hey chicas! i am back in CA after a long day of traveling. unfortunately i came home to find the apartment in absolute shambles- cat puke & @#$%& everywhere- my friend who took care of the cats mon & tues did a horrible job i guess, she even turned the litterbox around so they couldn't get into it! i am very very disappointed but people keep letting me down and at this point i almost expect it

anyway...

Amy, i hope you're having a great time traveling! i can relate to your scale issues, i get anxiety every time i get on a scale and it definitely has the power to make or break my entire day/week. i would stay away from the scale if i were you- you know you're healthy and happy and that's all that matters.

becky, you are smart to go back and see exactly what worked for you in the past re: weight loss. i tend to eat at night, too, and it's something i'm also working on. i think it's also a good idea to get your thyroid tested and maybe even get a second opinion if the first test shows up normal. it seems really strange to me that you can eat so immaculately and work out as much as you do and not lose weight! i can imagine how frustrating that must be.

soraya, good for you for listening to what your body is telling you and deciding to be ok with discomfort at this time! transitioning is TOUGH. i am not 100% raw any longer- most days i am but then there are days like this weekend when i allowed some regular hummus, etc- but it took me a LONG time to figure out what cooked stuff was ok and what cooked stuff was going to cause me to feel like crap, and i still sometimes eat the stuff that makes me feel like crap! this is a huge learning process and if we want to be in it for life, we have to take it one day at a time and allow ourselves to go through everything that eating 100% raw brings about.

as for me, i definitely ate some cooked food at home. i had regular hummus nearly every day, and also 2 slices of bread at a restaurant one night and a vegan cookie one day! the cookie nearly KILLED me, i got so sick and had the worst headache. after 3 big glasses of water i started to feel ok. last night i had some steamed broccoli, which may as well be raw food to my body (it doesn't react negatively at all). i feel ok about straying from 100% raw, but i have to admit it makes me kind of anxious! i don't know why...anyway, i'm sure i'll be back to normal after i get settled down again. i bought some regular hummus today b/c i had no time to make any between cleaning up the cat mess and cutting up meat for the cats, and veggies w/ hummus is my go-to dinner for when i have no time to eat. so, i have some regular hummus to finish but that seems to be ok for my body. it's stuff like bread & starches/grains that i don't do well eating. other than the hummus it's back to 100% for now, but i do think i'll allow myself a cooked meal or someting like that once a week or so. i am still conflicted about this but i keep telling myself it doesn't have to be all or nothing.

today:
-brought 4 bananas, 3 apples & a lara bar on the planes and ate all of it
-lots of cauliflower/carrots w/ hummus

that's it, but it added up to plenty. i am dead tired so i'm going to unpack and go to bed at 8! tomorrow i'll be up early for the gym again... it's good to be back with my cats. at the same time, i miss my family and feeling like i'm being taken care of! since when did life get so complicated? i feel like i could use a good month off or something!

oh and i also wanted to report that my family does not think i look emaciated or anorexic! the general consensus was that i should gain 5ish pounds, but they said i look fine, just skinny. i'm happy b/c i know they are being 100% honest. and if i look 5ish pounds too thin in Vermont, i probably look totally normal in LA ;-) and the "date" with adam on V-day went ok. he's really sweet and he even watched the cats friday night and saturday & sunday for me, but i feel absolutely no chemistry or anything, so i think i have to tell him i'm sorry, but it's just a friends thing for me. ugh. i hate those convos.

Hi Ladies:

Soraya, I am sorry to hear that you are going through a tough time right now :-(. It sounds like you have pulled through some really tough times and sound very strong. I am sure you will get through this too.

Amy, have a great time with your friend and mom! Sounds like so much fun!! I am amazed that you have been so successful at staying raw in a foreign country where you don't speak the language.

Danielle: I am glad to hear that you had such a nice time with your family! And to hear that they don't think you look too thin. They probably know you best!

Well, I am just about giving hope. I just feel really off-kilter and unhappy being raw right now. Last night I went to a movie with this new guy, Dan, that I am seeing. He is super sweet and seems to worship the ground I walk on. He tells me I look great. In the movie we were cuddling. When he had his arm around me I just felt kinda uncomfortable with my body. It just feels softer to me than it used to. I used to feel much more firm and toned. However, since eating raw I think that I am softer. Is this possible?
Well, I am almost ready to throw in the towel. I just don't like the way my body looks and feels, I am getting so discouraged, and have been CRAVING protein. I am so frustrated and upset about this I could cry. I theoretically and morally want to be a raw vegan, but it is just not working for me. I don't feel good. I am unhappy with my body. Is this all in my head?
I was talking to my friend about this tonight. I didn't get a chance to eat dinner so I stopped at Whole Foods and got a salad to go. I went over to her place, which is right across the street from me, and I was talking to her about it. I told her that I want to lose 20-25 pounds. She got kind of upset with me and said that I would look too thin if I lost that much, and I look great the way that I am. Maybe it is just in my head, I don't know.
I hope I don't disappoint you all, but I am going to do the South Beach Diet & start lifting weights in addition to my cardio work-out for 2 weeks. I know I will lose weight from this, since it worked for me before. I feel somewhat morally compromised but, sorry to say it, feeling good about my body is just more important to me right now. Do you all think I am a terrible person?
Soraya, thank you for your point about us not apologizing to each other. You are right, that is what this blog is for!

Well my grand total for today is:

-melon
-orange
*swam a mile, 40 pull ups and press ups in the pool, core training for 7ish min
-nuts
-apple
-salad: greens, spinach, red and green peppers, carrots, pickles, artichoke hearts, mushrooms, O & V
-odwala bar
-salad: spinach, carrots, cucumber, peppers (red, green, yellow), purple onions, a small amount of quinoa salad, a small about of tofu.
-pomegranate juice (I think I am getting sick)

I hope you don't mind, but I would like to still post here, even though I won't be a raw vegan (at least for now)? I feel like we have really developed rapport, and I like sharing successes and struggles with you all.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/21/2008 04:28AM by optimist4life.

