Thanks, Soraya, that means a lot. I know it'll get better, and it's really not terrible; I get really moody for about half the month. I'm guessing it's the mid-life change making me look closely at my life -- sometimes more closely than I'm comfortable with. And the apprehension with trying to market my art not really knowing what I'm doing and not having the money or freedom (with a three year old) to do it like I'd like to. My little daughter is incredibly good natured, sweet, cute, smart -- she has it all, and I'm very lucky to have such a sweet little kid. And she has a lot to do with my not being satisfied just getting older and settling for all the midlife aches and pains and digestive problems a lot of people my age start to deal with. so I take my herbs and try to eat as close to an all living diet (or "liveit" as I've heard some people call it) as I can. I have to stay young for her and her dad, who is quite a bit younger than me. Raw foods help so much -- a week on 95% raw and I'm twenty years younger! so basically I'm generally pretty happy with my life; I just get discouraged sometimes.

Yeah, I'm a grandmother. My grown kids and grandkids are in California, the oldest by San Diego, and the other two and the grands about an hour north of Sacramento. I miss them a lot and manage to get out there a few times a year. I'll be out again in August for my grandmother's 90th birthday (she's a great-GREAT grandma!!!).

I'm doing better. Aliza's end of year preschool celebration was really cute, and they made a CD! It was a potluck, so David and I had planned on not eating because we didn't figure we'd find anything that we'd eat (he's not all raw, but he's healthy veg), but there was a lot of raw for me and good vegan food for them.
today I'm planning to get back to all live food, because though just a few weeks ago I was fine on 70 or 80% raw, now I feel like it's not enough after going all the way. I want that amazing glowy, alive feeling that I have when I eat all live foods.

My long "weekend" is over -- I have to work tonight. I'm anxious to find out what the universe has for my next job. I never do the same thing for more than a few years at a time; I get bored or frustrated or just want to do other things. I never just quit my jobs without finding something more interesting. I got this job shortly after moving to Massachusetts, not knowing what else is out there. So I just need to keep my eyes open for what is next.

You guys have a great day!
Sundancer

Sundancer, yep, we women (men too!)get to that stage where we have to examine our lives very closely and make some tough decisions at times, though many aren't as aware as they should be and miss an awesome opportunity for self-acceptance and total life transformation on every level.

It's intriguing how we're both making the move to really put ourselves (back) out into the art world; what medium(s) / theme(s) are you into? I made a mad dash out in this muggy humidity earlier this morning and picked up some watercolor paper and paints to work on my T shirt designs from this weekend, then I have to decide which one(s) to use to make my first samples... We are strong women, darn it! We can do this! I'm excited to hear what your goals in this area are...

I think what swung me about hearing that you're a grandmother is how young your spirit comes across to me as, though I really shouldn't be shocked; my best friend is 16 yrs my senior - I'm 36 yrs next week - and a grandmother as well, and she keeps ME on my toes! Looks MY age and we have a blast when guys take us each for being a decade or more younger than me actually are!

I'm glad you all had fun last night, AND were able to find something to eat as well...what a miracle!

I know that there are a lot of exciting things in store for you; you'll see! And hold on to that beautiful spirit of yours...it will open many doors for you!

____________

DAY 16

I had the most AMAZING cold shower this morning!

Yes, you read that right!!!

Sometime I must share the specific way to do it...that I learned through Kundalini Yoga...it sounds horrific, but it isn't, I promise, and the results are nothing short of amazing!!! I spent longer than ever massaging myself as I went in and out of the water, paying close attention to those lymph nodes. I've seemed to have really taken to these showers more since becoming raw, and look forward to them so much each morning that it actually inspires me to get out of bed sooner! :-)

Feeling alive and energized, after having morning OJ I went to run a quick errand, stopped at a little fruit stand to buy - more figs ** I ate 26 figs for lunch yesterday and promptly wanted MORE**, then went to an arts supply store to stock up on watercolour paper and paints (no inks, unfortunately) so I can begin to work on my T shirt designs in earnest. Also bought a couple more journals to keep at hand especially when travelling so that I can jot those story ideas that tend to hit me in the oddest of places sometimes. One of my "furbabies" isn't feeling well at all, either,so I'm spending more time just snuggling next to her while I do my thing...

Had a smoothie when I got back, and am about to go devour MORE figs - I got three containers this time, but as soon as I walked out I wished that I'd bought 4 more!!! Wahhhhh!!!

The plan for the balance of the day is to just relax a bit, take care of my girl, and do some more writing...

Continue to enjoy your day!

Hey girls!

Yesterday was much better -- I stayed raw and felt better. Soraya, I am excited about all the things I'm going through within myself, though it can sometimes be tough. I feel like raw foods, like fasting, tend to bring that element of introspection, and ultimately growth, out in us. It's a good thing. And thank you for the complement about my young spirit! I feel like my spirit has been the same age throughout my life -- about 30. My family all told me when I was a kid that I was an old soul, and I believe it. But as I get older, I find that my spirit stays the same; it has that quest for wisdom that it had when I was little, but it also has a youthfulness about it. So I'm pretty happy about that. It's funny that this subject is being addressed, because lately I've felt rather out of touch with the spiritual part of my self and have been wanting to do something about that.

