Hey everyone! Sorry to have been MIA the past few days...it's been a busy weekend, though in a good way, for the most part. Lots of labor day shenannigans, lots of SAD eaters around. Stayed raw for the most part, though, so I'm happy about that!

Sunday night some friends had a party they named "wine science," in which everyone brought a cheap trader joe's wine and we did blind taste tests. Um, taste tests on TWENTY SEVEN bottles of wine. I learned pretty quickly to only pour a swallow of each and still only managed to make it through half of 'em. At any rate, I'm pleased to report that I avoided ALL the crackers & cheese (even though I was pretty hungry), and even happier to report that three charles shaw wines (two buck chuck!) cracked the top five. Now I feel validated in my Frugal McCheapster ways.

Then yesterday my roommate & I hosted a little BBQ in our yard. I made raw sushi from the recipe in Raw Food, Real World, and it was a HUUUUGE hit! Jicama/pine nut rice, marinated shitakes, avocado, pea sprouts, green onion, jalepeno & ginger, all rolled up in (toasted, but all I could find) nori. They went like little, raw hotcakes. Everyone was also a big fan of my raw watermelon gazpacho. Of course, there were also hot dogs & burgers and whatnot going on, but I was happy to stick to my raw contributions.

Anyhoozers, I don't remember 100% what I ate the past few days, but I'll do my best to recreate it. The biggest problem I had this weekend was just not eating enough. It's been 100 degrees & up for the past few days, which really takes away my appetite, but I know that with raw in particular I have to be careful. The "you look...skinny" backlash has already started up a bit. I never know what to say to that!! It's like, "uh...thanks? I guess?" Anyway, I plan to chow down the next few days to make up for it...

Sunday:

AM: 1 huge white peach.
LUNCH: 1 bowl sprouted lentil soup (from Juliano's book). So good. Definitely going to make it again, maybe today. Accompanied by a handful of raw rosemary "quackers."
DINNER: Uh, wine.
POST-WINE SNACK: handful of dried strawberries, couple of dates, 1/2 an avocado, spoonful of raw hummus, couple of romaine leaves dipped in raw tahini

Monday:

AM: Smoothie - banana, pineapple, nectarine, spinach, cashew butter, maca, vitagreen, honey, ice

LUNCH: raw sushi rolls, watermelon gazpacho, grapes. 2 beers.

DINNER: Smoothie - banana, strawberry, pineapple, honey, coconut oil, hemp protein, ice

SNACK: handful dried strawberries.

It's so nice to be back here and see everyone's posts. I wish you all the best!

~AshCat

Thank you all

Today has been very hard, was just drained and crying on the way to work, been crying on and off most of the day. Just been really hard, so think perhaps tommorow I will just take some time .. try to sort my head and get some sleep

Had some tomato blended soup and a few pots of babyfood

Hopefully tommorow will be easier

Thanks for the support

xx

Ashcat Wrote:
> Sunday night some friends had a party they named
> "wine science," in which everyone brought a cheap
> trader joe's wine and we did blind taste tests.
> Um, taste tests on TWENTY SEVEN bottles of wine. I
> learned pretty quickly to only pour a swallow of
> each and still only managed to make it through
> half of 'em.
>
i love trader joe wines! the cheaper the better LOL. there`s one called paper moon or blue moon or purple moon...something like that. it`s like 3 bucks and it`s awesome LOL. silly you`re not supposed to drink it, you`re sposed to swish and spit. i swallow LOL
patty

khale Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Hi dewey
>
> these are actually good questions that I assume
> you are directing at me. I do not have a previous
> history with an ED. And if by "depressed" you mean
> am I losing energy or low-energied the answer
> would be "yes". Anxious? yes. And there are
> stressors "in my world", of course, but this would
> be true of most everyone, right? I have no doubts
> that this will pass dewey and I do appreciate your
> concern.