Becky, definitely continue to post here! We wouldn't want to lose you, that's for sure. You have to do what works best for you. If you're craving protein, you need to give your body what it wants. Have you tried a normal vegan diet if you're worried about compromising your morals? That way you could still get plenty of protein (beans, tofu, seitan, tempeh, nut butters) but you wouldn't feel bad for eating animal protein. I also think you should get your thyroid tested if you are still having trouble with losing weight in the next few weeks. Best of luck and keep us posted on how it goes! I did South Beach for 2 days...the morning of the third day, I had a 10k race and ate some free bananas afterwards, and it was over for me! LOL. We are all different in our needs. I also completely understand why you'd put how you look first right now. You are already healthy and don't need to be on a specific diet for preventative or health reasons, and there's nothing wrong with wanting to look your best!

I am still feeling really depressed about how much my "friend" let me down. It's so hard being 3500 miles away from my family- they and my best friend are the only people who are really there for me. I just keep getting let down. I hate being so negative and I'm trying to stay positive but it's hard. I don't have that great of a support system out here and I'm fiercely independent, but everyone needs others from time to time. Everyone says, "Oh, can I do anything? Do you need help with anything?" and then when I actually take them up on their offer, they make me see that they were just being nice and don't actually care enough to be there for me.

Enough whining. I'm dead tired so it's early to bed again tonight...

-40 mins. arc trainer - this was absolute torture, I would rather have been anywhere else but the gym!
-3 bananas, 1 raw energy bite, and 1 raw brazil nut (for selenium, lol)
-2 c. OJ
-2 bananas, apple
-banana, apple
-a few baby carrots & pieces of cauliflower w hummus, a salad w/ romaine, baby romaine, a yellow pepper, carrots & cuc w/ braggs raw ACV (didn't have any other veggies but this was nice), and then a handful of sun-dried raisins to counteract the acidy vinegar taste

I hope this weekend is better. This "friend" left my spare keys under the door today. She is obviously mad b/c I asked her why she didn't tell me the cats were puking everywhere. She got defensive and said, "ok then next time don't ask me to watch them for you." I called and tried to talk to her, but of course she didn't answer. I left a voicemail and told her exactly how I feel, how disappointed and hurt I was that she'd let the things that mean the most to me live in filth and their own puke, and how I thought she cared enough about me and our friendship to want to do something nice for me after all I'd been through. But no. This is a girl who just got back from a 3-month vacation in Europe. She doesn't have a job, she lives in an amazing apartment in Bev Hills, and she drives a gorgeous rental car. She pays for none of it. I guess her life is just too different to relate to me. Still, it really hurts and my circle of friends keeps getting smaller and smaller.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/22/2008 03:46AM by meow.

Danielle: I am so sorry to hear that you keep on getting let down by people. I can certainly see why that would be frustrating and disappointing. I think it is amazing how much inner strength you have to get through all of this! Out of curiosity, why do you live in LA? I always thought of it as a pretty superficial and shallow place, no offense. You see much more profound than that. I am sure there must be good people out there -- it is just a matter of finding them. Maybe try to get involved in some new activities, or find a way to connect with people that are more similar to you. Have you thought of moving back to the East Coast with your family?

Thanks for being understanding about my food situation. I am trying to figure out how I have gotten to such a bad place food and body wise. I think a lot of it is in my head, and I just keep on having repetitive thoughts about not feeling good about how I look. Everyone tells me that I look great, healthy, toned, etc. However, I just don't feel the way I want to. I really need to do some soul searching to figure out what is going on and why I am feeling so bad food and body-wise.

Today I just ate what I felt like and didn't really go with any particular plan. I think I might just let myself be free for a couple of days until I figure out what I am going to do to lose weight. My #1 food and body goal right now is to get down to 140. I am going to try to do it as healthfully as I can, but this is really important to me and I am going to do whatever I must to get there.
Side note, today I met up with an old friend who was in town. We used to work at a homeless shelter together, and it had been 4 years since I saw her. We went to the homeless shelter for "tea time." It was SOOOOO fantastic to see her and everyone else! I have such wonderful memories from when I worked there. I actually taught Yoga Meets Dance there last school year as a volunteer. One of the ladies even remembered me and asked why I wasn't teaching this year. I felt kinda guilty, but I really have no clue where I can work that into my schedule. It is only an hour class, but the whole process of getting there, setting up, teaching the class, and getting back was usually almost 3 hours. That is a lot of time to give up during the week, but I really loved it! I remembered that being my favorite part of the week when I did that last year. Anyway, we shall see if I can figure out a way to work that into my schedule.

Okay, my food check in is not so raw or vegan but here it is:

-salad: greens, green and red pepper, egg salad
-walnut joy: this dessert thing that Laurie (the chef) at the homeless shelter made in honor of my and Jill's visit. I couldn't say no!
-apple, orange, peanuts
*swam a mile
-sushi: rice, carrots, avocado, tuna, ginger & soy sauce
-lara bar

I'll keep on posting my food and thoughts. Will certainly keep you updated. Thanks for sharing in my journey!

Becky, your day sounds great! You have done so many interesting things in your life! And also, even though you're not eating 100% raw vegan anymore, I think you'll be able to take the things you've learned in the last few months and apply them to whatever diet you choose to follow next.

About LA, it is very superficial here, but there's also a lot I love about it. The weather literally can't be beat, and I love being so close to the beach. I also like being in the middle of everything as far as shopping, clubbing, entertainment, etc. goes. I went to a media & communications school (Emerson College in Boston), so a lot of kids who went there end up here, and many of my friends are here. I moved out here before I knew much about the film industry- I used to be interested in screenwriting- but now I know that's just a hobby and I don't want to be a part of the film industry any longer! But you know, every place has its good and bad aspects. I know I'm only here temporarily and I'm really enjoying it most of the time! I do get frustrated but I've definitely found a way to transcend the materialistic crap and do my own thing (she says as she texts on her blackberry...lol).

So today I decided to chill out and not go to the gym. I forgot to take my iron nearly every day I was in VT, and it's caught up to me. I feel so drained! I've taken in for the past 3 days and hopefully my stores are building up again. But I think it's a good idea for me to go to the gym maybe 5x per week rather than 6x, b/c I'm still losing weight (slowly though). A pair of very small jeans that were too tight for me when I left for VT now fit perfectly. It's nice that they fit, but I don't really want to lose more weight.