As far as my art goes, I am working with chalk pastels, doing surrealist drawings with really bright colors. This is my favorite medium. This is another part of my life I am wanting to pay more attention to. I spent a month getting ready for that one show, then haven't done anything since. I miss it. I plan to work a little on my very messy and unorganized art room and maybe that will inspire me to do something creative.

Hello both of you young spirits...quick shout out HELLO HELLO. I've had a great day with great balance of spiritual meeting, fresh fruit, gardening, and I may even go to a yoga class!

Day 19

Lots of {{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} to you, ladies!

Elakti, read about your awesome day in your blog and rejoiced with you; way to go! You had such a rejuvaniting weekend...

Sundancer, your drawings sound very yummy - weird dsecription, I know, but that's the first thing that came to mind! Would love to see your work someday. When was your last show?

I'm grateful that you are both doing better; I feel like I've been worked over by a semi truck in the past few days. Talk about emotional upheaval knocking you upside the head; I can honestly say I'm not exaggerating when I say that I got positively HAMMERED. Still going through it to a slightly lesser degree (thank the heavens!) I actually ate a couple unraw things the last two days, even though I knew I'd feel totally out of afterwards (still do!); not killing myself over it but I wasn't expecting anything of this intensity AT ALL... ***ugly face***

I have been paying a lot more attention to pampering my body lately: doing orange/brown sugar/oils bodyscrubs (my SKIN is AMAZING!!!!!!!); gave myself a good pedicure / hand/ foot massage yesterday morning (can we say "BLISS"!); treated myself to some Shea Butter again and began using my Morroccan clay mask for the first time in too long a time this morning... I'm actually feeling like someone special - a feeling I haven't really had cemented in my conciousness like, EVER - and I don't quite know how to process that yet. I am special. Wow.

WOW.

I don't remember ever saying those words to myself.

I've certainly never thought of myself in that way...

Oh dear, another door opened! Where to NOW...!

I can see this is going to be another one of those days...

I have SO many perfectly ripe bananas that I don't know what to do with them all - I may not be able to eat them all in time! Wondering if I should freeze a bunch or two...never done that before. I remember seeing on Sparker's blog a banana parfait thingy that she made up for her twins' birthday - maybe I'll freestyle off that idea. My own Bday's coming up, and I really want to make something exquisite for my special treat...

Humnnn...


Okay...I'm off for my second fruit smoothie of the day and to digest a few other (non - physical) things!

Much love...

You sound like someone special!

Sounds like you're doing a lot of self-discovery. I think from what you've mentioned before that your self-esteem is going up and up and up.

Mine also. I have always had a major deficiency in self-esteem and self-confidence. This seems to be changing in me, also, finally.

I sometimes have that banana problem, when I buy a lot but they're all in the same stage. I freeze them (peel first). Good for smoothies. Have you ever made banana milk? Just blend bananas with much more water, maybe add a date, and it is just the consistency and thinness of milk....so so so so delicious and refreshing.

Oh, I think I'll have some.

I'm on my way home actually, from getting Magpie from babysitter/friend, so I shall pop in as soon as I can...you're doing well too. Keep pampering yourself!
I take it the emotional upheaval is calm water now since afterward you express such positive self-loving things.

When is your birthday? Are you a Cancer? I'm very very Pisces/Scorpio.

Anyway, nice to read your post here and on my blog. If you do the banana parfait thingy, do let us know what you did!

Bon Appetit! And bon everything else too!

Elakti, you did it again - you made me smile! Thanks for that!

Usually when I buy a lot of bananas I stagger them - some riper than others - so they are all at different stages. But this is the first time I've ever had all at the same stage, and it is seriously funny...I think I will have to freeze some of them after all!

Still in the emotional upheaval, actually, just experiencing it from a different angle right now, different intensity...I'm in the process of learning to love and accept myself, and especially since starting the Camp experience I can literally feel my heart in the beginning stages of blossoming / opening up. Heavy stuff

So weird...you did come across as Pisces/Scorpio! My Mom is Pisces/Aries ***crosses eyes*** ...what a combination! I am so Cancerian that it is NOT funny...Cancerian to the Nth power!!! My Bday's actually on Sunday...and I will be working I'll let you know what I'll make for my treat - still trying to decide!

Thanks for being such a special person yourself!

Have a peaceful, refreshing night!!!

Happy almost birthday Soraya!! My mom's is today. And you ARE special!!! You have supported me and lifted me up so much! Both of you! Thank you both! I also have huge self esteem issues; have since I was a kid stuck in a very dysfunctional family. Learning to love oneself is one of the hardest things anyone can try.

