hey girl you know i am here for you and totally support you in every way i can....i was worried about you this weekend hadn't heard from ya!!! well i am soo sorry you are having a rough time...i am here no matter what i love ya!!! and i know you can do this...you have all the will power and strength to do this.. i am here for you whenever 3 in the morning whenever!!! i know you can do this..and i am behind you 100% just imagine all you have accomplished already!!! you are doing so wonderful...you have had no vomitting since jan 1 that is amazing....you have kept your weight between 115 and 111 instead of 115-118 and in a healthy way...eating raw and transitioning....progress not perfection...you are farther along right now then you were a few months ago when you completely went off you know?? you have made so many advances in the past few months and so many acoomplishments remember those things and know you are truly successfull....nobody said you had to be perfect NONE of us are...we all make mistakes we all eat things we shouldn't or too much of something we shouldn't.....but the good thing is there is no right or wrong....it is okay that you ate cooked...you kept to vegan that is awesome!! that is an accomplishment in itself... you are amazing...and today started day one again!! congrats on sticking with it...you an amazing person and sooo sooo sooo sweet and caring...don't get down on yourself...you can try again starting today...it is a life changing thing to go raw.....it took years and years of PRACTICE to get to what we were used to...it is going to take a while to break these habits....so please don't be down on yourself you are great.....
i am always here and you know that....take care sweetie and i will talk to you soon!
love you tons
me
xoxoxoxoxoxox

gal-u do not disapoint me with the normal flucuations that happen every day with weight maintaining. that is normal stuff gal.i am thinking this is normal.u are aware and trying to nourish your body but also trying to maintain.that is not easy.i have never been able to maintain. i get skinny and think "oh i can eat like a skinny person"...whatever that means.then i get all fat again. i mean "FAT".so it is normal. i will be where u are very soon and u will hear me lamenting the same issues.i can say being raw-has made my skin so nice and smooth and also I HAVE HARD LONG NAILS FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE..EVER.i am sorry u are feeling down.i think it is wanting to be something(raw) and i think it has to do with a feeling of perfection.wanting to do this good and be dedicated to it.then we when get off track a little bit-we beat ourselfs up over it.i got a book called"YOU ON A DIET".IT SAYS things like...if u are wanting hard or crunchy foods-it means u may be feeling angry.if u want sugar-u may be feeling depressed.if u want soft and sweet foods-u may be feeling anxious.salty foods may mean u are stressed.it goes on like this with all the different moods and what emotions u are trying to fill with eating .i don't even know if it is true.i ate preztels yesterday.we went shopping and went into this kitchen store and they had tons of samples and the dipping sauce. i got a mustard/honey dip and the pretzels.i have to tell u it was good. well-damn me!! but i only ate one serving of the pretzels.use to i would of been getting ice cream and burgers.so i am doing ok.not great but ok.gal-no matter what u are darling and amazing.i think that this is alot of thinking about foods and weight.i would stay fat so men would not look at me.it is /was my safety gaurd.i also just got to me a momma or granny and not have to worry about anything threatening.in a sense i think sachelle is correct to just eat the raw and not do the food drying and all the messing with it all.u are alive and young.wow!! and in new york. that in it self is glorious.also-going out with friends.hey! did u have fun?that is what counts.u are young.i admire u that u know it is not the best. my daughter went to her friends and they drank all nite and did pot.she called in sick.she need s money to pay the rent and to pay her phone.she has two kids.so u are doing ok.going to all your demands and doing and being cool.so don't beat yourself up. hugs and good day.taylor

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HI love!!! just wanted to let you know i was sending thoughts prayers and good vibes your way!!! i hope today is a better day for yoU!!! i love ya lots and feel like you are one of my close friends...you and i have connected and i feel like i have known you for years.....and i am always here for you!!! you know you can call anytime.....i know it is tough i am there and dealing with it to....and we have one step further sometimes when we feel guilty about eating at all we want to rid our bodies of it and you didn't that is great hun....i know it maybe came up cuz it comes up with me too...have a fabulous day!!!! and remember i am thinking of you and love ya!!!
going to text you in a few on my way to work...talk to you soon!
love ya lots
me
xoxoxoxoxoxooxo

dearest starfruit-hi little gal-hope u are doing ok.have a wonderful day.u are the best. hugs taylor