sorry for mistaking you with another person on the list as far as an ED goes. now i remember who i was thinking of so what has changed in your world to change your outlook and your responses to your stressors? yes, we all have stress and what not but yours has escalated and i don`t want to see you down and out. you`ve always been an inspiration to others and i feel your pain

> What is important in the context of this list and
> forum is that I motivate myself to get to the
> grocery and get some food in this house. I've been
> working everyday and ending the stint very tired,
> so that all I want to do is get home. So, I've
> been eating whatever is here (lots of bananas and
> oatmeal). Seems like only a minor bump in the road
> doesn't it? At any rate, today I intend to scale
> it. lol

i know you will scale it...just don`t kill yourself! and get some damn food in the house besides nanas!! you know better LOL.
patty

i stayed raw all day had a banana for bkfst cuz i was running outta time for my smoothie. a huge salad of spinach,red bell pepper,cukes,blueberries, and cilantro. diner was 3 leaves of romaine topped with homemade quacamole and 2 glasses organic red wine...man i need the wine after a day with 31 3rd graders! LOL
patty

Good Morning

I've wrestled for over an hour this morning about whether I could handle posting here, and if so, what in the f**q I could possibly say. There is, in my opinion, no real value in listing my complaints; I am in horror of the remotest lapse into a state of whining, and to simply state that I am depressed is to open myself up to perceptual misunderstanding depending on each individuals definition of the word.

That I am experiencing a deep discouragement is probably the best all around way to express it. This is being characterized, most troubling of all, with a tendency to not give a @#$%& - not in a self righteous way at all, but with simply not enough energy to care. Every step is as if through a thick wall of mud and I must push to accomplish anything and everything. There is a growing awareness of how much tension I am holding in my body and a strong need for release. I can not cry, as an example, which I know that I need to do and I find my body and mind way too restless - way too wound -and its difficult to relax. I am indifferent to food more or less - more because of lack of motivation and less because I'm simply not hungry - and so I am eating carelessly or very little AND carelessly.

Yesterday a banana/blueberry smoothie - much later half of a casabah melon - and much later still a cup of chocolate ice cream : / not enough food and almost entirely sugar. not good. especially as I'm already wrapped up in a cycle of wander - sit - wander - sit - wander _ without the apparent ability to focus or concentrate. But I know what I need to eat that's not the point. The point is that there doesn't seem to be one...or not one I can sink my teeth into anyway.

hmmm

in truth i feel a little better having written that out

thanks for the ear,

khale

Khale,
I am sending you much love and positive energy. I have been lurking on this post forever yet I am hesitant to make the "All-Raw" commitment because when I "Fail" I eat junk. I believe that it is better for me to focus on eating a healthy vegan diet with as much RAW greatness as possible than to continue to put myself through the seemingly-endless cycle of raw VS chocolate/sugar/HFCS/ etc.
Thank you for putting yourself out there so openly and honestly for all to see. Your journey is an inspiration.

Keep on truckn'

All my love Khale

I am going to bail out now for a while, feel the ED thread is more apt at the minute! Will hopefully dive back in at somepoint

xx

Hi Everyone
Khale pleased that writing out your post helped.

Still on the green smoothies and a few nuts. I also had a few bananas and nectarines today as i think i felt hungry.

Today has been a strange day.
I have found myself looking in the fridge and cupboards a lot, just looking for something, but i dont know what. It cant be hunger, as i can actually walk away without choosing anything. I decided to drink more to see if that helped.

just feeling a little detached / slightly dream like and on some level maybe looking to food to 'cure' or ground that feeling.
Who knows whats really happening, it just is!
Thankfully i have had a busy day, otherwise i think i would have grazed all day!

Best wishes to you all
Lorretta

Hey everyone!

Yesterday I went to Houston to be with my man in a hotel because his company sent him to Ohio first thing this morning. We all went to a great restaurant called The Hobbit Cafe. We have been going there for years. The food was better than ever. I could have made some healthier choices but I was craving mexican food and I believe it was the healthiest cooked mexican food I could get. After that we dropped the kids at a friends and had a night alone. Whoo hoo!!

