastfed not fulfilled, they continue to search for ways to fill that need. A breastfed child had that need filled, so they can move on.

nursing small girl just yesterday while she was gazing soulfully into my eyes, it was simply lovely. she asks me for bee-boo whenever she wants a little quiet, undivided mama time and she's so pleased when she gets it. she deserves a place where she is safe and cared for unquestioningly and the boobeh time is it for her. a bottle couldn't ever touch that experience i'm afraid. i feel sad for all those babies who get the plastic nipple. sad for the mamas too.

Coco, it just breaks my heart when I see a baby crying in the grocery store and the mom just pops a pacifier in the infants mouth.

Those plugs they stick into babies' mouths are just repulsive! People will send me pictures of their grandchildren and half the face is obscured with those ugly things, and no one seems to think, "...er, isn't something wrong here?"

There are some good authoritative books about breastfeeding.
I would recommend reading one of those.
Whereas this is outside of my area of expertise, I do have some friends who breastfeed their toddlers, and it seems to be a very healthy thing to do.

If you post a reply to this message and would like my feedback, it would be best to send me a private message to that effect. Otherwise, I may not check this thread for a while.

***Info from the advisors at HealthNVitality***

have to say, at the end of my rope with an incessantly crying baby my first time round i was darn glad to have a pacifier to give him. he was a non-sleeping, non-stop screamer and he wanted to suck all the time, and i do mean All The Time. without that little rubber mother i would never have been able to leave the house! i'd put him into the baby carrier (facing front, facing inwards resulted in an unbelievable crying jag) and give him that dummy and a-walking we would go... it's amazing the things you find yourself doing once you become a parent. so many of them you swore up and down you'd never, ever touch.
thankfully this one loves her thumb. really, nothing could make me happier. i don't think one parent can handle two babies like my first. i swear, i aged 10 years in two!

Ive heard some stories about extended breast-feeding. In the news there was a woman who breast fed her 8 yr old son....of course people were freaked out. I did think it a bit strange....but if theyre both happy with it, and everything else in their life is balanced...why not.
Ive also heard of men breastfeeding (men producing milk) It IS possible! Very interesting stories online about it. Google it! Someday when I adopt a child, if theyre still an infant, Id love to be able to breastfeed. Yes I know...sounds weird, but why else would men also have mammary glads?
I guess it can be stimulated by using a breast pump for several weeks (with the emotional bond with your child also influencing you) The cases I read about, the wife had died and the husband just started producing. Sortof natures way of taking care....

heres a link!

[www.unassistedchildbirth.com]

coco Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> have to say, at the end of my rope with an
> incessantly crying baby my first time round i was
> darn glad to have a pacifier to give him. he was a
> non-sleeping, non-stop screamer and he wanted to
> suck all the time, and i do mean All The Time.
> without that little rubber mother i would never
> have been able to leave the house! i'd put him
> into the baby carrier (facing front, facing
> inwards resulted in an unbelievable crying jag)
> and give him that dummy and a-walking we would
> go... it's amazing the things you find yourself
> doing once you become a parent. so many of them
> you swore up and down you'd never, ever touch.
> thankfully this one loves her thumb. really,
> nothing could make me happier. i don't think one
> parent can handle two babies Itlike my first. i
> swear, i aged 10 years in two!


It is not for me to tell anybody to never, ever use a pacifier. I do find it objectionable that those ugly things are used as a matter of course, as opposed to when they are really needed, as in your case. As they say, there's a proper use for everything that exists. Even repulsive pacifiers. I do believe what you say about aging 10 years in two. I do wonder why your baby was crying all the time. Sounds like a chronic hunger issue, maybe? Just guessing.

I don't think so, I made tons and of lovely fatty milk and he nursed lots. Sometimes so much he'd spit it up just to start over again (not a usual thing for him, just loved to suck). He has been a needy little thing since day one though, at 8 years old he's still got a ton of the personality he came out with. I mean, much less crying of course but still super whiney a lot of the time. Don't get me wrong, he's very lovely and helpful and interesting and great but when he has an emotional moment it's pure whine. He only stopped being awful when he learned to walk and then much better when he could finally talk. I think he just hated being helpless and was miserable until he could get around and say what he wanted. Now he wants me to help him with everything though so I don't get it.

I saw a three year old with a rubber sucky stuck in his gob just today actually. He was running about talking around that horrid thing, makes you wonder why his parents still give it to him. Surely it's going to affect his speach if he's learning to talk with it in his mouth like that. Strange.

I think the most important thing, concerning nursing a toddler, is your attitude about it.

If YOU act like there is something 'wrong' with nursing your toddler, then your child will pick up on that, and might have some later life issues concerning how he/she was parented. If your attitude is loving, nurturing, and natural, then he/she should grow up without any sort of 'issue' concerning being breastfed.

I've known lots of families where the babies were nursed up until about 3 years old, more/less, and it was just normal.

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