I'm on a banana cacao kick for the same reason: David keeps bringing home ripe bananas and I love chocolate and bananas together. And I'm PMSsing -- not pretty at 46! So cacao is my best friend right now!

I am Leo Leo Leo (my son says I'm "such a Leo". My birthday is 8-8-8! I should get a prize for having a birthday on that day!!!

'Kay, ladies, have a great day!

Hello, we're the banana gals. Usually at people's co-0p there are so so many bananas at varying stages from green to ripe and it is a good selection. Once in awhile though they are all the same stage (it's a huge bin, too). I have several bananas in freezer. Try banana milk, it is so good.

I just did longish post on my side, and I've got to get going...I actually need to meditate a bit as well. I feel like I could yak and yak this morning, but fortuneatly or unfortuneatly I must get going with preparations for the day.

Still feeling really great and forward-moving, up. And, I want to thank you two ladies, you are such wonderful buddies online, on this trip....

...on our camping trip!

So, a Cancer, and an 8-8-8!! Cool! Prizes all around!

Yes, I think we ARE really helpful to each other, I know I am getting so much out of our communication, I am very APPRECIATIVE too. Thank you to both you special ladies. Let's have a great day, let's function well, above out past dysfunctional past. Hallelujah to that.

Day 20

Really quick post!

You two ladies are great! Thanks to you both again for being such supportive, wonderful (and funny as heck) campmates...

Sundancer, you gave just gave a former chocoholic and idea...now if I can only find raw cacao or carob around my immediate vacinity...humnnnnnn...Hope your Mom had a great birthday and thank you for your well wishes! Oh, and I hope that your little one is doing much better!

Elakti, so happyhappy that you are continuing to feel joyful and hopeful, and I second your last paragraph! Amen to that!!!

Today I did some housework, spent some time cruising a couple other support sites (for invisible / chronic illnesses) and spent most of the afternoon in bed, actually, as my energy was low for some reason. Had about 3 fruit smoothies and a dinner of baby cukes and half an avocado...didn't feel like anything more than that...

Off to take the furbabies out to do their business, then spend some time with my Gratitude Journal, do my nightly meditation and off to bed!!!

Have a peaceful night, all!

Have a great day you two...looking forward to hearing from you!

I'm reminded of the gratitude journal. Need to start doing that. I sometimes "say" such things to myself on walk to work. Lately, that is. I am so grateful to be on more positive road, and I am so grateful to live where I live. Compared to places and situations of past many years, this situation and location is such a gift.

Eat well, think and feel well, be well. Smiles and hugs, moi.

Elakti, smiles and hugs to you too!!!

Sundancer, hope you're doing well and everyone's happy and healthy!

Well, did NOT journal last night...found myself almost camatose (slightly exaggerating) in front of the TV until sometime after midnight. I haven't done that in weeks, so I realized it for what it was; one of my old emotional-avoidance habits. Ah-HA! Let's nip THAT in the bud!

So I called my best ( of two -HA!) friend at work and talked to her for a few minutes. Just hearing her voice sets me right, and she is well aquainted with my ways / autistic traits and so knows how heavy and difficult it is for me when I'm feeling extremely lonely (and alone), which was the case these past few days. I'm feeling much better, and so earlier was entering some entries into my Journal - couldn't wait until tonight to start!

I didn't realize how hard I'd have to work at totally accepting and loving myself; there are so many negative, derogatory voices and scripts in my head that you can so easily get distracted and derailed...I keep having to remind myself that to properly delete the old scripts and beliefs, you have to introduce and fully install new ones, so that's one of the points I'll be focusing more on in this the second half of Camp - this is DAY 21 (at least for me)!

I've been seriously thinking of extending my camp stay...

I was looking at some thing as well... a numbers thing, humor me...I started Camp on June 12th, and the fortieth day will be...July 21st! I just thought that was neat...

Got a lot of (house)work done today - I'm finding work not to be tedious now at all (still) and have found my natural work rhythm again, which is quite nice. Had been on a fruit smoothie kick practically all yesterday and for a great part of today, so much so that I have NO BANANAS LEFT in the house - none! Guess I won't have to worry about freezing some anymore! I have to get to the market tommorrow, STAT! Need to make sure that I have enough to carry me through the weekend AND that I get something a little extra special as my birthday treat

Been eating cantalope since earlier this afternoon, and may have a carrot juice/ greens smoothie for dinner...

Elakti, have a fantastic day tomorrow - enjoy your manicure! And Sundancer, I know you said you'd be travelling, so just in case we don't get a chance to say this before everyone gets caught up in the weekend revelry - I have to work! - I hope you both have a great 4th and a safe, enjoyable weekend!

Much love...

I think our camp should not end!

I had a smoothie this morning : bananas, orange juice, strawberries (w/ their green caps), golden kiwi, dates, sunflower sprouts, zinc. Very good.