I was not 100% raw today, and I won't be tomorrow, either. I guess I just need the weekend to relax a bit. I LOVE eating raw but right now if I have a craving I have no problem giving into it. Just because I eat some cooked stuff doesn't really take away from all the goodness of the raw foods I eat. So I bought some of the bagels I love, and I'll have one tomorrow and then freeze the rest. I am just about done w/ the cooked hummus, and am going to whip up a big batch of raw zucchini hummus this weekend and go into next week 100% raw again. I've been lazy and cold and tired and sad lately and that leads to cooked foods! Oh well. I've also been lenient b/c of my weight going down.

Today was:

b: 2 bananas
s: 1 c. OJ, banana or 2? can't remember
l: eaten very late around 3:00-3:30 - lara bar and a salad w/ romaine, spinach, mixed greens, yellow pepper, carrots, onions, raw corn, sliced tomatoes, and some vinegar
d: carrots & cauliflower w/ raw hummus, 1/4 of a sprouted grain bagel w/ raw almond butter & strawberry jam (I was going to eat half the bagel, but I really didn't want the rest b/c I would have been too full)

I am SO FREAKING COLD! I don't know how you cold weather girls do it. I'm about to pile under tons of blankets and watch "Roman Holiday" :-)

Danielle: It sounds like you have a lot of good reasons for living in LA for now. It is just a matter of finding your group, and feeling comfortable with your relationships. I am sure that you will be able to do it.

After soul searching and doing a bit more research, I think the best plan for me will be to do a combo of raw food and south beach. Basically, thinking of raw vegetables as the foundation of my diet, and focusing on keeping my glycemic index low. Like the South Beach Diet recommends not eating any fruit for the first 2 weeks. So, I think I am going to just eat a ton of greens -- spinach, salad greens, celery, cucumber -- not eating vegetables with a high glycemic index and not eating fruit. I will focus on getting enough protein -- eggs (cage free, organic, of course!) and maybe even some fish sometimes. I don't think I could ever go back to actually eating meat, but I think I can be a pescatarian for awhile to get down to the weight I want to be.
I think I am going to try to continue to avoid dairy, as I think it is really bad for adult humans to eat dairy.
Plus, I want to build more lean muscle mass. So, in addition to swimming a mile or doing some other cardio (for 45-60 min each day), I plan to do 30 min of weight lifting 5-6 times a week. I'll do upper body every other day, lower body every other day, and core strengthening every day.
Finally, I will focus on continuing to drink a lot of water.
I also plan to continue to not eat anything after 8pm.

I think my day will go something like this:

-breakfast: 2 eggs & maybe some greens if I want
-lunch & dinner: big greens salad with either egg whites, or fish
-between meals, I'll be sure to have plenty of cut-up veggies (low glycemic index ones), tea, water, and seltzer.
-maybe sugar-free jello (however, since this is highly processed and has artificial sweetener, I am going to avoid it as much as possible).

I don't know if this is going to be a life-long change, since I would like to ultimately go back to being a vegan. However, for now, I am confident that this combo. of approaches will get me to where I want to be. I would rather be "fighting" the weight battle from 140 than from 165. 25 pounds really isn't that much weight to lose. I am confident that I can do it, thanks to your ongoing support!

I hope I don't offend anyone who is reading this site by eating animal products!

Hey, Ladies!

Quick post, as my brain is fried and my body wants to go back to bed NOW

Thank you, Becky, for your kind words; yep, I've been through some tough times before, and have to remind myself constantly that "this too, shall pass"! The process can majorly bite, sometimes. I mentioned previously that I read something in the past few days that really addresses the whole idea of the tranformational process - some things I was familiar with but it helps to sometimes see things from a different perspective, you know? If you're interested, have a peek at the
March issue of Yoga Journal, pg. 61. Just food for thought...

I've been thinking about you a lot, and think that maybe you need to (and I see you have) re-evaluate where you want to be now and just transition (more) slowly from that to the levels you want to be. There is nothing saying that we need to hit a certain percentage, other than our own bodies, so I say - good for you to realise that you may need to take a step back and begin anew from another vantage point. You are the only expert and guru for yourself!!! We women (here) will definitely support you!

Danielle, I understand how you are feeling about not wanting to depend on people / feeling & being let down by them. Boy do I overstand!!! I have major problems with reading people / their motives, socialising / relating to people, etc, because of my ASD (autism spectrum disorder - Asperger's) and have had many bad experiences with 'friends' which I did not, and could not,see coming...

Thankfully, I've also been blessed by many aquaintances and collegues who have sown (not so little) kindnesses into my life - like the time I was still in school, and working part-time in one of the offices...there was a stretch where I had nothing in my mini-fridge but WATER. Through something interesting at work one day, a collegue from a kindred section found out that I was struggling, and he was MAD that I hadn't said anything to anyone (why would I?). After I got home that day, he called me on the phone and told me to be downstairs in 5 minutes. Huh? Okay... I meet him on my stoop and he's hauling bags and bags of groceries that he bought for me...mind you, we were not close buddies or anything at the time, but he had been through his own struggling college days not too long before...he gave them to be, told me NEVER to do that again, and left. I was stunned. There are good people out there - like US!!!

There's more I want to write, but I am mentally zonked. Any type of communication is challenging and requires much effort for me, even if 'just' online, which is why I don't post as regularly as you guys - I'm surprised that I have managed to do this as often as I have! One thing I will say is this - there is more to the raw lifestyle - or any lifestyle - than food. How we process stress, exercise, enough sleep, etc,etc, all comes into play. Let's be gentle with ourselves and not become too rigid/static about anything. Soft water flows, but is also strong enough to overcome / corode much harder substances / obtacles. So..in the words of Bruce Lee **grin** "Be like the water..."

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Off to bed in the afternoon...

Hi girls!

Becky, don't worry about offending anyone! You are doing what you feel is best for your own body, how could that be offensive? I really think your plan will set you up for success! I would die w/o fruit and never understood why so many diets cut them out, but I guess the sugars can prohibit weight loss for some people? At any rate, your meal plan looks healthy and adding muscle mass will also be a great way to boost your metabolism!

Soraya, I hope you're having a good nap! I am soooo tired right now too. Thank you for your post, it's always nice to know that someone else understands! There are so many good people in the world, and there is a handful of people I always feel like I can lean on. I just wish there were more. I guess I'm at the point in my life where I can't just do the casual acquaintance/party friends thing- I am 3500 miles away from my family, so my friends become the main source of support. It's tough though. Sometimes I am tempted to move back home and live on my parents' couch and let them take care of me! LOL. But really, I wouldn't have it any other way, I'm proud of my independence.

