oh sachelle...how come you always have such insightful comments? so true, of course. short term goals are what give us a sense of fulfillment. so i'd really like to be 100% tomorrow. but i'll go one meal at a time.

today i had,

a banana/strawberry/almond milk smoothie for breakfast
clover sprouts, spinach, and zucchini salad for lunch
a banana, strawberries, some tahini, almond milk all mashed up like pudding (YUM)
then...
dum dum dum...
chocolate covered macadamia nuts (chocolate is my weakness. however, that was the last remaining chocolate in the house...)
a piece of amy's spinach pizza

feeling a bit like a failure...but i think that earthangel's advice is needed. if i just aim for ONE solid 100% day...then it will happen. yarg.


i'm loving fruit right now. and i'm so not hungry....hm. oh well. no more chocolate, no more chocolate!

Hey love guess what? You had 2 out of 3 amazing raw meals!!! that is awesome..plus raw snacks.that is great!!! you did awesome today!!!! i am proud ofyou...you got through most f the day raw....yay you.....
okay so you need some raw cacao powder to make some yummy desserts that are chocolatey and deslicious (not coco puffs either haha) you should order some from nature's first law........then you can make some yummy fudge balls..get some powder ordered or see if they have it anywhere around yoU!! it is soo worth it especially if you love chocolate..you can add it to shakes..puddings..(avo's with a little agave or stevia and some cacoa powder and little water the best chocolate pudding EVER) so you see there is hope for chocolate lovers everywhere
good luck and keep up the good work you are doing great..don't get down on yourself..i didn't see anything wrong with your day...and the pizza was healthya nd organic amy's!!! she rocks in the ocoked world
love always sach
xoxoxoxoxo

Much peace and love!!!
EarthAngel
Xoxo

hey!!!!!!! it's all about small goals, definetely. What helped me was thinking about each meal and how I can make it the best food ever, just that one meal though. I wouldn't focus on the whole day and what I'd be eating or the next week or month and how I have to be 100%. So If I was hungry I'd find something I really want to eat that's raw and not high in fat, sit down and take my time eating it and enjoying it. I found this helped me slow down and think about using my time more wisely too. It's a push towards living in the moment and making today the best day eva!!!!!!!!!!! hehe So how you doing today? Chocolate and peanut butter is my downfall, yup chocolate will talk to you I swear, eat me eat me!!! nooooooo haha

hey hun how was your day?? just chekcing in with you!!! hope all is well with yoU!! take care hun
love ya sach
xxoxoxoxoxo

Much peace and love!!!
EarthAngel
Xoxo

hey buttercup what's up??? just saying hi and checking for the day..hope you had a wonderful day!!! talk to you soon take care
love ya
xoxoxoxoxo

Much peace and love!!!
EarthAngel
Xoxo

hey i'm back, yay!

noff, living in the moment is such a great thing to strive for. raw has definitely taken steps toward that for me...but i definitely want to be even more in the moment. it's so easy to not appreciate the week because you're anticipating the weekend...spending the present focused on the future. living in the present is such a great thing.

earthangel, thanks for checking up on me i love that even when i haven't been on in a day or so, you still leave me messages! you do such a great job of giving support and showing that you care. i love you! ...and raw cacao powder sounds ammmazing! i got some 70% pure dark chocolate...and i ate a little bit of that, so hopefully i'll wean myself away from the bad kind of chocolate and move on over to the good kind. that chocolate pudding will probably be my new favorite food. i can't wait to try it also - i got the natalie rose book and i am absolutely loving it!!! thanks so much for telling me about it.

sort of crazy couple days...had a good mother's day though, which is good. my mom has a really bad cold we also went by a good friend's graduation party...which was really nice. i ran into a couple people i went to high school with...and actually a couple high school teachers, but all in all, a really nice time.

sunday, i slipped up food-wise. i had a really good day until that graduation party...and then i ate (yep, you guessed it!) chocolate cake! figures, right? it all makes sense now though, because I started my period today...my cycle's been off recently, but at least i know why i was so chocolate obsessed haha


today on the other hand...AMAZING. i really wanted to be 90% or above today, and i totally was!!!! i was out of bananas which was a bummer...i really missed bananas. this was the first time i realized just how much i like bananas haha

ok, food today:
mango
strawberries
pecans and dried cranberries
salad (mostly lettuce, tomato, cucumber)
honey mustard dressing
1 square of 70% dark chocolate
(also, coffee and tea sweetened w/ stevia)


so! i'm quite happy. i got my natalie rose book! i'm reading it...really interesting. thank you so much for the recommendation, earthangel! i also went out to dinner with a few of my high school friends...and just got a salad!!! yay for that they wanted me to split a dessert with them, but i passed.