I hope you get to replenish banana supply soon! I am not that crazy about just eating bananas, but I do eat them. I always want a banana supply, for smoothies and for a 'heavier' fruit. Also had a galia melon ...last one,
But, I start to freak when I am out of bananas and oranges.

I would like to do another fruit replenishment shop, also!

It's nice to hear you are in a good work routine and you find it smooth and flowing. Sounds good to me. Lately, since better feelings of health, even my job has been much less challenging mentally and emotionally.

Day off for me today. I need to do a few chores, including sweep patio. Mostly need some quiet time. Hey, horses, let's sit down. Those wild creatures! I feel a little unsettled. It's a squirrely feeling I get when I need to sit down quietly...and it can spiral downwards in a hurry. So, I better heed this pull to ... stop, sit, close eyes, meditate.

Day 23

Elakti Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I think our camp should not end!

There'll be another one right after this one concludes - whether or not Camp Self-Care Self-Love gets extended due to popular demand - more details on that later as they come to hand!

> I hope you get to replenish banana supply soon! I
> am not that crazy about just eating bananas, but I
> do eat them. I always want a banana supply, for
> smoothies and for a 'heavier' fruit.

Most of my nanas I use in my fruit smoothies, but I do enjoy eating them alone on occasion - I find them very useful as well in keeping weird cravings at bay! I could go through, depending on banana and bunch size, about 2 bunches a day (at least one!)

Sounds like you had a very productive day yesterday, and I hope today will be a good one for you as well. Had FANTASTIC DAY yesterday. Was off, ran a quick errand and headed to market; wanted to make sure I was well stocked up for the weekend - and Sunday! May end up getting that off...we'll see!

Anywhoo, long story short is I always wanted to ask if any discounts were given to people buying produce in bulk; I've heard that many supermarkets may not do so, but I wanted to find out anyway. I need a way to be able to better afford my food, and I'm not a millionaire in this physical reality QUITE yet . So I approached someone who looked like one of the managers and asked him for the produce manager; he does better than that and brings the store manager who was standing not far from where we were, actually. So, tentitively, I broach my question...

***braced herself for the answer***

You know how fig-happy I've been recently, and those things are EXPENSIVE, especially here in NY. Like, 50 cents a piece for conventional - please don't ask about the organic! So he asks, like what? And I reply,"What if I wanted to buy figs in bulk?"

"How many cases?"

I size up my funds at hand mentally and reply,"Three?"

He said that in the general store bulk discounts weren't allowed but in the produce department: " Of course! Just tell me what you want from now on and I'll give you the wholesale price!"

I had to shake my head for a minute.

Did he just say WHOLESALE???

Afetr asking him guess-timates of other items - the cost of a case of bananas, for example - I told him I couldn't do much today but that I wanted 3 cases of figs. Done! He took them off, wrapped them securely himself and wrote a notation on them for the cashier. Listen to this...

Ready?

He gave me a 50% discount!!!!!!!

:-0

I just about kissed a total stanger in the middle of the aisle... LOL!!!

I was dancing in the store. At the bus stop waitng for the bus. And I mean literal dancing, by the way. Talk about one of the best birthady gifts EVER!!!

So I am planning to do a bulk shopping like once a month, and get a cab home, most likely - may or may not be able to get a lift other than that - but I'll work with it. This is (the) solution that I've been praying and hoping for - finding a way to be better able to afford my food and make my money do more...

I am beyond happy. And thoroughly GRATEFUL. I was mentally chanting "thankyouthankyouthankyou"s for the entire day, and this morning as well!

***Dances funky dance of immense joy in her chair***

HAve a great, enjoyable, safe and supportive Fourth / weekend, Elakti, Sundancer, and everyone else!

I know I will!I don't know what my special Bday treat will be yet, but I'm thinking about doing something with nanas, caocao and figs (hey...got 72 of those babies! And they're not small, either...these are all huge and at the peak of ripeness )

Popped back on for a few minutes while I'm about 45 mins into chomping down a rather good salad (!)...I'm surprised I'm enjoying it so because I don't usually put more than 3-4 things in my salads at a time AND one of the ingredients is something that I've loathed all of my life but that my body's apparently screaming for (ugh!)...celery! And I've been staying away from mushrooms for the large part, but they're somehow in here too!

Salad - thinly sliced Romaine heart and finely chopped red bell pepper/ mushrooms/ golden beet/a little bit of celery, and an avocado. For breakfast and lunch I had 2 fruit (nana/berry/cherry) smoothies of @ 33ozs each, then later 13 huge figs, and a big bowl of watermelon.

Nice quiet day; worked, but it was a light day for me, which I am still enjoying. Now I'm wondering if I can finish all this salad, and am wondering how I used to be able to eat those 6-10 cup kale/tomato/avo salads that I used to demolish in my first couple of raw months! But I am chewing slowly, so I guess I'm filling up faster?... but I used to chew slowly then, too!!!