I'm also proud that I finally took my car in for a lube/oil/filter service today! There was also a cable hanging down under the car that needed to be welded back into place, and I feel SO much better now that my poor 13 year old car is up to date with everything. If that thing dies on me I am totally screwed! It looks like it should last at least another 6-12 mos :-)

Today I woke up feeling sick to my stomach and didn't want that bagel I'd planned on at all. Instead I've had:

-2 bananas
*30 mins. washboard abs class, 45 mins. elliptical*
-apple
-mango, banana, lara bar
-carrots & cauliflower w/ hummus
-salad w/ romaine, mixed greens, red & yellow peppers, carrots, cucs, 2 tomatoes, cauliflower, raw ACV
-apple or 1 glass red wine or both

Going out w/ Adam tonight...but I think I need to tell him I just want to be friends. I really don't feel any chemistry for him. It's a shame, but it's not meant to be.

Danielle, I hope that your car hangs in there; glad that you were finally able to get it attended to. And even if things don't work out with Adam in the way you would've liked them to, it sounds like you at least will have a great friend - and we all could use more of those...

Becky and Amy, I hope you are well and had a good day!

Here's my food check-in for the day. I actually "slept in" (more like rested in, actually, but it still felt good!), so only started eating like around 12:30pm...

- water
- juice of 2 grapefruit and 10 (?) oranges...I juice them and put the pulp back in. Usually I have half this amount but my body was screaming for more...
- 10 mandarins
- 3 bananas
- Smoothie of 4 more bananas and 2 cups mixed berries
- 1 cashew cookie Lara bar, my new "cheat" - haven't had these things in ages. My other cheat will problably be baked sweet potatoes - that seems to be the only cooked item I can have that won't (a) make me feel horrible, and (b) won't lead me to have weird cravings which lead to binges...

- A bunch of beautiful organic red kale & 1 avocado, sprinkle of Celtic sea salt
- handful of cashews

Not really hungry per se today...

My appetite's been kinda off lately too...

It just hit me yesterday that, DUH, I've always had food issues - now I know that most of them were because of my ASD - "off" appetite; not eating sometimes because preparing stuff just took too much out of me - or it would be too hard to decide what I wanted so I wouldn't eat at all; eating specific foods everyday for weeks or months at a time (like the time I would only have tuna sandwishes for lunch - that went on for at least 6 months); being unable to eat certain foods because of the textures (apples wig me out - I hate the way they feel in my mouth, and I won't go near a kiwi even with a ten-foot pole), etc. Eating raw just adds more interest in the mix, but its starting to make more sense to me, now, and I'm not as stressed out about it. Methinks the mountain looks a lot smaller now I have a more aware perspective...

I hope the above made sense...it's trying sometimes for me to explain what I mean coherantly...

Have a good night!

Soraya: Sounds like you are doing better today! I am really glad that you shared your experiences with us. I hope it helps! We will be here to support you. That was AMAZING what your co-worker did bringing you food. There really are good people in this world!!

I just got home from Philly. I met up with my sister who had an interview there, and a good friend from college who lives there. Just for the day. Great to see both of them! Now I am back home, and will be off to bed soon.

I ate out for both lunch and dinner because I was traveling, but I managed to do my raw food/south beach diet combo. Good food, but no exercise today since I was traveling all day:

-2 eggs
-eggwhite omelet with spinach, mushrooms, and asparagus
-mahi mahi tuna with salad greens, cucumber, avocado, and a very tiny bit of high glycemic index vegetables that I wanted them to leave off but they didn't listen (chickpeas, corn, red pepper)

We finished eating dinner about 8:20pm, which was a little later than I wanted but okay. I also drank a TON of water and tea throughout the day.

I felt really full and satisfied from all of this food. The high glycemic index items (chickpeas, corn, and red pepper) totaled probably 2tbsp, so I think it was fine. I know it is kinda bad to focus so much on weight, but that just happens to be my primary food/body concern right now. Objectively, I think all of this food looks really healthy! I'll stick with this plan and see how it goes.

Okay, off to bed!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/24/2008 07:50AM by optimist4life.

Hey girls :-)

Soraya, I think it's good that you are aware of your food issues and you can catch yourself when you think your eating is "off" b/c of them. I'm glad that eating raw is becoming easier! It definitely shouldn't be something that adds stress to your life. Also, I LOVE sweet potatoes too. That's funny, I've been thinking of eating them for a while now! They are one of my favorite foods. I may indulge in one next weekend.

Becky, sounds like you had a great day w/ your sister & friend! And your meals look very healthy and balanced. Do you eat the asparagus raw or cooked? Is it possible to eat it raw? I've never had it before but have been craving it recently and I have no idea why!

I decided today that I want to eat 100% raw 6 days a week, and on the 7th day I can have a cooked meal or food if I choose to. I think this is a good balance for me, I can look forward to having something cooked if I'm craving it, but at the same time I can focus on the delicious raw foods I usually eat. Today I had a bagel w/ raw almond butter and it was really good, but now I'm wiped out! It's amazing how it makes me feel so out of it. Oh well. Maybe next weekend I'll have some sweet potatoes instead! LOL.

Today:

-sprouted grain bagel w/ tons of raw almond butter & strawberry all-fruit jam
*1.5 hours power yoga, 3-4 mile run or some other cardio if I'm too tired to run*
-apple & banana
-apple & banana

I doubt I'll be too hungry for the rest of the day.

I had my usual huge salad last night and it almost killed me, I got SO full I had to lay down! Then I ended up falling asleep til 11 PM! I had already cancelled my plans w/ Adam b/c I felt pretty crappy yesterday, so it was ok. But needless to say, I don't want to go near vegetables today!

Becky, sounds like you had a great time, and it seems that you feel pretty positive about the changes you've made - I'm happy about that. True courage is standing in your truth in the face of what anyone may say; every action we take requires courage, and it just shows how strong you (we) are. Thank you for your kind words and I do appreciate all the support I get from you guys...feels good

Danielle, you can eat asparagus raw - I've done it many times, its just a matter of your own preference / tastes. I've been craving sweet potatoes like MAD for about a month and 1/2, now, and while I have had some raw - its actually pretty good - due to my food texture difficulties I tend to have them baked, mostly. Join me in satisfying the urge; I'd say your body wants it!

