hey sweets..yeah that is scary going to a dark place!! but glad you snapped out of it..i tried to get ahold of ya haha you must be super busy..me too though..but wanted to say hello!!! i am packing up all my stuff..it is going to feel soooo good to get it all packed and squared away you know?? hmm well anyways take care and have a wonderful evening
love ya doll
sach
xoxoxoxoxo

Much peace and love!!!
EarthAngel
Xoxo

Hey all .I ate a lot of cooked today .Of course all vegan and no sugar or wheat but still. I;m not guilting myself. Just feel kinda heavy adn lethargic. Goign out with friends tonight after i see a show. I'll write on everyone's pages tomorrow. Love you guys and hope all is well. Hey sweets didn't see a text from you...weird

xoxo,
Starfruit

hey hun...yeah i text you to see how your day was and how things were going haha..oh well....hmm sounds like you have a fun night going out tothe show with friends!! have fun hun!!
love always
sach
xoxoxoxo

Much peace and love!!!
EarthAngel
Xoxo

Hi sweetie. I have a friend who always used to tell me when I'd get all in my head: "Your head is a really bad neighborhood to be walking in". LOL He was so right!
Don't worry about the cooked. Today is a new day like no day before and you can choose to be whoever you want to be. The most important thing is that you take good care of yourself and make yourself happy- whatever that looks like. We can choose to be happy now- no matter how impossible it may seem @ times. I speak from personal experience. We are here for you.

I ate a bunch of crappy foods last night too. he he. New day, new choice, new me.


www.inaia.com

hey there haha inaia that is funnY!! a good little saying i like it!!
love earthangel
xoxxoxoxoxoxo

Much peace and love!!!
EarthAngel
Xoxo

oh my god that is such a good saying hehe
well i just took a really long walk. It was nice. I talked to Sach for part of it and then i just kept on walking .It was so good to finally hear her lovely voice. Today wasn't so successful in tersm of 100% raw butit was good in that i decided that i'm going to stop weighign yself everyday. I haven't done that since i was 13 so it's kind of scary to me but it's what i need.
i was realyl homesick today. I woke up crying .Sometimes i just feel so young and alone in this juge city. Other times i feel like i own it. This was not one of those days. I felt so small like could just blow away and no one would notice. I miss being taken care of.
My dad's going to coem stay with me for a couple days next week. I'm so happy. I miss him .Speaking of which Daddy is slowly but surley goign raw. IN fact i think he is doing better than i am haha. I'm really proud of him.
I just started reading some of my old posts. They are helping me .I forgot how well i was doing those couple months.
I ate a lot of cooked at work all weekend and felt sick sick sick. I think my fule is gonna be no eating at work cuase i can't handle it right now. Back to square one. Gym tomorrow.
Thanks everyone!

xoxo,
Starfruit

hey love!! it was wonderful to hear you darlin voice as welL!! i was so excited you called haha..i was just packing away lol...i still have so much left but oh well!! congrats on doing well with not weighing yourself!! that is a tough thing i know that !!! i am working on that now toO!! so we can do it together
well take care my dear..and have fun at the gym...

oh you hit the nail on the head what you said about being lost in a huge city like no one cares..that is what i am dealing with here i feel sometimes i OWN the city and can do anything..and others i am like i could be lost at sea and they wouldn't notice...i think if i was closer to family like driving distance it would be easeier...but that isa big part of me moving..some days i just want to be a kid again..i watch movies with young people like high school and stuff and i am like i want that to be me again..i want to live at home with my parents and be taken care of and not have REAL things to worry about you know??
hmm anyways have a lovely day
love always
sach
xoxoxoxoxo

Much peace and love!!!
EarthAngel
Xoxo

Ditto.


www.inaia.com

hey sunshine!!! jsut wanted to stop in and say hello and tell you how special you are!!! and how much i love ya!! i feel so close to you andknow i can talk to you about my problem and you are there to support me!! and please know that same things is true for you!!!! you are such a special little doll!! and i am one lucky gal to know you!! take care of yourself and have a splendid day!!
love always
sach
xoxoxoxoxo