***Puts fork down reluctantly***

Nope. Can't do it. I am FULL. And there are about three forkfulls left! Oh, well. My body's started to hum and I'm feeling all warm, alive and delicious...

I love eating this way!

I love the changes I've been experiencing as a result of eating in this manner AND paying attention to the other important areas of my life besides diet...

Life Is Good!

Hey girls --

Life IS good!!! Great score, Soraya!!!

My fourth of July trip was awesome, work was, well, work, and I'm glad that I have a little time to regroup. I work tonight then have three days off, maybe four. My house id a wreck, so I can't be on here much longer, but I'll have time later when everyone's in bed.
Have a great day!!!

Oh, Soraya, HAPPPPY BIRRRRTHDAYYYYYY TO YOU-000UUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How ARE you, birthday gal? I just remembered this morning and I feel sheepish because I wanted to remember yesterday! But, it seems we've all been away for a few days, and so today I am hoping you enjoyed your day and thought up a good treat for yourself!

Looking forward to your next post. Everything good?

Me too -- sh*t -- Happy birthday!!!!!!!!

This is gonna be a quick one for now...

I'm fallin' out of my chair laughing at you two; you're SO funny - and so sweet! Thanks for the well-wishes ,and I had a great weekend - it seems you guys had a great time as well, which I'm thankful for!

So great that the both of you had the time to regroup with some good soul-care time; immensely enjoyed reading your posts. Elakti, so happy to read about how your return to your yoga practice is going! Yeaaa!! Sundancer, I had the chance to read your posts here and also on the main discussion area of the board where you shared about your move; MAN, that was a major transition for you, and my heart goes out to you...! So glad you shared that; now I understand certain aspects of your journey more. I have so much (more) respect for the both of you as I learn more about you day by day...

Work is becoming more and more enjoyable...amazing! I'm loving it. Its such a pain and drain when you can't stand what you do - and trust me, I've been there too many times to count. On my last gig I was so anxious and uptight I was on anti-anxiety meds for a minute (yes, that's how bad it was, and I do NOT like taking those things)!!! That was about 4-5 years ago now, thank God!!!

I'm doing great, thank you! Found out though that either the mushrooms or celery I've been eating (or both!) have been giving me a nasty reaction, so that's the end of that "adding variety" experiment! Oh, well...

My birthday treat turned out to be a delectable bowlful of the sweetest, ripest, biggest figs I've ever had. I was purrrrrrrrrrrr -ing, folks! ;-)

I WAS set on doing a banana/caocao sundae thingy with the figs, and I did, but I had to crack up...seems this once "professional" chocoholic can no longer bear the taste of the thing!!! My first couple of bites - DIVINE - then I got this weird distaste for it and ended up throwing the nana mixture away as I just couldn't eat anymore *shrugs*. So I just mauled the figs, and all was VERY well in my world...

Yesterday I also viciously attacked my bedroom - which was a ROYAL mess - and it's about 90% to where it should be at this point. All my art supplies and reference materials re. my T shirt design / book writing inspirations are front, center and easy to grab at a moments notice. I've settled on a few designs I want to experiment with - printing on T shirts and bags, for starters - and one of them is an ink drawing / painting I did of my best friend's profile a while back. Unbeknownst to her, I spent some time this afternoon texting to and fro with her 18 yr old daughter about my plans to print a shirt for her (the daughter!) with my friend's profile with the words "My Angel"; I'm also going to do one for myself as she has been my angel for going on 12 years, now! She'll probably try to kill me at first, but I think she'll secretly love the idea...at least, I hope! Pray for me!

Work is becoming more and more enjoyable as the days go by, and I'm loving it! Its such a drain and pain when you're working a job that you can't STAND....been there, done that; my last gig was so nuts that I was on anti-anxiety/depression drugs for a minute there - and I do NOT like those things - but at the time I had to use that form of support...Thankfully, that's 4-5 years in the past, now!

Have a couple other things to share but will have to wait till another time...gotta run finish a few more things!

Love you guys! I think of myself as so fortunate to know you!

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS!}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Good morning! Glad to hear everything is good. Isn't that a great feeling to reorganize and clean up personal space? I need to do my closet!!! Aaaaachh! (AND clean out my purse, for that matter!! Scary. )

I just posted on my place, and I now have to go do things. So, perhaps I can come back later, after I get back from my mother's and before yoga. Today is 3rd of 3 days off, and there is still so much I want/need to do. Can you believe I still have 2 tomato plants to transplant? I should vacuum....ugh...I am so sore from yoga. I feel need to relax. When I get back...

Your art projects sound so interesting; and I am so happy to hear the enthusiasm and happiness in your "voice". Way to go!! Enthusiasm and passion...good things in the right direction. Creative expression---wonderful.

Hey!!