Will do my check-in, then I'm off to lounge in bed, maybe nap, and tune in to the Oscar hoopla - one of my guilty pleasures -

_water
-juice of 2 grapefruit and 7 oranges
-10 mandarins
-2 cukes, tomatoes and 1/2 avocado
-cashews
-***prob. a baked sweet potao with some asparagus and cauliflower, slightly steamed (or raw, haven't decided yet)

- appetite's all weird again today, and I feel nauseous just even thinking of greens...oh, well -


Enjoy the rest of your evening, and take good care of yourselves!

Soraya, thanks for telling me a/b the raw asparagus! I keep drooling over it at Trader Joe's- I'm definitely going to get some to have with raw hummus!

Have fun watching the Oscars! Don't worry too much a/b your appetite- just do the best you can. Your body is most likely thanking you for all the great food you give it, so one day w/o greens won't make a difference!

I just wanted to update my food for the day- I got hungry after the gym and really wnated bananas! So here's my real day:

-that damn bagel w/ tons of raw almond butter & strawberry all fruit jam...followed by about 3 liters of water to ward off the impending wheat headache
*1.5 hours AMAZINGLY WONDERFUL power yoga, 45 mins. arc trainer hard intervals*
-4 bananas, apple
-craving tomatoes & carrots, so i'll have a tomato & baby carrots for dinner, followed by another apple. simple, yet delicious. maybe some sliced cucumber too.

Yoga was awesome today! I feel like I'm really getting it. I love how it makes me zone out and get in touch w/ my body! I was feeling so crappy and down before class, and I left class floating on cloud 9 and feeling so happy!

Have a good night, girls! Amy, I hope you're having a great weekend! Can't wait to hear about your adventures :-)

Hi ladies!

I'm back . I was happy to see that all of you are doing well. I really appreciate how supportive we are of each other as we figure things out with raw foodism! I can't really respond to each post right now, but I just wanted to say that!

Anyway, my weekend away with my mom and friend was so much fun. Food wise it was quite good as well. We were up in the Thai countryside so there was plenty of fresh fruit around. I always had fruit and fresh squeezed OJ for breakfast, usually repeated the same for lunch, and then indulged in some vegan cooked Thai dinners. I felt fine doing this and just really enjoyed getting out of the city for a while! My mom is still here and leaving tomorrow, and my friend is going to re-join me in Bangkok on Friday, so I will probably have some more days here and there with higher percentages of cooked food...

Here was today for me:
B: 2 bananas and some papaya chunks, a few sips of OJ
Snack: another banana, and some strawberries and oranges
Lunch: (my mom wanted to go to a local Thai restaurant): Green papaya salad (a famous Thai dish, I ask for a vegan version which is mostly raw except that it is topped with roasted peanuts), and a small portion of noodles with vegetables
Dinner: SALAD! This was so good after being salad deprived while away! I had organic greens, tomatoes, red and yellow peppers, mung bean sprouts, 1/2 an avocado, raw ACV, a splash of Italian dressing, and sea salt and pepper
After Dinner: a whole mango...this might possibly have been the most amazing mango I've ever tasted! Then I had a few dark chocolate squares.

As you can see I've been indulging a little (dark chocolate today!) but I am okay with that! Once my mom and friend leave you'll see more of my normal meals back...Also I did no workout today (lazy!) but my mom and I are going swimming in the AM...

Have a great day everyone!

Amy, its good to hear from you and to know that you're having such a great time. I'm almost envious of your having the good fortunes of being in a beautiful, exotic tropical place - the culture - the fruit!!! Sigh...I'll live vicariously through you for now, and dream of luscious fruit... **drool** LOL

Danielle, you're such a sweetheart! The Oscars were fun; not many big surprises for me. One thing...if you're craving bagels and the wheat affects you so much, why not try gluten-free ones? (I'm a gluten-free goddess myself - gluten intolerant/celiac). Gluten (wheat, barley, rye,etc) leaves me rolling, moaning and crying in pain, among other things!

I'm thrilled that you're enjoying your yoga sessions so much - another yoga woman like me! - though my thing is Kundalini yoga...

Becky, I hope you've had a good day!

I felt SERIOUSLY sicK to my stomach last night...to the point of almost throwing up. Humnnn... SO, I decided to mono eat today and this is where my fruit stash came in extra handy; I always have "hundreds" of bananas in stock , so I've dwelled happily in banana heaven today and may do the same tomorrow. I feel a lot better and I'm scarfing the nanas down like crazy; I guess my body's finding something it likes! And I'm drinking water like nobody's business. Need to stock up on oranges because I can feel a juice fast - er, feast - coming on in a few days...

Got to detox from all the binging on wrong foods - and I mean wrong in that a lot of them are allergins for me - I'm really paying for that now

Have a good night, all!

Amy, I'm so glad you had an awesome weekend! I am amazed by all of your adventures, I only have a picture of Thailand in my head but you are actually experiencing it!

Soraya, I'm so sorry you felt so sick last night! Mono eating was a great idea. I am also obsessed w/ bananas! That's a good idea to try gluten free bagels- are they as chewy and soft as regular bagels? That's what I crave- the chewiness of bread. I used to be quite the carb addict (althouth I actually eat more carbs now than ever!). What type of yoga is Kundalini?

My day was nice, one of my bosses decided to buy me lunch so I had a simple & delish salad. Salads keep me fuller during the day but it's too expensive to have veggies for 2 meals, so I usually just eat fruit. Anyway, here it is:

-banana
*3 mile run, 10 min. power walk*
-2 bananas, 1.5ish T raw almond butter
-banana
-salad w/ mixed greens, tomatoes, french green beans (raw and yummy!) and about 1 T or less of the balsamic vinaigrette; apple
-apple & banana
-big salad w/ romaine, baby romaine, red & yellow peppers, cucs, cauliflower, 2 roma tomatoes and raw ACV; 1.5 raw energy bites

I may have a banana later if I'm hungry.