Much peace and love!!!
EarthAngel
Xoxo

? lbs
wahoo i did it i didn't weigh myself .Wow this is kind of freeing (also a little scary)Also I ate all raw today oh yes i did. I'm back on the wagon thanks to some encouraging words from sach and also just a decision within myself that no one can mess with. I ate:
3 raw flax "pancakes" (1 w/almond butter)
4 coconut dates
1 green smoothie (lettuce, starwberries, oj, banana)
kale with garlic and olive oil yum
1 cocnut meat
1 honey dew watermelon juice (oh my god oyu guys have to try this stuff it tastes just liek cotton candy!)
the rest of soem peoples drinks when i made too much (all raw)
I'm really proud of myself
I went to the gym this morning walked all the way down and it was @&#$%! closed! I was so mad. BUt that's ok .I'll go tomorrow.
Sach and Inaia I'm glad i'm not alone in how i feel like that sometimes. And sach i totaly know what you mean. I'm really glad your moving back home. Hey anyone want to play barbies for old times sake? jk hehe Well maybe our inner children can
Sach I love you so much gal. Thanks for that message. YOu know i'm always here for you and you have done so much for me and i know it will onctinue. YOur support amazes me. YOu know you are gonna make the most rockin mom some day. ANyway your really the best. I can't believe we've made it this far. Remember when we first joined the forum >Well you have done much better than me in consitency but hey i stuck with it and i'm back.

xoxo,
Starfruit

hey there lovebug!! YAY YAY YAY YAY for you!! i am sooo proud of youand happy i knew you could do it..just takes some will power to get back on it after being off..tonight i was having weird cravings i wanted to stop and gett something from the fast food places haha that i haven't eaten at for like 12 years haha..for things i haven't eaten since i played barbies and i would love to play barbies haha thanks!!!
well good for you not weighing yourself i know that is tough tough....

hmm oh it seems like just yesterday when we signed on for the journey i can't believe it is already may!! i am looking for some awesome results this summer hha!!! well i can't wait to see you in august we are going to have so much fun!!!!
take care and enjoy your day love...
talk to you soon
love always
sach
xoxoxoxoxoxo

Much peace and love!!!
EarthAngel
Xoxo

115 lbs (lost 3 lbs since sunday)
So i did weigh myself thismorning but i don't feel like it's going to control me. I porbably wont do it tomorrow you know. Thanks EA! I'm so glad I found my willpower again. Those cravings are so strange! Maybe you are detoxing those foods from 12 years ago? I think we should dress our barbies is leafy greens and fruit peels and they can go on a raw retreat haha I can't wait for LA eeek. I'm so excited. Have a good one everyone
so far:
1 green smoothie (same as yesterday0
1/2 an avo w/seasame seeds and cayanne
some raw cocoa crispies
2 coconut covered dates
off to therapy
cya

xoxo,
Starfruit

Starfruit, You are doing so AMAZING!!! I am so happy for you! Where do you live now? Where are you from?

hey sweetie!! yay good job..and dont' worry every other day is a big accomplishment too!!!
i know la is going to be awesome!!!! then maybe i will visit New york and see you!@! and you can show me boston that is one place i have never been!!i have been to mass..but not boston haha...i would love to though....and new york of course i love!!!!
well take care today hun! have afabulous one!
love ya lots
sach
oxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Much peace and love!!!
EarthAngel
Xoxo