seeing my high school friends was kind of strange. especially since they were my "best" friends, but i barely know them now. plus, we were so cliquey and superficial...i feel like i barely know them. it was alright though... my roommate was there too... she and i didn't speak, but we coexisted thru dinner. it was also strange for me to realize that they no longer had any control over my life or my life choices.... it no longer matters if they like what i do or what i say or if they think somebody is weird. one guy from our group was sarcastically said, "have fun with god" when i was leaving...which kind of hurt my feelings. i have changed a lot from high school, and i don't drink...and i have rededicated my life to Christ, but i'm still nice...probably nicer than i was before. So i guess i was just kind of hurt. still, they don't have any influence on my life anymore... i want to stay on good terms with them, but my life is my own.


......

raw really does help me take control of my life.

yay. hope all of y'all are well...

Hey sweetie of course i will always be here for you!! right here on your diary haha everday checking in....so proud of you for reading the book and using it..and i knew you would love dark chocolate recommendations too ...you are adorable!! i am soo glad you stuck with what you believe and kept it cool when he said that..i want to yell at him for you for being rude..but oh well!!! we live and learn..one day he will realize that he really missed out!!! (on life and living from drinking) believe me i was a BIG drinker before raw..borderline alcoholic (okay alcoholic probably) but i am better i gave up drinking so far..but if the occasion arrises i might have a drink..but am nervous and only if i wanted to not from pressure) so i know where you are coming from!!! take care hun..you are doing wonderful and i am truly happy for you and sooo proud of yoU!!!
love ya tons!
xoxoxoxoxoxo

Much peace and love!!!
EarthAngel
Xoxo

thanks earthangel i really feel like great things are happening in my life. raw is such a big help...and giving bad habits, especially out of control ones, whether eating or drinking, is hard but worth it. having control of your life is necessary in order to live it. cheers to living!


well, thanks to my new raw book, i'm learning a lot about food combining...which makes a lot of sense. i improperly combined dinner...and i definitely could tell. so now i know what to avoid let's see, the book also really emphasized taking time to transition...and it said that going 100% before your body has time to transition has negative effects. does that just mean detox symptoms? = /

so today i woke up feeling really refreshed and good! yay for yesterday

today i ate
2 bananas (yay that i have bananas again!)
strawberries
a date
a handful of nuts and dried fruit
1/2 piece of whole grain bread with cheese
spinach salad w/ sprouts
hot chocolate (2 sq. of chocolate heated and melted in 1/3 almond milk, 2/3 milk)


so dinner consisted of the bread, cheese, and spinach salad. basically, the book had been talking about what a no-no milk was...and boy, could i tell! i felt so gassy and bloated....unfortunately, i ran out of almond milk and wanted hot chocolate anyway... i'm getting more almond milk tomorrow though. so that's it for dairy...shew, it sure did not feel good.

anyway love love and i'll talk to you soon

hey dear!! yay you for transitioning and doing it one step at a time..that helps some people..and yes the negative effects are the detox symptoms and withdrawals from certain foods people crave..but for me if i am allowed any cooked i get confused with what percentage i am and i am like okay so am i 99 or 80 or what?/ and then i am like oh for goodness sake i am not raw today i something cookd..and negative thoughts creep up so i am better off 100%...you get more detox symptoms and stronger with 100 instead of transition but hey as long as you are doing it doens't matter how you get therej ust get there right?? haha
yay for you doing so well!! you shouldmake your own almond milk so it is raw!!!! that is the best almond milk. you usually have to make your own unless you have an awesome juice bar that will make you some raw milk..you just soak the almonds...then blend them with twice the water..and strain...(i use a pantyhose haha) and you have the most amazing raw almond milk...or use cashews or something as well!!!!
well good luck hun and have a wonderful day!!
love ya sach
xooxoxoxoxoxo

Much peace and love!!!
EarthAngel
Xoxo

hey!
Yeah I know what you mean about seeing old friends and feeling distant, change is constant and sometimes you only see how much you've changed when your're confronted with the past. What book are you reading? Have a great day!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey sweets how was your day today?? beautiful i am sure and full of raw joy
take care and have a wonderful day tomorrow!! talk to you soon!
love ya sach
xoxoxoxoxo