Yesterday I ate:

-Tea*
-banana and pineapple smoothie (yum)
- I think five bananas
-some raisins
-tortilla chips*and salsa*
-grilled vegetable enchiladas* topped with goat cheese* served with brown rice* and black beans*
-martini*

Didn't feel great afterward. Woke up at 4am dying of thirst and not feeling fantasic like I am growing accustomed to feeling. My baby had quite a bit of diarhea this afternoon. His meal last night was mostly rice and beans which normally doesn't appear bother him.

I have the strange feeling of discontent Loretta spoke of often, especially after having eaten cooked.

for those in distress... forgive me for jumping in here, but...

did you ever just want to run, or walk, or bike or swim, or whatever, until your body begs you to stop?

just a thought...not that you haven't thunk it, just puttin it out there....

works for me

fresh Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> for those in distress... forgive me for jumping in
> here, but...
>
> did you ever just want to run, or walk, or bike or
> swim, or whatever, until your body begs you to
> stop?
>
> just a thought...not that you haven't thunk it,
> just puttin it out there....
>
> works for me

good idea fresh. i know it makes a huge difference in my feelings and getting my head right when i beat myself to the ground with a workout. no, not every workout just those times when you really need to purge anger hatred hurt disappointment jealousy fear and any other sensations that drag me into a deep hole. i find that when i go through my periods of darkness i emerge wiser and better off than before. it`s like a transformation for me where i climb another level up in my quest we call life. i focus on that because if you focus on the dark it will swallow you

i had a smoothie of kale,banana,sesame seeds,blueberries and strawberries for bkfst.
a huge spinach salad with cukes,peppers,a few blueberries and goji berries for lunch
a plum and about a cup of organic black grapes for a snack
for dinner 2 slices hemp bread with organic peanut butter
patty

God yes, fresh. I just want to move until I can't anymore. If only I could bend my knee...

Khale, I'm glad that venting a little helped. More power to ya.

As for yesterday, I had a smoothie in the morning, the usual. Then for dinner we went to celebrate at a raw cafe in Redondo Beach called Terra Bella. Had 1/2 a cacao/maca smoothie, 1 raw taco ("refried beans," guac, salsa, etc, in a romaine 'shell'), and some heirloom tomato & nut 'mozzarella' salad. Got VERY full. Later for a snack had fresh apple/fennel/cucumber/ginger juice. Delicious!

The celebration was over finding out that a TV script I wrote is a semi-finalist at this year's Austin Film Festival. It's pretty cool - top 6 out of hundreds of scripts (they said they got over 500 this year)! I was a finalist two years ago too, then didn't submit last year. That makes me two for two! Which is really nice validation in an industry that just RIDDLES you with self-doubt. And is nearly impossible to break into (even if you're in film school, sadly, which is the case with me). So I spent the afternoon coordinating with friends, booking flights, etc. Now I have to start researching raw eats in Austin!!!

congrats on the script ashcat
patty

Thanks, patty!

Today I felt great, as though everything I ate immediately fueled me up.

AM: Smoothie: banana, 1 tbsp cashew butter, maca, 1 tsp. raw honey, e3live, nutmeg, cinammon, ice

LUNCH: salad w/ greens, broccoli, radish, carrot, avocado, tomato, sprouts w/ acv, shallot & evoo dressing

DINNER: bowl sprouted lentil soup w/ rosemary crackers

SNACK: watermelon

Might try to eat another banana later on, just for extra calories. I bought a cheap scale today out of curiosity and found out I'm down to 120...that's about an 11-12 lb loss in the past month. Uh oh. I'm 5'8, so the most I'd be okay with losing is *maybe* another five pounds or so.

Does anyone else have this problem? I know some of you are trying to lose weight, and I've definitely been there before, so I feel kind of obnoxious with this 'problem.' At the same time, any advice on how to slow the process down would be much appreciated...this happened the last time I went raw and is partly why I stopped.