Hey guys. ok rest of the day i had:
more cacao crispies
1 zuchinni made into zuchgetti w/ olive oil and cayanne on 1 plate and mustard on the next (that one was good_
1/2 grapefruit
some greens at work
a little coconut meat
I'm detoxing a bit todya, though good energy. I got a big pimple on my forehead which never happens, and some dry skin. MY poo is green again hehe. That's when i know i'm doing well. OSrry for the graphic details.
Oh i did the eliptical for an hour today! Wahoo 360 cal
xo my dad and i might go to the tree of life. I'm so excited. I'm going to do a phoen consultation with them. I got a pedicure and foot massage today .I felt like i needed a little pampering. It felt so nice.
Thanks Inaia! I live in NYC upperwest side at the moment in a little studio apartment. I love it here. It's the place i always new I'd end up in. I lived in a suburb of Boston for the rest of my life. I went to a performing arts boarding school for 4 years before this but that was another suburb of Boston. So i'm an east coast girl.
Sach your right that is super big for me. I'll settle for that for now. I would so love to have you visit. That would be great. I could take you to all the great raw food places here.
I am so happy and grateful for all the support here
I am so happy and grateful that I;m starting to find myself again
I am so happy and grateful for my best friend in the world and our letter writting over the years
I am so happy and grateful my dad is finding his own raw journey and that he is coming here tomorrow
I am so happy and grateful that I am getting a new comp tomorrow!
I am so happy adnd grateful for acting and truth telling even if i can't do it again yet
I am so happy and grateful for my voice
I am so happy and grateful for dance that lives me even if i'm not doing it all the time
I am so happy and grateful for Love Actualy being on at the gym today
I am so happy and grateful for my grandmother
I am so happy and grateful for me

xoxo,
Starfruit

hey sweetie! aww i'm so glad your dad is coming to visit for a few days. sometimes a girl just needs her dad to make everything ok! i miss my dad soooo much lately.

great job on resisting the scale for a day! that is a huge accomplishment. you broke the cycle once- now just try to keep doing that when you're comfortable with it. recovering from an ED is all about leaving your comfort zone, b/c the ED unfortunately becomes your comfort zone. you are doing great and you have support every step of the way.

Love Actually!!!! omg i love that movie, it never fails to restore my faltering faith in humanity.

i am really rambly tonight so...time to sign off! have a lovely day tomorrow honey, you deserve all the best.

hey sugar!! wow what an amazing list..reminds me of some things i am thankful and grateful for as well.....thank you hun!! that is awesome my mom and i were thinking of going to a place sometime soon too!! maybe we can all meet up there and attend wouldn't that be cool haha?? my mom was talking about it on the phone today!! she was like she should go do a week or two at a raw retreat place...so you never know hun!!!
well you are doing amazing your food sounds so good..and you love mustard like i do haha..although i don't know if it is raw so i use mustard powder sometimes..we need to find out i would much rather buy it lol .
well keep up the awesome work and take care of yourself!!! you are doing wonderful hun lots of love to you and good energy!!
love always
sachelle
xoxoxoxoxoxooxoxox

Much peace and love!!!
EarthAngel
Xoxo

I love your list and I love hearing how you're doing! YEY! Congratulations. I love NYC too! Been wondering where I want to live after I'm done here and, NY, LA,SF & MIA are my choices right now.

Sometimes I miss dancing too. I miss ephedrine & Red Bull- but not TOO much.


www.inaia.com

Hey guys. Well I am typing on my new laptop. It's funny to be lying in bed and using the computer. Anyway today my daddy came. I ate
5 pieces small of dehydrated bread with mustard haha
1/2 pineapple
1 green smoothie same except bluebrry instead of strawberry (my dad is gonna make me his fav tomorrow for breakfast)
then we went to bonobo's for lunch where i tried my first bite of durian. I like my first taste although the smell was killing me but then i ordered a coconut and durian shake and i couldn't do it. I wanted to gag. OH my god that taste adn that aftertaste adn that smell ahh. I'm sure some people like it but i can't do it. I kept having durian burps too i was like stop haunting me!!!!
i did have 1 coconut water
a plate with a seed burger and lettuce and beets and carrot and raw olives and sprouts oh my and raw jalpeno dressing. really yummy
oh and i had some strawberries and pineapple soaked in a coconut mixture yum
then at work i had a tiny bit of kale
1/4 piece of raw cheesecake
1 coconut meat
good day it was so nice to see my dad
tomorrow we are going t bike around the city. I'm so excited. We are going up to eat at raw soul for lunch. yum. and then we are seeing a play. I felt really bloated and fat today. I kept seeing a cow when i looked in the mirror (not the one that says moo0 I did weigh myself this morning and i had stayed the same so that frustrated me after all my good work at the gym so i'm just not gonna weigh myself tomorrow and hoepfully i'll feel better.
meow hey gal thanks for stopping in. Yeah you are so right sometimes a gal does just need her daddy. I gave my dad his first wheet grass shot at owrk today .I'm so proud of him. I know i love love actually i always get goosebumps and wel up a bit. Thanks for support on the scale thign. I swear i'll read your diary soon.
ea:that would be so cool if we all did it! Oh man we shall see
I: come to NYC i feel like you would do so so well here gal. OH man that would be amazing. Hey we could take dance together. THink about it ;-)