Soraya, thanks for the encouragement. The move was really hard, but I feel like I made the right choice, especially since so far I am able to fly to California a few times a year. I'm really excited to be going back next month for my grandma's 90th (!) birthday and to see my family and friends.

That's great that you love your job; I'm hoping that with this new assistant innkeeper I'll enjoy mine more. I'm not sure exactly what you do -- I thought I read that you were a live-in nanny/housekeeper/assistant; is that right? Boy, I sure could use one sometimes! It's a lot different raising a small child in your mid forties than in your twenties. I don't have as much patience, so it's a good thing I only have one this time around!! Plus, she's such a sweetie

I've read that mushrooms can give people problems, but I've not experienced any yet. I think you've been eating more raw food longer than I have (?) David just started bringing home figs -- yum!!! I ate about 6 today, but of course that wasn't all I ate. I ate all raw except some grilled veggies, then read about how grilling is the worst way to cook food (carcinogens), which was funny because I was thinking that I'm not feeling grilled food in general anyway. It is starting to taste disgusting.

Doesn't it feel good to have your stuff organized? I've been in a funk in this area myself, but I really want to get out of it, because it really helps me be more productive when I have my surroundings cleaned up.

I love your idea about the tee-shirt! Your friend is so lucky to have such a creatively clever friend! She'll LOVE it!!! I also think that when you allow yourself the times of contemplation (like you did last week & the week before), that opens up your creativity -- see? Cool, huh? I think I need to focus more on paying more attention to my mind and my soul, too.

Another quickie...a lot going on these past few days!

Elakti, how did your visit to your Mum go? And I really am enjoying how ecstatic your yoga practice is making you...way to go!

Sundancer, thanks for the feedback, and, yes, when my surroundings are organized I can think and do everything else in a much clearer and expanded capacity; helps me get off my butt and get going! I'm going to start inking up my friend's graphic tonight, and through the weekend ink up a few other ideas. I'm aiming to take some stuff in on Tuesday to get the printing on the first samples started, and I'll give a few out to some friends (and keep some for myself, of course) to wear and see what the general feedback is...hoping for lots of orders!

I am a nanny of sorts, but my children now either meow, bark, swim around,or neigh! NO CHILDREN anymore as of 5 years ago; LOVED my kids - couldn't swing with most of the parents, who oftimes were too undisciplined / unreasonable / unconsistant themselves (and with their kids). The only children I want to have any dealings with from now on are my own if / when I have them!!!

Figs…ummmmmmnnnn…got three more cases yesterday, and am having a fig orgy. From the very beginning I’ve been heavy on the berries , especially blueberries lately, which I use in every fruit smoothie I do. I’ve also been able to find organic wild cherries, which add a deep, dark depth to the smoothie flavor; I buy frozen berries and cherries as they are MUCH cheaper than getting them fresh!!! I also go through at least 4-10 bananas a day, depending on their size…

Have to run now as am in the middle of some work. Will jump back in to longer more regular postings from tomorrow / over the weekend…have a phenomenally productive day, everyone!

Soraya, the visit with my mom went just fine. It is sometimes a little sad, but all in all, she is fortunate not to be in any physical pain and she is content with her simple life. I am grateful for that.

I came across something about figs, and I thought of you...that's great you are getting so much of what you want, and still at that great price? What a nice manager he is!

It is nice you take care of animals, that's a good job. I'm a little jealous . My job wore me out yesterday...the management part of it. The standing in one place all day, the boring repetitiveness of it with some members of management thinking they are marine sargeants! Ugh, please spare me! I kind of lost my calm, in fact, and instead of addressing it in a mature way or just letting it slide off shoulders, I ate something which was a MAJOR INDISCRETION and did I pay the price! I couldn't believe I did it, it is really stupefying. Recovering and must let it go. Today is a new day.

I got phone call from friend yesterday and we went to People's for lunch before work, and it was a nice divertissement. Also picked up some cherries, canteloupe, apricots, plums, papayas, romaine, sunflower sprouts. Expensive. I am a little concerned about finances. But, there are areas of my spending which can be controlled or modified and I MUST DO IT.

I may see if there are some frozen berries at People's which may be cheaper, or I may buy some regular ones. That is a good idea for me too. Yes, I usually eat several bananas a day too as I use them in smoothies or make banana milk and they are good 'in between' snacks, like at breaktime. I bought a lot of cherries so will take a big bag to work. This summer fruit is wonderful.

Have a wonderful day both of you gals, and talk to you soon.

Have you ever considered going to Hawaii to live/work/teach at a retreat center or farm? If you visit www.wwoofhawaii.org you can find a ton of awesome live/work trade opportunities that will be a great way for you to rethink your life, live healthy and meet like-minded people -- not to mention be in Hawaii. Most places require 20hrs of work per week for free room and board. Check it out. I am also 23 and going through a very similar situation. I have lived in Hawaii before and I'm committed to going back this September and reevaluating my life and my priorities. Your body is your temple so obviously that is a priority. My mantra the past few months has been:

"Leave thyself behind, then walk upon the water" This most definitely refers to letting go of ego and obsession with worldly possessions. With the economy and world the way it is, it may just be the perfect time to try something like this out.