I feel really weird in my body lately...like it is foreign to me. Not sure why...hopefully it'll pass. Maybe I'm not used to being at this weight yet. It feels very strange, but not necessarily in a bad way. Anyway, I am happy to be getting that bagel out of my system! LOL. Hopefully I'll have a little more energy this week.

Hi Ladies:
Sorry I disappeared yesterday. I hope all is well with both of you!

Danielle: I ate asparagus raw before, but I didn't like it very much that way. It (and kale) were really tough for me to digest raw. Did you like the asparagus raw?

Amy: Glad to hear you had such a great time with your mom!!

Soraya: Glad you are liking the bananas :-). Sorry you didn't feel well -- I hope you are feeling better now.

My raw food/south beach diet plan is going well so far.

Yesterday and today I ate almost exactly the same thing:

-eggs with spinach
-lunch and dinner: salad and some fish
-a few nuts

I also had some sugar free jello. I know it is bad for me, and I am not going to make it a habit, but I really wanted a sweet treat.

No weight lifting so far. However, I did swim a mile both today and yesterday as well as bike to school.

Tomorrow I have some extra time, so I am going to do 30 min of weights in addition to my cardio. Hopefully the first day in a new daily routine to lift weights.

I can't believe how much belly fat I suddenly have! I am not kidding, after eating all of those fruits and lara bars (every day) I definitely have way more belly fat than ever before. Isn't that crazy?! Anyway, hopefully keeping my carbs low & lifting weights will help me get rid of it! Yuck.

Well, have a good night ladies!

Hi Ladies:
I just found out something terrible. This girl, Amy, that I used to cheer with in high school (yeah, I was a cheerleader), was just diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. I feel so, so sad for her! Totally makes me appreciate my physical abilities. It also puts my struggles with weight into perspective.

I think that I need to change my focus -- rather than becoming obsessed with my weight, I need to focus on all of the gifts that I was given physically. I have a strong and able body that rarely gets sick or experiences physical ailments. I am getting to be a very strong swimmer, thanks to my consistent swimming schedule. I am going to participate in a triathlon in August. All is good. A few pesky pounds shouldn't get me so down!

I am feeling good, though, with my new eating habits and am already noticing small positive changes.

Have a good day!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/26/2008 05:27PM by optimist4life.

Hi, im jackie from Jamaia, I started to eat 100 percent raw only three days ago. I am not fat I just want to look and feel good all through life. I enjoy reading you postings, if i run into any problems i will let you know, i also felt a little dizzy but i will take your advice and add some greens, i was on fruits only because i did not have the time to go and get the vegetables. i am going to get them now so I will let you know how things work out. I have lost two pounds already. I weight 138lbs and I am 5ft 71/2 inches. The least i want to weigh is 130. Overall I feel much better though and it is only three days. I alos hate when I am out eating and people make a big fuss over my thinness and what i eat, but when i look at them they are overweight or obese and all eating the wrong type of foods so I just continue to do what I know is good for my body. Have a great day.

Jacks

hi girls! i'm rushed tonight (have to cut up cat meat/clean/get some work done) so this will be quick!

becky, i'm so sorry about the bad news. MS sounds so debilitating and horrible, and for it to happen to someone so young is just devestating. i hope she's doing ok and has lots of support and love around her. you are so right about how something like that puts everything in perspective. without our health, we have nothing! also, i was not a fan of raw asparagus! more on that later, lol.

jacks, hi and welcome to raw foodism! my best advice is to listen to your body! it will tell you what it wants/needs. also, be prepared for some physical and emotional detox in the upcoming weeks. it can be tough, but if raw feels right for you, you will definitely be able to get through it and achieve all of your goals. i LOVE eating raw and can't say enough good things about it!

today i went into the police station and ID'd another suspect...i think he's the one the police have in mind (they give you a bunch of photos, only one is the suspect they are thinking of, and you have to say if one of them is the person who committed the crime). anyway i was kind of unsure of whether this was him or not- and i'd have to testify in court that it was him if he was arrested & went to trial- but long story short i ended up circling & initialing the photo b/c i had to go w/ my gut instinct. i am 99% sure that the photo i circled is the photo of the guy the cops have in mind, so i guess it's up to them now...

no workout today b/c i went to the police station early and have lots to do tonight.

meals:
-3 bananas, 1.5 T raw almond butter
-2 bananas
-2 bananas, apple
-cut up mango
-carrots, cauliflower & 2 asparagus stalks w/ raw zucchini hummus...didn't like the texture of the raw asparagus but i'll try it in a salad and see if that's better. anyway for "dessert" i had 1 raw energy bite & 1 piece of dried mango.

ugh time to cut up raw meat...the cats are doing great on a raw diet though so that's what's most important. i just HATE cutting up meat every 3 days or so! it seems like they're always running out!

Hi Jacks: Good to know that raw food is treating you well so far :-).

Danielle: I bet you will feel relieved once they find the right guy and lock him up. What an ordeal you have been through!! I am amazed at how you seem to really take it in stride.

I am glad to see you ate a mango :-). I can imagine that all of those apples and bananas must be making you bored.

I am really happy with my decision to do South Beach. I think that my body simply needed the protein, and I really feel a lot better now. I am basically the same as I was before, except I have kinda replaced my fruit with protein.

Here is today:
-2 eggs & spinach
-lunch and dinner talapia & salad (greens, red and green pepper, mushrooms, artichoke hearts)
-I also had some nuts -- probably too many & 1 apple. I think one piece of fruit here or there should be okay. I know you aren't supposed to have ANY, but I think I might let myself have one a day or so

I swam a mile and did 30 min of weights (lower body). I am going to lift again tomorrow and do upper body.
I am already feeling leaner! I think I'll maybe weigh myself in a week or so, or not. Maybe it is better to stay away from that scale!

I think the key for me is to eat whole foods -- as close to their original form as possible. The south beach diet also allows tofu, so I might try to replace fish with tofu eventually so no more fish will need to die to feed me. Wow, sounds awful when I put it that way!

Well, thanks for being open to my exploration with non raw and non vegan things.
Natalie Rose's book helps me a lot. She eats fish too, and seems to have a very balanced lifestyle.

Danielle: I am amazed at how you manage to eat the same thing every day. Do you ever get bored?

Well, have a good night, ladies!

Hi Ladies!

Jackie: Welcome!