xoxo,
Starfruit

Hi Starfruit lady,

Sweet list! I am so glad your dad is visiting, you sound so happy. How cool is that, he is into real food, too! That is so nice. You two have a wonderful time together. Sounds like you have a real good relationship with him.

Keep on keepin' on, you're doing great. I'm always hoping the best for you. I really don't even know you, but for some reason, I have such a soft spot in my heart for you, don't really know why...oh well, it's there....

I love dance, too. I don't dance, but I love it. I should just put music on and dance, it would be good exercise for me. Ballet.....awesome. Physical poetry.

Take good care, enjoy yourself!
Elakti

hey sweets...i am sorry i kept laughing about the durian today..but i coudlnt' help it...i brought me back to my first expereince..i took a bite not too bad but smell was something awful..so i thought oh well lets mix it in a shake..so i mixed it with occonut into a smoothie and was gagggin haha and it followed me everything that smell lingered all over the apt and my mind lol..so i was just brought back to my thoughts
oh i was salsa dancing today at our raw food event..just by myself at the end telling everything they should come to dane with me but NO ONE wanted to haha..oh well!! i have enough fun alone doing it in class
yay for a new laptop i need one before summer so i can continue talking to everyone on here and all that good stuff haha
well keep up the awesome work and let me know how the whole thing of the raw retreat is going so i can see what we can pull off!! how fun would that be....
oh and don't steal inaian i want her in my city..well LA is close
have fun with your daddy!!! i amsooo proud of him..tell him that and tell him congrats and i am wishing him nothing but the best
love ya lots dearie
sach
xoxoxoxoxo

Much peace and love!!!
EarthAngel
Xoxo

I'm SO excited for your new laptop! YEY! And for your Daddy. Funny that I just got a new MacBookPro and my Mom is coming to visit me in 1 1/2 wks. What's going on here?

I saw a durian today @ the market. That thing was HUGE! Bigger than a football. WOW! I heard it smells terrible. I'm not ready to try it! LOL

NYC is SO much fun!!!! It's weird to have no idea where you'll be next. LA sounds so good too- but NYC is closer to my musicians. AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! Dancing & eating raw food together would be a blast, though!

Do you girls have Skype?


www.inaia.com

umm i don't have skype but i have msn and yahoo..i only use it for my raw friends though or else i am never on but if you want to add me if you have either let me know!!!!
aww dancing and raw food dining would be a blast!!!!
well take care hun...haha oh i am responding to you like this is your journal haha..
i think we three are a lot alike and in sync most of the time though..i feel like we talk to both of the others on our journals haha like on starfruits we talk to each other and on yours and mine lol..
anyways i gotta get some sleep
love ya both
sach
xoxoxoox

Much peace and love!!!
EarthAngel
Xoxo

LOL. Thanks, I think I have MSN & Yahoo too that I never use BUT I would if I could you guys.


www.inaia.com

well i have msn and my email is rawgoddess22@hotmail.com and my yahoo is cutiepie29_03@yahoo.com it is from when i was like 11 haha...
anyways you both can add me!!!!
love always
sach
xoxoxoox