I can't believe that the Hobbit is still in Houston! mygod! I used to eat there all the time in the mid-70's. I loved that place!

fresh: yeah. I've been experimenting with some tension releasing exercises that do seem to be helping. Thanks. Your advice is always welcomed.

lurkerfriend: yes. I go through that. All raw for days and then bam! chocolate ice cream or some other junk. I agree that when the yo-yo is that drastic that it is best to add some high-end cooked for awhile until you stabilize better. Thanks for the vote of confidence too, I greatly appreciate it.

rawdanceruk: whatever works!

I did much better yesterday. I rearranged my work schedule and stayed home - slept a lot and rested and experimented with some tension releasing devices that helped - and ate more sensibly. I had a banana, then later a spinach salad with an orange and half an avocado and then last night I had brown rice over a bed of spinach with the other half of the avocado and some diced tomatoe.

The discomfort in my gut/side is still there but it is getting better. I wish that I knew someone who is really good at moving energy around as it feels very much like blocked energy.

you guys are all so kind,

talk soon,

khale

Loretta wrote:
<<<<pakd4fun
Im thinking about buying Ani Phyo's book.
I would like a few 'meal' recipes that i could share with my family, as i am still living on smoothies at the moment.
I have quite a few recipe books but my body does not like complicated recipes or dehydrated stuff. Ani's recipes look quite simple, and i could adapt them to suit my requirements.
I love carrot apple beet ginger and lemon juice (Its my favourite)
Hope you can post some pics of your new kitchen! >>>>>

I like Ani Phyo's book for it's simplicity. There are not a whole lot of long ingredient lists or dehydrating. When a recipe does call for dehydrating it is for a shorter time than my other books (to retain moisture) and is usually optional. It is also filled with tons of green tips amd there is a section for dogs. I think it is my most used raw book so far.

Khale wrote:
<<<Every step is as if through a thick wall of mud and I must push to accomplish anything and everything. >>>

Khale- Maybe the thick mud is all your Sh** built up and one last push is all that is needed to get to the other side. Heave ho and don't stop pushing through.


Sorry I am not responding and replying to all your posts lately. I am so busy. I am headed to Houston tomorrow (Friday) and coming back Saturday Eve. I may be MIA for a few days. I plan to stay high raw with some healthy cooked. I am feeling great and don't have the least bit of want for crappy junk food.



Yesterday i ate:
-Tea*
-two slices of raisin ezekial bread*
-Kombucha (it said raw and live on it. My first time to get this. It was bottled and fizzy. The taste was wierd at first but then kept finding myself wanting more. i got one for my daughter too and she was the same way. We felt revived after such a big trip.
-we had a sandwich of raw vegan inside and ezekial bread* outside and chips* for dinner. Sometimes the day after we eat cooked we are restless for something cooked the next day. I didn't feel very good all day, as expected.
-tea*

Today I ate:

-Tea*
-figs
-mixed greens with lemon, flax oil and salt
-more figs
--tea*
-carrot, beet, apple and ginger juice (so yummy and beautiful, made extra for our trip)
-raw gazpacho
About to have tea*

I feel raw and strong. Candida is on the run!!!

Oh Ashcat, congrats on your script. You must be very talented. I wish I could hop on over to Austin to see you.

i've been feeling some heavy detox lately since i've been eating a lot lighter foods, like feeling really jittery and can't stop thinking of food (cooked or raw!) even JUST after i've eaten. it's proposterous !!! i'm happy that i can finally do this already, get it over with, and get back to that natural warm feeling high!

breakfast: 2 bananes, 1 nectarine, 1 kiwi.

lunch: big bowl of delicious tomato &basil soup! then some marinated mushrooms.

dinner: some strawberries, 1 necarines, 1 peach, some vegetable soup.

my body right now is like obsessed with wanting to eat cooked vegan food and i feel starving right after i eat. it's not getting any though !! hahhh !! take THIS cooked food addiction. other than that, i feel pretty good.