Much peace and love!!!
EarthAngel
Xoxo

back sorry for the disconnect...i'm trying to get a new job. which is not easy b/c i just want a summer job, and i can't start until june 15ish... bah. not so fun really. no prospects as of yet and the pool i used to lifeguard at doesn't want me if i can't start earlier than that. i need some luck

yesterday was pretty decent, around 85%. my mom sauteed some mushrooms and spinach and then made some sort of lentil pasta? she talked me in to trying it...bad idea. the pasta just did not sit well.

today, i had
a mango
1 banana and almond butter
chocolate (hershey's )
salad (baby spinach, romaine, lettuce, avo, sprouts)

ah...well, i hope all is well w/ you guys. and i'll be posting more soon hopefully. wish me luck with the job hunt...

hey hun...you are doing really good...don't be hard on yourself...a little cooked meal and all raw is a wonderful day!!! it is better then Mcdonalds all day or a meal from taco bell ...or something similar...no sonics haha....so be happy and proud of yourself you are doing great!!! keep up the good work...and don' worry keep the faith you will find a good job that will be perfect for yoU!!!
goodluck
take care
love earthangel
xoxoxoxoxo

Much peace and love!!!
EarthAngel
Xoxo

hey there! glad to see you are doing well and learning a lot! it's great that you feel in control of your life now- i feel that way, too. just kind of at peace with myself and no longer influenced by others. it's sad that it takes us so long to get to that place, but hey, some people never get there!

i hope you find a summer job soon. just keep thinking positive thoughts and i know you will find something!

Hey beth just wanted to stop by say hello and see how your weekend was going?? i hope all is well with you and you are relaxing and enjoying the day!!! any news on a job yet?? hmm what about a store like a health food store or healthy grocery store??? you would always know the ins and outs of the produce world..and you can usually get good discounts...plus all of the neat people you would meet both customers and others in a health food type store
i am sure you already thought of this...just i would throw it out anyway
good luck hun!!
love earthangel
xoxoxoxoxo

Much peace and love!!!
EarthAngel
Xoxo

hey hun..how are things going?? i hope all is well..tomorrow starts the job hunt again huh?? wlel good luck and let us know how things are going!!
love sach
xoxoxoxoxo

Much peace and love!!!
EarthAngel
Xoxo

I'm in the same spot as you with the job searching. It's no fun!!! I'll be gone a few weeks in the middle of summer and so I'm not ideal for summer hire either. oh well. Hey so how are you doin with that lively spirit of yours?

Hey happy monday to you beth!!!!! i hope all is well with you!!! take care and good luck today job hunting love!!!
love sach
xoxoxoxoxoxox

Much peace and love!!!
EarthAngel
Xoxo

hi!!!!!!!!!!!


i missed you guys!!!! it's so nice to come back and feel missed, especially since i've been feeling sort of down on myself this weekend...well, i'm from the south - home to fried chicken, mashed potatoes, and strawberry cobbler. on saturday, my brother's in-laws wanted to go to dinner with our family. so we went, and we went to a family style homecooking restaurant. and i didn't speak up so i ate all cooked. i tried to not eat a lot, and compared to my old fully cooked self, i really didn't eat that much---but i've been bloated and sort of down in the dumps ever since. i'm bloated now...and up about 3 lbs from where i was, which is a major bummer

still, each day is a new day. today, my old boss called me (from the pool) and offered me a job lifeguarding. i took it so at least i have that. i also have an appointment with Zaloo's Canoes to work in their office part-time. so, jobwise - yay!

i'm visiting my family in St. Louis this weekend. So, i guess the mishap on saturday was sort of a warning for things to come....i'm going to e-mail my uncle and let him know that i'm eating raw. my cousin used to be a vegan (i don't think she still is tho), so i think he'll react well.

i'm hoping that my life at home will get stabilized. i don't have that much to do right now, except for helping my mom out with household stuff. a job, a church - both of those will go a long way to helping me feel like i belong at home again.


sorry for avoiding y'all while i was being depressed about myself. i'm not used to having such genuinely awesome and supportive people around me. thank you, earthangel, noff, and meow, for having such genuine and beautiful hearts.