Much peace and love!!!
EarthAngel
Xoxo

what a great day
today i had:
1 green smoothie (kale, green apple, banana, and apricot)
1 banana
1 mango
1 coconut spice smoothie
side of marinated kale and collards dad and i split
1 lettuce wrap w/sprouts and sundried tomotoe nut pate
1 bowl of the most amazing soup ever called avacado lovers (avacado, red onoin,cashew cream, and cilantro)
1 plate of zughettti
1/2 bowl of dad's soup (kale, red pepper, lemon, garlic, avacado w/dulse flakes)
Yummy day.
SO i didn't weigh myself wahoo. Had a really good voice lesson. Then dad and i went up to raw soul in harlem and had that amazing meal and felt so ahppy afterwords. Today was his first day 100% raw I am so proud of fim. HE just loved that restaurant. Then we took the most amazing bike ride through riverside park from 59th st to 125th and back. IT was so beautiful. Then dad made his fav raw soup while i made tomoatoe sauce and zughetti and we had our little raw dinner which was so cute. Then we went adn saw Moon FOr THe Misbegotten which is one of my favorite plays and it was on b-way w/kevin spacey and eve best and it was incredible. So i had a wonderful day. I'm really happy and really feeling like myself again. Nothing like having my dad cheering me on.
E: I have a soft spot for you too. That made me so happy when i read it. Yeah my dad and i have a great relationship my parents are soem fo my best friends. really. OH my god i love that physical poetry yes. I want to do ballet right now. Hmmm 10:40 well maybe later.
S: don't apologize about laughing ha ha it was so funny blech. Aw i would have salsaed w/you in a heartbeat. My dad says thanks you! He may not come with me on the retreat. HE says that i should just take the time for myself to heal without knowing anyone there. Maybe he's right. NOt sure.
I: YEah i think we may be leading parallel lives. Maybe all three fo us. Aw. anyways sach and i will just have to fight over you until you decide your going to idaho to f&^% both of us haha I don'tknow what skype is. I'm out of it.

xoxo,
Starfruit

Starfruit--just read your 7 week post.......I'll have one of everything, please. )))))))

All sounded so-oo-ooo good! Good for you!

hey love bug.. SO THAT is where my mango went off the counter i knew it didn't walk away with everything else that disappears

.aww your welcome to your daddy..hmm raw retreat withouth knowing anyone that sounds fun..it is tough do i coundt lol just kidding haha!!
well that is excting sounds like tons of fun no matter what...i really want to go to one though for a little healing and help you know??
aww i know you would of salsaed with me you are so sweet!!!!

oh don't even feel bad about not knowing about skype i just learned about 3 days ago..flowerstar (posts in the animal forum) she is 12..she asked me if i had it an di was like what?? and it wasn't anything but do you have skype?? i was like is that some sort of disorder haha...oh well lol life gets ya sometimes lol

oh she probably will end up in miami where her friends are finding her homes hehe..but it's fun and she knows she is loved!!!

well darlin i am glad you had such an amazing day!! keep up the good work!!
love ya lots
sach
xoxoxoxo

Much peace and love!!!
EarthAngel
Xoxo

Your day sounds absolutely fabulous! I am SO impressed by your relationship with your Dad. I am so happy for you!!!! Your food sounds INCREDIBLE! That SOUP!!!!

You guys are fighting over me???? Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. Yey! I love to travl so there's enough of me to go around for anyone who is health conscious. But there is a FAT chance I will ever end up in Idaho. LOL

Right now I am having an awesome time in Tokyo but I would LOVE to come to the states and take a dance class with you and then go get an amazing avocado soup w/ you & EA and then go home and watch a col movie or something or go see show or a play. I'm psyching myself up! he he


www.inaia.com

hey there love oh we all should have the raw retreat and take dance together!! how much fun to take it with our cool raw friends!! right now i take it with crazies haha...anyways....i hope all is well with you today hun..have fun with your daddy!! i can't wait till mine comes out to get mys tuff and we get to go camping!!
love ya lots
sach
xoxoxoxo

Much peace and love!!!
EarthAngel
Xoxo