I'm feeling much more solid. My spirits are higher and I'm feeling more relaxed, which is key I think.

Yesterday I had a spinach, banana and blueberry smoothie, half of a large casabah melon and then last night I had a bowl of baby greens with a tsp or two of coconut oil rubbed in, a sliced orange mixed in with that and about a quarter cup (maybe a little more) of brown rice on top of that.

Yesterday I attempted the Tibetan Five Rites again after several weeks of not doing them. One of them really stretched this place in my gut/back that's bothering me. It's like the whole left side of my gut is wanged up, but I think the stretch may be good for it.

So long as I can keep my spirits up and my attitude right I feel like I'm gonna be alright.

have a great day my peoplez,

khale

good news kale! glad you`re feeling better
patty

I'M SO SICK OF THIS! i'm fasting soon. i'm sick of my body thinking it is starving because apparently it's taking me 5 lightyears to completely adjust to raw food. if i ate whenevr my body told me i was hungry i would eat probably non stop! and im sick of feeling like i did on cooked food. irritable. i want to purge. purge everything. purge my former way of being, thinking, and eating. i want my body to forget that cooked food existed and to just live pure and whole and cleansed. i'm sick of feeling like i'm living in this in-between.

oh AND i ran out of red bell pepper so i used green pepper insteatd in my chili. BIG MISTAKE! it was soooo disgusting, the flavor of the green pepper ruined everything! i hate green peppers! i feel so bad for wasting food but i can't eat it or i'll be sick!!

anyways. i want to fast starting tomorrow. the only thing is i work on my feet all day and i'm scared i might faint or just feel really crappy and i need my good spirits!! but then again. there's so much junk i want to get rid of it's hardly a sacrifice to me. i'm just feeling really emotional about this i guess. and scared that i won't be able to do it. i don't care !

today.

breakfast: 2 kiwis, 2 bananas, 1 nectarine, 1 peach, 1 glass fresh squeeze oj.

lunch: tomato basil soup, marinated mushrooms, 2 bananas, nectarine.

dinner: tiny bit of chili, nectarine.


FAST STARTING TOMORROW.

Whoa! applebaby, slow down. I think that I know exactly how you feel, but really, all you are really doing is being impatient with yourself and tensing up. If you can relax, the process will actually go faster rather than the other way around.

This is where I mess myself up too, so I'm speaking from experience.

Judging from your posted menu it doesn't appear that you are eating that much food. No harm in adding more if you are hungry or not satisfied.

khale

Busy weekend! Can barely remember what I've been eating lately, but I'm happy to report it's been 100% raw, except for some green tea.

As for yesterday, Friday the 7th, I had:

AM: Smoothie - banana, sunflower seeds, apple/raspberry juice

SNACK: peach

PM: Big salad w/ baby spinach, shitakes, mango, scallion, cucumber, corn, avocado in a tahini/garlic/lemon/olive oil dressing.

Also, two glasses red wine @ a party.

khale Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Whoa! applebaby, slow down. I think that I know
> exactly how you feel, but really, all you are
> really doing is being impatient with yourself and
> tensing up. If you can relax, the process will
> actually go faster rather than the other way
> around.
>
> This is where I mess myself up too, so I'm
> speaking from experience.
>
> Judging from your posted menu it doesn't appear
> that you are eating that much food. No harm in
> adding more if you are hungry or not satisfied.
>
> khale


would it be a bad idea to fast though? because before i was even vegan 6 months ago i ate a lot of processed unhealthy foods as well as VERY unhealthy fatty meats and i want to be clean inside. i hear fasting helps your body to clean itself out. i realize i guess i am being very impatient, but this whole thing has kind of happened to me rather fast sicne going vegetarian 6 months ago. i guess i just want everything right now! and that takes lots of time and patience. but anyhow, today i did do a water fast all day. i kind of wanted it to be at least 2 days, is there anything wrong or unhealthy with that do you think?

i kind of just had a bad day yesterday. i'm feeling a bit better today.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/09/2007 01:55AM by applebaby.