Becky: So sorry to hear about your friend. You make a good point that we should all be grateful for our health and the things our bodies are able to do. I am actually pretty good at keeping this in mind, usually.

Danielle: I hope they catch the guy! On a separate note, it sounds like you have some very lucky cats...you are so good to them!

So today I was kind of bummed that my mom left and ate some junky food. I am pretty sure that I did this to "ground" myself. I've read about that on this site and it makes sense - I definitely did not need the food but knew it would make me lethargic and tired...and I was in a mopey mood b/c I miss my mom. Does that make sense? Anyway, I didn't completely overdo it but it did put me to sleep for a good 1.5 hours in the middle of the day! Luckily I didn't have to work until 2pm today! I am going to forgive myself for this one - I fully realize why I did it and that will help me prevent it in the future!

Anyway, here was my day:

AM workout: 6 mile run, 1/2 mile walk, stretching
B: about 12oz OJ, 3 bananas, one mango, and some black sesame butter (this is not raw)
L: 1/2 avocado and some nuts (was really craving fats...again it was probably emotional craving to ground myself). When those didn't ground me enough I had some crackers and pretzels with jam, ugh...and that was enough to put me to sleep, lol
PM Workout: I swam 3/4 of a mile b/c I felt so lethargic and gross.
Dinner: Was not even really hungry but had some grapes and pineapple

Ok, so it wasn't my best day...But I am looking forward to 100% raw tomorrow...I think I need it after today and my weekend vacation!

I feel like I'm back at college taking a lecture or something every time I come to this blog, what with the note s I have to scribble to remind me of who said what, and what I want to say to whom - whew! Gives my brain a jogging each time!!!

Danielle, the texture of gluten-free baked goods is slightly different as different grains are utilised, and the quality also varies according to the company/manufacturer; Kinnickinnick and EnerG seem to be the brands of choice for most celiacs I know (per the forum at Celiac.com). As for describing what Kundalini yoga is, check out [www.3ho.org] does a much better job than I would!

I hope that your attacker is brought into custody soon; I know it would bring some peace of mind to you...

Becky, yes, thank you, I'm feeling like a new woman! Two days of banana bliss later its amazing how much better and lighter I feel. I never thought I'd be able to eat nanas for one whole day - far less two - but when your body truly wants/needs something its interesting how your tastes can change! This morning/afternoon I briefly visited grape paradise; nope, actually this began last night - yummnnn. Then upon arriving home I juiced two grapefruit and about seven oranges...HEAVEN! You should see my fruit stash area - so many mandarins, oranges, grapes and nanas...I love it!

I was thinking about what you said regarding your body's -belly's - reaction to fruit, and thinking how truly individual this way of eating is. I had lost weight after going gluten-free, then more as I became vegan/high-raw/100% raw, but I saw almost instantaneous meltdown after I upped the amount of fruit I was eating - eating the juicer fruit first, then denser ones - and saving the most dense foods, ie fats, for the end of the day. It made such a difference in my digestion, and I lost a lot of inches from my thighs, hips and waist (and tummy), and I really had a belly before!

I too am very sorry to hear about your friend, and am glad to see that it has given you a different perspective and a new appreciation for yourself and your vital, vivacious body...

Amy, here are some {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}. It must have been great to have your Mum visit and it must suck now that she's gone. Count your blessings that you had that wonderful time and that you have the beautiful relationship that you do...

Jackie, good to see you here! Another island woman...I'm from the C'bean too, though I'm now in NY. Please keep us up-to-date on your progress, and feel free to ask any questions - nothing is (too) silly!

You women are all great! I love coming to see how everyone is doing! If you don't mind, I'd like to know when everyone's b'day is so that we can celebrate here on your special day

Have a great evening!!!

Hi girls! Not much time again tonight- I'm headed to the gym b/c I want to take an abs class tonight :-) I am STILL feeling so exhausted, I'm not sure why...

Becky, I know this is weird, but I never get bored with apples & bananas! Thank god, b/c most other fruit is way too expensive. I buy fresh-squeezed OJ and I'd buy frozen fruit for smoothies, but my mini-fridge's freezer is frozen over and there's a jack daniel's bottle from over a year ago and frozen cat meat stuck in it! And I can't afford to buy fresh fruit like strawberries, pineapple, mango, watermelon etc. very often at all when it's out of season!

Amy, I totally understand what you mean about wanting to ground yourself w/ cooked foods. Food can definitely be used for emotional reasons or to numb us- it's so strange how we are awakened to this now that we're raw! I never realized what kind of relationship I had with food until I went raw.

Soraya, you are so sweet! My birthday is August 18, so not for a while, lol. Also, I'm glad you got what you wanted out of your banana mono fast! What would we do w/o bananas? LOL.

Here's my day:

b: banana (not hungry)
s: 2 bananas
l: lara bar, apple
s: 2 bananas
d: some baby carrots, a tomato and some cuc slices. I dipped about 6 of the carrots in raw hummus. then I had an apple & a banana
w/o: 45 mins. arc trainer or elliptical, 30 mins. abs class

I may have another banana later if I need it. Have a good night, ladies!

Soraya, I love hearing about your fruit stash! I love bananas, grapes, and oranges...I have always gravitated towards super sweet fruits. I guess that is my way of making up for the sweet tooth I had when I was younger - only then I gravitated towards chocolate, sweet cereals, ice cream, etc!

Anyway, I hope everyone is doing well. I had a much better day eating wise today. I started with a very light workout - I've noticed lately that it is much easier to keep my eating in check when I work out less. As much as I used to love long runs I have been doing shorter ones because they energize me just as much without draining me/causing me to crave non-raw things for the rest of the day. It's really interesting to observe, actually.

Here was my day:

AM Workout: 3 mile run/walk, then 25 minutes power yoga
B: 4oz OJ (I didn't have many oranges this AM), 3 bananas, pineapple chunks
L: Grapes, a small mixed salad with a little oil and vinegar, and a few bites of vegan curry (I am in love with Thai curries and small portions of this without rice seem to leave me feeling fine)
D: Huuuuge salad with organic lettuce, watercress, carrots, yellow peppers, purple cabbage, tomatoes, and corn (not raw), with ACV, a splash of organic Italian dressing, and fresh pepper
Dessert: a spoonful of black sesame butter...as I said before this is just like peanut butter except made from black sesame seeds. Unfortunately it is not raw...I can't find raw nut butters anywhere here! Anyway, I don't feel bad about it b/c it actually has 30% RDA Calcium per serving...and who says you need to drink milk to get calcium?? Anyway, raw tahini would be a better option if I was home!