If you need any recommendations, help or support-- I'm here for you!

Aloha,
Bizzie

Elakti, I'm glad your visit went well, and at least you are on good terms with your mother; my mother and I have never been close and I'm her only child!

About the figs and getting them wholesale...I bought three more cases on Wednesday, and have blown through two of them already!!! For some reason my body wants.figs.NOW. and I am so blessed to have this chance to give it whatever the vitamins/minerals are that its craving. The manager wasn't there this time but another guy hooked me up - plus I strongly suspect he was firting with me! - and I won't get that price only on the figs, but on any other produce I buy in bulk. I'm scheming to get a case each of mangoes, bananas and maybe Black Velvet apricots in the next week or two...

Glad you got the chance to go food shopping yourself - I may need to go again tomorrow, darn it! want more B.V. apricots, avos, nanas and blueberries - and you really should see if you can get your hands on frozen berries...I find them more cost effective here, anyway, than fresh ones, especially in the amounts that I eat every day!!!

Yep, work, and / or the people around us at work, can be VERY trying on the ol' patience; hope you're feeling better from eating the particular "comfort" food you ate. I actually did something like that too a couple hours ago; feel like I'm about to lose my mind to some extent. No, actually, I'm just incredibly sad. Not only did 'we' lose two animals in the past couple of months, we are about to "lose" a third and I had to say so long to her this morning. This one isn't dying, however, she's being adopted out to another family who may be better equiped to deal with her. She's incredibly sweet but has an unpredictable vicious streak and has become too much of a risk to keep here in this environment. That's three animals gone in about two - three months and it SUCKS. The house feels foreign, and I'm feeling yucky...and what I ate didn't help a lick, I'm only feeling worse. Sigh...tomorrow's another day...

Can you beleieve that it is DAY 31 of Camp?!!

Sheesh...where DID all the time go?

I hope that we're all having a good /better day today...I am, thankfully, and being able to get a quick lift to the market and back certainly helped. I needed to have more fruit at hand for the next couple of days, so I picked up a few more bunches of bananas... will get a case soon but chose to spend some money in another direction, like a case of Black Velvet apricots! ***Salivates like crazy*** Like the figs, those suckers are expensive when you buy a few here and there, and my market doesn't consistantly have them, so I went for it!

Got some strange looks and remarks when I unloaded all of them into a bowl when I got home...I'm the only person in the house who's much of a fruit eater, and they've definitely NEVER seen anyone eat specific fruits in such large quantities before - though they are still unaware of just HOW much I eat; I still keep the large part of my nana supply stashed in my room, for example. People still wig out over the fact that I don't cook and don't eat meat or eggs, and a few of them seem downright offended by the whole thing, sometimes! That's why the only person (in the "real" world) that I've discussed this with at all per se is my best fiend, who, incidentally, is neither raw or vegan/vegetarian at this point, but supports me and my goals 1000%!!! I love that woman!

I also picked up more frozen berries and cherries...yummnnn...

Elisa, thanks for the suggestion; I guess that's an option I can contemplate, though I don't know how doable that is for me at the moment...it can't hurt to check it out, though, so I'll do that!

_________________________________

Haven't been posting my specific daily meals a lot so I'll do the last two days...

Yesterday: Nana/berry/cherry smoothie, 2 mangoes, 4 black velvet apricots, 14 figs, medium bowl watermelon, and salad with romaine/1/2 avo/grape tomatoes/red bell pepper...(not listing my "comfort food" incident

Today so far: 2 nana/berry/cherry smoothies, a LOT of watermelon - 3 medium bowls full, 16 figs. Will make another salad like yesterday's a little later...it was SO good! (or maybe a kale/avo/grape tomato).

I've also been increasing my water intake.

I've spent an insane amount of time today researching kettlebells again this afternoon; specifically, kettlebell workouts. I've found a site that's very nice, and spent some time waching some online videos of their training, etc...The more I see, the more I like, and I'm itching to get started! I've decided that after these initial 40 days are up that I will extend my Camp stay not only to continue working on making my new habits a concrete part of my life, but also to focus on making regular exercise as habitual to me as breathing, which it is SO not right now! My 40 day Camp stay will now become a 90 day one (in total), and I'm super excited that I've chosen to do so!!!

I'm going to go walk my big baby (WOOF!),relax and read some OSHO, make and eat my salad, and do my night-time ritual of writing in my Gratitude journal (I'm also designing a Gratitude T shirt for myself!) & doing my meditations.

Have a peaceful evening, all! Hope to hear from you soon!

Much love...

Hey girls!

Hope all is well. Soraya, You are ROCKING it! I know what you mean about those darn "comfort food incidents"! I had one of those yesterday, but I've been doing pretty well since then.