Morning

Applebaby: nothing wrong with doing a fast at all, but you want to be aware that there are "effects" or consequences to cleaning out or detoxing too quickly and its generally not advisable to rush it.

Only you can make these decisions. Personally, I try not to fiddle too drastically with my diet when I'm feeling internal pressure or impatience. You want to be sure that you are listening to your body and not imposing a "strong will" upon it. You can push too hard this way and it invariably backfires.

You and I started out the same way. I was essentially eating anything and everything too when I began transitioning to raw. I think its important to accept that we won't turn things around "overnight". But hey!, I'll bet you already feel a great deal better, right? Don't forget to congratulate yourself on the progress you've already made.

khale

Here's my yesterday (Sat, the 8th):


AM: Juice - apple, carrot, cucumber, pear, ginger

LUNCH: Salad - baby spinach, corn, shallot, red pepper, mango, tahini & lemon

SNACK: 1/2 a white peach

DINNER: Garden salad w/ cukes, tomato, carrot & romaine. Tiny bit of sesame dressing & lemon (not raw, at a restaurant. They literally didn't even have olive oil they could bring out for me. Sheesh.) Also a little bit of cooked edamame.

LATE NIGHT SNACK: Smoothie - banana, raw cacao, honey, soaked cashews, cinnamon, cayenne, maca, e3live

This morning my roomie & I hit the Hollywood farmer's market. I actually convinced her to go raw with me for the next month! She's seen the results in me and is ready to give it a go. It's adorable...she's been studying my raw cookbooks and is making shopping lists for different recipes. Tonight she's gonna make some cured eggplant from Juliano's book, which I haven't tried yet, so I'm excited.

At any rate, so far today I've snacked at market samples (bits of peach, pear, apple, grapefruit, tangerine, date, etc). Then for lunch I had a small salad w/ grapefruit, a perfect tiny avocado & spinach, as well as a few bites of sprouted barley tabouli from the sprout man.

Oh, and we got some new raw mango honey from a small organic beekeeper. Oh my god...

Wow. We are at the Fifth Week already. I must admit that a huge chunk of this time is a bit of a blur to me. During most of it I've been preoccupied with this back/gut thang; battling discouragement and other difficulties. I've been less "on top" of my own diet this past month than I have in the entire year or so that I've been a participant on this forum. Thank goodness for the focus brought to this thread by all of you. If it had been left entirely up to me I fear the thread would have fizzled by now.

I don't want to give the impression that this past month has been a bust or a waste for me. I've actually learned a great deal. I've realized that there are other issues of importance beside diet that need to be attended and that the raw diet and other excellent endeavors are the flowering of the root of motivation, and that during a time of crisis one can learn from whence strength, motivation, and courage comes. (I have to thank David Zane Mason and Anaken for clues in this regard)

Ashcat: Great that your friend is trying raw with you. There's no denying that having someone close embarking on this journey with you is very helpful. Ya'll have fun!

Yesterday I sipped on fresh juices through most of the day and then ended by sharing a cooked meal with family. It's amazing to me how dehydrating cooked food is. I never noticed this before attempting raw. The dehydrating nature of cooked alone will make a person feel badly - how do those who rarely, if ever, eat raw fruits and vegetables maintain hydration while eating all that cooked food!? They don't. That's why books like, "You're not sick, you're thirsty" come to be written I guess. Anyway, this morning I woke up constipated. LOL and THIRSTY! And it's a quality of thirst that water alone doesn't sate. Now I understand why the Fruitarian One chooses a juicy fruit when he's thirsty. I don't know the science behind it, but its experientially clear to me that juicy raw fruit and vegetables hydrate the body much more completely than does water alone.

anyway, I'm still here guys and feeling better everyday. Thanks to all of you for hangin in.

Khale