The company is taking all the managers out to dinner on wednesday. As far as I know it will be dim sum. So there will not be anything for me to really eat. It will all be rice and chicken, gluten products. What should I do?

eat before you go

done, finished, no drama

I'm not sure what "dim sum" means, but you can always asked for plain steamed vegetables, or pack a modest salad and bring along with you. Just ask for a plate, or bring it in a little container that you can just easily eat from. You'll be surprised at the questions and curious comments that will give you an opportunity to share. I usually hear many folks say something like - "yeah I should do something like that" or "yeah, I need to cut down on my such-in-such" or "wow, I could never do that," etc. But people will mostly ignore it and go on with the dinner and meeting. =)

*****************************
"Educate and inform the whole mass of the people... They are the only sure reliance for the preservation of our liberty."
—Thomas Jefferson

That's what they may *say*. But they might (somewhat understandably) *think*: "I hate you.", "I wish I could do that.", "The food we eat not good enough for her!"

Jealousy can be a terrible thing. So I'm definitely inclined to agree with the second poster, in fact I couldn't put it better myself.

plainlydressed Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I'm not sure what "dim sum" means, but you can
> always asked for plain steamed vegetables, or pack
> a modest salad and bring along with you. Just ask
> for a plate, or bring it in a little container
> that you can just easily eat from. You'll be
> surprised at the questions and curious comments
> that will give you an opportunity to share. I
> usually hear many folks say something like - "yeah
> I should do something like that" or "yeah, I need
> to cut down on my such-in-such" or "wow, I could
> never do that," etc. But people will mostly
> ignore it and go on with the dinner and meeting.
> =)

Whatever they are thinking privately is, quite frankly, not my problem. My body. My choice. My diet. Who GIVES a nickle what someone else is thinking and I don't CARE if they are jealous. If I am quiet and humble about my own choices and answer questions honestly, and be just as happy and social and "normal" as everyone else (despite my strange / odd food choices), then I am satisfied that I have done my best, and if anyone has a problem with that, then they have some serious issues! If I let those concerns control my eating habits and social habits, I would NEVER be able to stick to this raw diet 100% faithfully.

Something to remember - If you eat first, then you will feel even MORE conspicuous if you just sit there and eat NOTHING. In my personal experience, people wonder more about THAT than if I had something "strange" to eat.

I completely disagree with you, SI. If I let the jealousy and thoughts of others dictate my actions and choices, then I'd be a nervous wreck and never be able to stand on my own two feet! *LOL* =)

*****************************
"Educate and inform the whole mass of the people... They are the only sure reliance for the preservation of our liberty."
—Thomas Jefferson

Hellokitty

Call the restaurant and order something suitable before arrival.
I have done this many times. Very successfully. Your plate arrives with theirs. All good.
It will be fine
ffx


SuperInfinity Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> That's what they may *say*. But they might
> (somewhat understandably) *think*: "I hate you.",
> "I wish I could do that.", "The food we eat not
> good enough for her!"
>
> Jealousy can be a terrible thing. So I'm
> definitely inclined to agree with the second
> poster, in fact I couldn't put it better myself.
>
>

SuperInfinity
Who are you?
The thought police?

Your reply is not at all supportive!
This sort of nonsense will only serve to confuse /confound Hellokittys dilema!

If these are your true thoughts on the matter, fine. Maybe they are best kept to yourself.
ffx

It is not nonsense. I believe it's true that they may feel a bit threatened or inwardly envious because of HelloKitty's superior eating.

The Fruit Faery Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> SuperInfinity
> Who are you?
> The thought police?
>
> Your reply is not at all supportive!
> This sort of nonsense will only serve to confuse
> /confound Hellokittys dilema!
>
> If these are your true thoughts on the matter,
> fine. Maybe they are best kept to yourself.
> ffx

sound advice, fruit fairy!! I have done this many times when I started and always was given a fantastic meal (from cheap end restaurants to 5 star hotels)

ring ahead and ask for what you would like

TBH now I find it easier to eat and go.. enjoy peoples company.. I dont think anythings worth flaring my crohns over, so I am super careful.

Just bring a salad with you or order one there and if anyone asks reply that your presently on a diet.
I wouldn't try to share ideas of lifestyle or try to change the world but rather look to end that part of the conversation and move on to something else. If it becomes necessary, which it shouldn't, then assert yourself and repeat that your presently on a diet and could the person please accept that. Repeat your assertion until the person allows you to choose for yourself what you are going to eat. Most people are willing to respect other people's food choices and will give you that right immediately without coercion.

Yea it is not wroth flaring for. I think that it is hard for other people to understand. I don't think that they would be envious just courious. The would probly question why I am eating this way. The directors are going to be there and they may just think im not participating. They care only for the socail aspect of people.


These people don't understand about healthy eating. I remember I didn't until I got on this web page. They will just think of it as weird.

dim sum is chinesse and it comes with rice and cooked meets. sometimes wrapped in seaweed. You order different dishes so that the group can share.