Man, girl; you are going to FEAST!!! My honey brought home a case of pluots and was talking about maybe dehydrating some, but I was thinking, Naw, they'll be gone before you get a chance! My daughter has been digging them too. I plan on eating at least 10 for breakfast tomorrow. The gardens are going crazy too. I had a couple of friends and their kids (my daughter's age) over Thursday, and we all grazed in the garden for hours! It was great!!!

I'm down to continue the camp -- it (you guys!!) really helps me and it is fun encouraging you, too! Reading about how excited you are about continuing, and how you're really working on prioritizing things you're doing for your health is inspiring to me. Thanks!! ;}

Peace

***Beaming***

Sundancer, I think you rock too! Thanks for your post. I really am in love with your vibrant, young spirit, and both you and Elakti inspire me as well. Isn't it great to be blessed to enjoy an abundance of produce? I love my fruit mono-meals, and your mention of pluots made me think about that big bowl full of BV apricots downstairs ;-) I also carved up my watermelon for the day - so GOOD - and have already had two divine nana/berry/cherry smoothies so far...

Garden grazing...haven't done that in years; I know you are so grateful for being able to grow all that good food!

Have you been able to organize your art space in the way that you wanted as yet? I haven't been able to start inking my pieces as yet, but that's what my focus will be for a large part of tomorrow; that, and adding on to my 'short' story - I've been getting different plot ideas dropping into my head!

Elakti, I do believe that you said you'd be off for three days from today? Then you should be able to squeeze in some more yoga time - what fun! We are definitely alike, you and I, as we both enjoy working our bodies hard - and smart!

That's why I'm so enthused about working out with kettlebells! It's like working with weights - which I throughly enjoy - but with all these neat functional movements thrown in for good measure...gotta love that! The site I'm going to order the DVDS from, and where I've been watching a lot of short instructional training videos (with valuable tips) is [www.theartofstrength.com], I've also found a site which is having a major kettlebell sale [www.MuscleDriverUSA.com], so sometime between today and tomorrow I'm going to get some funds together and take advantage of that! My main thing now is to determine what my starting kettlebell weight should be. I'm little but naturally very strong, and the recommended weight for a woman who is fit and athletic is 26 lbs. I don't know about the athletic part right now **HA!** The potential is there, though, but I know my weight will be either the 22 or 26 pounder...humnnn...I can't wait!!!

For the rest of the day I'm going to be getting a jumpstart on some laundry (whoo-hoo!), walking my baby, spending some time with a book, looking at some more training videos and relaxing a bit outside a little later in the afternoon...and having a peaceful night's sleep which was non-existant last night!

Have a great day, ladies!

Hey...

Beaming too!!!

I did eat the 10 pluots for brekkie, in a smoothie with my usual kale and flax -- delish!!!

Sh*t, yo, I haven't organized my art space at all!!! But it is still somewhat functional, if I would get up there and function in an artistic manner. My three year old is much more motivated to do art than I am at this time. This is sad. There is always tomorrow, though, and I am one of those people whose motivation swings wildly. So the good news is that it will vastly increase soon, as it always does!

Had a beautiful afternoon at the river with my fam; we picnicked on raw food which the hubby selected -- even though he isn't all raw, he is very supportive and very into delicious, fresh food, especially produce, and I consider myself very lucky to have him about!!

Hey girlies, will you do me a big one? (and anyone else who reads this) -- one of my best friends in Cali is in the middle of the wild fires in Butte Co. It is burning all around her beautiful home and so far her home is still standing (as of 2 days ago -- she can't find out for sure what is up right now as she is evacuated), but send a thought, a prayer, whatever, her way. We are worried sick and her kitties are there at her house. She barely got out with her life. It's very scary. The fire is 60% contained, whatever that means. Thank you so much!

Gotta go -- it's almost 1 am and I am bushed!! Catcha later!!!

Yes, yes, prayers and good wishes to your friend. What a terrifying thing is fire out of control, or anything out of control. I hope her kitties are ok. I hope her house is still standing. The fires...I always think of the animals.

Soraya, what are black velvet apricots?? Never heard of them. I want one!

Let's all continue camp, and keep extending our stay. I can't believe that much time is gone and I haven't consolidated much. Seems instead of "steady" I hop and skip and jump backwards and lunge forward and fall down and crawl forward, you get the picture. Instead of being able to say, "For 31 days I have daily done..." I say, "Whaaa-aaat? that much time has gone by? " I've done the best with the rawfoodism. Meditation, exercize, well it is coming along.

I haven't yet looked at your sites for kettlebells...will do so, as I am curious. Much to do....including washing little magpie. Big chore. I tried to get an appt. for grooming but wasn't able. Now I am stuck with this chore.

Watered the plants. Have gardening chores to do. Have to contact a friend soon re: tennis, but I think it is too hot.

Drinking a smoothie. Fruity morning, as usual.