So besides the corn, sesame butter, and small amount of curry I was pretty raw today. I felt good too...very balanced with no annoying cravings. Speaking of corn, is raw corn worth a try in my salads? I have never had it and have a tough time believing it would satisfy me like roasted corn!

Have a great day ladies!

apple430 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

> Anyway, I hope everyone is doing well. I had a
> much better day eating wise today. I started with
> a very light workout - I've noticed lately that it
> is much easier to keep my eating in check when I
> work out less. As much as I used to love long
> runs I have been doing shorter ones because they
> energize me just as much without draining
> me/causing me to crave non-raw things for the rest
> of the day. It's really interesting to observe,
> actually.

I'm smiling because this is exactly was I was going to suggest that you (and Becky) try doing, but wasn't sure how you'd take it so I hesitated. Funny! I need not to doubt myself so much! I love to work out as well but shorter workouts (and I find, taking a day or two to rest completely) work really well...Mind you, I do love my long, hardcore workouts at times, though!

Hope everyone is well and doing fine; I'll be back later in the day to check in and see how everyone is doing...

I love having extra fruit around! I never thought I'd be eating this way -and this much fruit - at all! I have a big bowl of black grapes I'll be devoring for the next two meals

Thanks for your birthday info., Danielle...I have to enter that into my calender. Mine's July 6th...

Later!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/28/2008 04:40PM by Soraya.

Amy, raw corn is great in salads - granted that I can no longer have it as I'm allergic to corn now - but it's really good; try it and let us know what you think! You HAD to mention roasted corn - that's one of our top treats back home - corn roasted directly over the fire until the kernels were dark brown/black...yummmmmnnnn....

Hi Ladies:
Just wanted to say a quick hello!

Amy: I am happy to hear that you are back on track. Sorry you miss your mom :-(. I know how that feels!

Danielle: I am continually amazed at your discipline, and ability to eat the same thing every day. Very impressive!

Soraya: I really like your perspective. I think that your many experiences give you a lot of wisdom that helps the rest of us :-).

I am doing well on my SBD plan for now. I bought some vegan boca burgers. I LOVE them, and it is a good alternative to fish. I was talking to my friend today about switching from raw to SBD, so I could lose 10-15 more pounds (although I really am aiming for 25). She was like, "Where would you lose 10 pounds from?!"
My friend just invited me to be her bride's maid (I am so excited!!), so I needed to give her my measurements for the dress. I was SHOCKED! My waist is only 1.5 inches, and my hips are only 2 inches larger than when I was in high school! More than 10 years ago! Maybe I don't need to lose weight, and my body is being stubborn because I am where I am supposed to be? Who knows. I am still convinced that I shouldn't be eating after 8pm, so that's my big food challenge.

I am happy, though, to supplement my mostly raw diet with some cooked protein. I really do feel a lot better having some eggs, fish and boca burgers. I do feel guilty about the fish, so I don't know how much longer I will be eating that.

I am going to continue to eat a foundation of raw foods, supplemented with cooked protein, and stick to low glycemic index foods. Plus, not eat after 8pm. However, rather than weighing myself, which only leads to disaster, I am going to focus on my health and how I feel. Also, I may pull out a tape measure again in a month to see how my high protein, low carb, weight lifting plan is changing my body.

I do feel leaner now than I did a week ago.

Today I did an am workout -- 45 min on the elliptical machine & 15 min of stretching and core strengthening
Wednesday: I swam a mile and did 15 minutes of upper body strengthening
Tuesday: Swam a mile and did 30 minutes of lower body strengthening.

I have been sticking with my SBD plan, but have had about an apple a day. Also, I ate after my work out last night because I didn't finish until 9:30pm and hadn't eaten since 6pm. I think I am going to make a small compromise for myself and my 8pm rule. I think I will bring almonds & cut up veggies to the gym with me so I can eat them right after I exercise and won't be hungry.

Anyway, I really feel like my food plan is finally coming together! This is a good balance of raw eating, enough protein, and feeling good about what I am doing. I am feeling pretty pleased about it :-).

Soraya, thanks for your suggestion about exercising less. However, I really am quite content doing 45-60 min of cardio and 15-30 min of strength training each day. Not ready to give that up quite yet :-).

Have a good day, ladies! Thanks for sharing in my journey :-).

Becky, I can only imagine the look on your face when you realised what your measurements are now in relation to what they were ten years ago ...I would've loved to be a fly on THAT wall!!! I am really proud of the progress you - and everyone else - are making: you're not afraid of re-evaluation and necessary change; you are aware that you are the only person who can do right by yourself by doing what works and feels good to you at a given moment, and you have given yourself room to evolve and let the true essense of who you are shine through. You are all amazingly strong, powerful women, and I hope that you are able to see that. I'm proud to be in present company!!!

Your exercise regime is cool! If you need to adjust at anytime I know that you are in touch enough with your body to know what to do...

Amy and Danielle, I hope you've had a good day!

Anywho, here's my food for the day;

- juice and pulp of 3 grapefruit and 7 oranges
- @ a pound of black grapes
- smoothie of 3 big bananas and 2 cups mixed berries
- bunch of kale with half avocado and half chopped red bell pepper
- small handful of sunflower seeds

...and I am truely satiated and full . I've decided not to worry too much about eating too much or too little as compared to others, but to concentrate on what my body urges me towards, and trying to get as much variety with what I actually can eat - I have many food allergies / intolerances, and then there are a few foods that you just could not pay me enough to touch owing to texture/taste issues. I'm thinking of looking again for a good multi to take, but it's hard for me to find something that I like / doesn't contain weird additives or allergens. I was taking a B 12 supplement as well - after weeks of searching for - and realised that as careful as I was, there's something in it that I'm allergic to...AGAIN! May look into the B12 patch as a last resort... ;(

I've also decided that I'll give nutritiondata a shot for a while, just to have a gander at how I'm measuring up nutritionally; I want to make sure that there are no deficiency issues popping up anywhere... But I still think I will add a multi again to shore things up, regardless...

You guys ROCK!

Have a good one!