If you feel uncomfortable, just tell the others you're vegan for allergy-reasons and to be on the safe side, a salad with some seaweed will be fine.

That will keep them quiet.

it may be difficult to order anything unusual over the phone as (in my experience having lived in chinatown in toronto for many years and in vancouver for a spell) most dim sum restaurants are run and staffed by people with varying degrees of language differences. that's not any kind of racially motivated comment, just my experience. asking for a plain salad will be confusing to say the least.

bring your own is what i would do and claim dietary restrictions or allergies (if you are more comfortable telling an untruth than dealing with strange looks and questions. understandable.). it's a work environment, i would want to keep it professional and not get into my personal differences. that affects the work environment imo and not always in such a beneficial way.

The hardest part of not eating in front of people, especially if you're a woman, I found is that people think you don't eat much because you're conscious about your weight. I weigh 105 pounds, and get ripped on because people think I think I need to watch my weight. Then you have to sit there and explain to them it has nothing to do with weight. I don't care if I get fat off vegetables and fruits, as long as what's going into my body is healthy. They just don't understand. You could always say you're not hungry, you had a prior appointment in which you had a lunch that left you not feeling very well but you wanted to come out for drinks. Order some tea.

[www.healthyfoodrawdiet.com]



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/20/2009 12:12AM by rawfoods.

Hellokitty Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> .....What should I do?
One thing you don't want to do is make a big issue
that you're 'different'. In fact, it would be best if no
one knew.
I assume everyone gets the same dinners. I'd take what was given
to me and eat what I could, again, without saying a word about diet.
...WY

Ive learned over the years from being gay, being vegan since was 16, being feminine, and being *different*...(into natural healing, alternative spirituality etc...) that the only way to go, is just be yourself. Dont care what other people think! Sorry folks, but I just can't go on with the fearful attitudes some of you have here about needing to *hide* your diet or lifestyle...and being afraid of what other people would think! Dont hide it, be proud of it! Who gives a flying f*ck whether or not they like it! I doubt theyre gonna fire you, if you dont eat their dim sum...and if they did, did you really want to work at that job anyways? I mean seriously...
Cmon people. It sounds like some here are ashamed of who they are! Dont be!
As for the dinner...do you really need to go? Are they discussing actual pertinent work things...are you paid for your time in going?
Id not, Id just skip out, or like others said....bring something to eat with you. You could call the restaurant ahead and ask them to make something different, and if they wont, bring your own. Go ahead and be truthful about why youre not eating the dim sum. Youre a raw foodist. So what. The sky is not going to fall. The world is not going to end. Some may be jealous, some may be angry, and some may have questions. Your chance to educate. If anyone says anything rude, just kindly remind them that you are at an official work function and that you expect to be treated professionally! Just, if you do talk about it, just make it about you, not about them. What they think beyond that, is their choice.
I grew up in a small town that thought vegetarians were people who ate fish and chicken and the only out gay people were the spanish teacher and the florist. So yeah. I survived. People had questions, people were rude...but they were high school students! Most adults said nothing. And when I came out, almost NO ONE said anything! Most people, in speaking of my diet, just said they could never do it. Oh well. Too bad for them. Thats when I tell them that I used ti be the same way....I ate meat at every meal. I weighed 240 lbs and had bad acid reflux. Now Ive lost significant weight, I dont have acid reflux, and Im healthy! So it worked for ME. But you dont even have to go that far.
Anyways...thats just my advice. Just dont give into fear mongering!
Sincerely with Love
JOhn aka SHekinah Love

Hellokitty,

Split the difference: call ahead and say that you are attending this function but cannot eat the food, and ask whether you could bring your own. The restaurant should be fine with this; management NEVER wants someone to have an allergic reaction to their food during a crowded dining period--bad for business. Then at the meal, tuck into your fresh fruit bowl while everyone else eats their dumplings. Don't make a big deal out of it. And if someone asks why you aren't eating the restaurant's food, just say, "oh, I don't eat cooked food." I find if I answer matter-of-factly and with a smile, people shrug and go back to doing whatever they were doing before they nosied into my eating habits. Have fun! : )

veganreikiangel Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> just be yourself. Dont care what other people
> think! Sorry folks, but I just can't go on with
> the fearful attitudes some of you have here about
> needing to *hide* your diet or lifestyle.
"Just be yourself"...that's a good quote John. I've
been around people who 'slap' you with their lifestyle. For me,
not making 'waves' works. For you, it doesn't. Again, it's who
you are that should influence your decision.....WY

there is no way anyone would ever describe me as fearful or afraid of what people think, i'm quite strong and confident about myself. but i am also old enough to know that idealism can come with a pricetag. if you don't mind being singled out at work for your differences or even facing the possibility of being looked over for promotion because you aren't a "team player" or are regarded as too strange that's one thing but when you like where you work and want to stay there it's not unreasonable to set aside your personal beliefs and act like a professional, even at an "informal" work party.
discretion is an admirable quality and sometimes it can serve you well. plus the fact that you have doubts about it at all says something all on it's own.