<3

Hey hun...oh of course we are here for you!!! you are doing great...a few detours here and there are okay...hmm how long of a drive is that from you to st. louis??? from my hometown it is like 7 hours i think..i think we are close enough to meet halfway maybe then haha unless you are flying..but you said for the weekend so it sounded like it was more of a weekend trip!! that is exciting though....and great your uncle will understand and have some things hopefully be ready!!!
take care and have fun!!
love sach
xoxoxooxxo

Much peace and love!!!
EarthAngel
Xoxo

hey!! oh, i would love to meet up with you...but since it's such a short trip, my mom and i are flying. thanks for being so awesome and positive about my 'detours' - your support has meant so much to me!


today was GOOD! didn't eat a whole lot...but, except for some hummus and some tea, totally RAW!

so i had
a pear
1 apple
big yummy lettuce salad
broccoli and hummus


and some tea wasn't feeling very hungry today...i had some nerves about seeing the people i used to work with. but i saw them. and it went pretty well. i also called a lot of people that i haven't talked to in a while. so i feel like i'm geting back on track


time to sleep. love love love!

Hey hun....of course i am supportive and there for you!!i think you are doing amazing and deserve all the encouragment and support!!!!! you are doing so well and i am soo proud of you!!! and you had a fantastic day today!!! high raw yay you!!!

keep up the awesomeness hun!! aww wish you were driving that would of been awesome ...oh well we could probably still meet sometime haha half way for a weekend or somethng..i think we need to have a raw food retreat of our own??
welll hun take care
love sach
xoxoxoxoxo

Much peace and love!!!
EarthAngel
Xoxo

hey
how is your summer going? I'm home, yay. You find a job?

hey sugar..how is the fabulous job going??? did you start yet?? how exciting huh?? and you already know the boss so that is good..you know how the system works and things....hope all is well with you!! take care hun
love ya
sach
xoxoxoxo

Much peace and love!!!
EarthAngel
Xoxo

heyyy!

i'm in st. louis. i've been catching up with the family...getting assaulted by a flock of little girls...but i'm loving every minute of it.

food wise, it's been a good vacation overall. not as raw as i would have liked, but still i've been between 60-80% which i'm pleased with since i'm on vacation. my fam has been way cooperative.

we cooked dinner for 13 people tonight...total madness. tonight...bad food combining...mostly raw, but not wholly.

i know i've gained back some of the weight i've lost. i've decided that i'm not going to weigh myself when i get home. i might start doing the once a week thing.

oh well. i'm heading to bed because we're getting breakfast at 8 (bahhhhh i don't want to get up that early)

love y'all and i'm looking forward to catching up to you when i get more time!!!!!!!1

hey sweetie!! i hope st.louis is going well!! oh you are so close to my family i wish i could be there haha....well sounds like youa re doing fantastic!! keep up the good work hun....i hope your weekend finishes as nicely as it sounds like it started!! have fun with the flock of girls
love sach
xoxoxooxoxo

Much peace and love!!!
EarthAngel
Xoxo

okay you are back from st louis and the weekend was over haha where are you?? ih ope all is well with yoU!! take care and let us know how life is going!!
love ya girlie
sach
xoxoxoxoxo

Much peace and love!!!
EarthAngel
Xoxo

oh wow, what a week.

i went to sc to visit my dad the day after i got back from st. louis...normally, this isn't a big deal because it's just like 3 hours, but this time, his wireless was out so i've been totally disconnected. my cell phone is out of service...i haven't been online in like, over a week now??

plus the whole time i was there...i did not take care of myself. i totally slipped into old habits. i binged more than humanly possible one day...and threw up for the first time in a long time. i guess that there is a silver lining to it all...

now, i see that i need to change more than my eating habits. i want to start running. being raw isn't just about weight loss for me now. it's about taking control of my life and being the girl i want to be. i've spent so long telling my self that i can't do it. i can't lose weight, i can't run very far, i can't feel good about myself, i just can't.

so maybe i needed to have that bad week to realize that it's not my life anymore. i CAN do it.


anyway, i missed y'all! sorry for disappearing. i'm going to go unpack my stuff now, but i'll check in again later.

LOVE to earthangel and noff!!!!!!!!!!!!!

you can do it.

go out and have some non food related fun, work up a sweat then have a fabulous meal. <3

I disappeared too! No worries, have a great day!

YAY YOU YAY BETH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hey sweetie! I KNEW you would be back!!! you aren't the type to give up haa...glad to see you back and ready for action.....well iam sorry you had a tough week with your dad..and that you threw up..but it did help you realize you want to change your life and get healthy and fit!! that is an awesome thing....i wish you nothing but the best and you start back down the healthy part of your journey!! keep up the good work my dear!!!
love ya
sach
xoxoxoxoxo
p.s.noff has diasppeared too we gotta get her back..i am worried

Much peace and love!!!
EarthAngel
Xoxo



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/05/2007 06:23PM by earthangel.