Being yourself and being honest is not about *making waves*. Its about being true to yourself, and not letting others get you down! As for jobs and promotions...who would ever want to work in a job that promoted based on diet??? Seriously! And since when did *acting like a professional* include hiding who you are, and lying?

Whatever you decide - whether you bring something along, place a special order, or even just eat beforehand, the biggest thing you can do is bring a great attitude.

A few weeks ago, I attended a dinner for my dragonboat team. I ate ahead, and showed up with a bottle of water. Sat down, and then got a lot of funny looks when everyone got their food and I chose to have nothing.

When they questioned me, I simply smiled, raised my water bottle, and said I wouldn't miss the chance to spend an evening with such wonderful company. Every single person seemed quite complimented by my answer, and nobody said another word about it!

So don't be reactive, don't try to explain yourself too much, just let them know it isn't a big deal to you, and it won't be for them.

i love that sapphire, that's a beautiful way to deal w it.

there are many ways to be true to yourself without shoving it in other's faces. it can be a gentle thing like the story above. it doesn't always have to be about confrontation and making a scene to proclaim your principles. sometimes a job is worth a bit of compromise (like when you have children to take care of) and every place i have ever worked has it's politics. they are inescapable in the real world. you don't have to mire yourself in them, true, but it helps to pay attention.

I dont think being honest and polite is *shoving it into others faces*. Im not saying a person should go into dinner, stand up in front of the entire group and exclaim *Im a raw food vegan, Im superior to you. Your food stinks, and meat is murder!*
Im just saying, she could go in...maybe even tell her boss beforehand (since it sounds like the company is paying for dinner) Tell them you have specific dietary needs, and ask if they can make alternative arrangements. If they cant, bring your own, and while there, if anyone asks questions, just be honest, and very polite about it, making sure to take ownership of what you say, and not make blanket statements. Just say.....Im a raw foodist. Its an amazing way of eating Ive discovered that works really well for me! Theyll probably ask what you eat, and you can tell them...theyll say *dont you get hungry* You can say...no, and Im very satisfied. They may ask about protein, you can say, you dont have any problems....and leave it at that. They probably wouldnt ask much more, if even that all that.
I've never had any problems at work or other places, except a few questions here and there.

Yeah, I agree, you don't have to make up a big sign and take it and a megaphone to the dinner to announce your rawness. Just take a smile and a friendly attitude and leave the sign and megaphone at home.

agreed, no need to make a scene

I eat what I eat.. I would just go, socialise and thats that

such a non issue.

Thanks coco!

It is good to check ahead if you can.

My team sometimes goes out for beer and chicken wings after practice (you might think a bunch of cancer survivors could come up with a better idea, but the majority rules).

Anyhow, I showed up one night at the pub, with a bottle of water with some liquid greens added to it - interesting color.

But the waitress took it away from me and said it was policy that no food or drink could be brought in from outside. I was kind of irritated, because there was really nothing for me to order - would I really want a glass of their unfiltered water - when the drink I brought with me was my preference. (and privately, she was quite rude about it, I didn't trust her not to interfere with the drink in some way anyway)

Even though I explained myself, she wouldn't change her mind, but she agreed to hold my drink behind the bar and let me take it with me when I left. Really childish in my opinion, but what could I say. I think she really made herself look bad to everyone.

Oh well, as things turned out, the team has since decided they don't like that place - and I don't think it was because of that, I think there were some other issues. At any rate, it's good to know ahead if there will be any problems.

Wow...that was quite rude of the waitress. IN situations like that Id just say that Im diabetic, and the drink was my medicine...lol. And that Id hold it myself, thank you. If she wasnt the owner/manager, Id also have asked to speak to them. Thats great theyre not going there anymore!

Hmmmm... the world that we live in

quite interesting

" If I weren't a little crazy, I'd go insane."

What do you say about a situation like this except that you MUST be a little crazy otherwise you WOULD go insane. How bout this little idea:

After everyone has carefully ordered their bountiful variegated dim witted sum items and is ready to dip their spoons and tap their chopsticks, stand at the edge of the table and say " I got a magic trick", then quickly and expertly pull the table cloth from beneath the food items. Make it so that each item expertly and quickly crashes to the floor making one big glorious puddled mess.

Say " VOILA!!!!"

and then act surprised when they don't clap. Take a bow anyways and simply reply:

" Did I hear anyone say " ENCORE?"

What do you think Hellokitty?

Don't disappoint me now. Tell me how the magic trick went after your professional company dinner is over.

The dinner is on wednesday. I think that i will ask if I can order some seaweed. as they do do that I think. and I will just have my seaweed(if they do it). I will also eat before hand. The directors are pretty nice at Godiva so I will email my manager now to see where they have dicided to go

oh yeah...thats right...they may have a seaweed salad. Theres probably cooked sesame oil in it...but thats probably the best they can do there...