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hi dearie...hope you are having a great day!!! i know it is tough i am here for ya!!! you rock girlie!!
love me
xoxoxoxoxoxox

hey love what's happening!!!! wishing you a good day and sending good vibes your way....how was your day...i had a bad day today too!!! i am here for ya...raw sister support haha...love ya
you rock!
love me
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

starfruit-where are you?? i hope u are doing ok.we need u here and miss u greatly.you are our little shining star.hugs taylor

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good luck satrfruit. I have fallen off the wagon really bad lately.to day is my 2nd day back. hope to hear from you soon. we can go through cooked food "withdraw" together

Hey all. Thanks for checking in. I'm sorry I dropped off the face of the earth but i went through a really traumatic experience a week ago and am just starting to recover. I went back to all the food that i ate when i was young though of course staying vegan, but soy cheese pizza, some vegan desserts. Whatever I don't care. I really don't. I don't know if i'm going to be able to transition back to raw right away. I'm just trying to cope with survival right now and although eating healthy right now sounds nice it's just too much to think about. I'm sorry I haven't been here for you all. I'll try to catch up on your diaries at some point but right now i just need to take care of me.

xoxo,
Starfruit

Hey girl... u take all the time you need...i know how tough it is to go through this...you know i am always here for you!!! i know what you are going through and will be here for you no matter what time or day!!! take care of yourself and heal......raw does bring up emotions so you don't need that right now....i am sending you good vibes and happiness....i love ya and wish you the best.....know you can always text me or call...much love
love earth angel
xoxoxoxoxoxox
i have been texting you everyday to make sure things are okay if you don't want me to that is understandable...but i am trying to support you through this....i never had anyone to talk to through it....but if you want to be alone i understand
xoxoxoxo

sweetie-take care of you. that is it for sure. hey i understand. so what starfruit...u ate cooked vegan. it is ok. some of the raw i feel is not really good for u.the high fat pies and the crust and so much nuts in all the recipes is not good unless eaten in very small amounts. it is like concentrated high fat,calories and such.we live in a nation of food it is everywhere.the vegan stuff u ate may be more healthy than that of some of the raw recipes.at least for maintaining weight.its ok. i have been having cabbage soup and i am not going to beat myself up over it. it is healthy. it is low fat and it has lots of nutrution.maybe not at much as raw soup.i love the idea of raw. but this is why people are still starting over and trying to be raw-yrs later.it is a challenge.good luck to u my dear friend.i am keeping it simple and not going into all the recipes as much unless i have company.i am keeping it very simple.take care sweetie.taylor

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hey babygirl much love to you~!! know i am thinking of ya
love earthangel
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

116.5 lbs
Still not all raw but better. I'm going to try to do 100% tomorrow. I'm starting to care again. I'll let you guys know how i do. I'll try to start reading other people jounals and post but it's going to take a while for me to catch up.

xoxo,
Starfruit

hey sweetpea!!! well good to for you!!! you have been through some tough times and i don't blame you at all for not worrying about raw at the time...it was such a relief to talk with you the other day!!! it made me feel better...i wanted to fly out there and make sure things were good ....well i have missed my raw sister on this website....i got sad two other raw foodies were having so much fun on their posts and cheering eachother on i felt sad for you haha...but hey anyways....glad you are back on the forum....we are happy to have you back...i saw that you were on this morning and iddn't post so i was glad to see you alive haha.....take care of you first then worry about raw....i am dealing with some stuff right now trying to not over exercise...but don't worry i had two people call me out on it today...because they know of my ed history so they totally stepped in and said something on my journal and i skipped thesecond time at the gym tonight...so that was good....i been trying to eat more things...i even went out and bought all sorts of different things used for receipes today hopefully they will be good for me and i won't use to muc....but anyways gal...i missed you....even if i had to text you every few days i got worried sorry if i bothered ya by texting
love you tons and missed ya!!
glad to have my raw sister back
love always
earth angel
xxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

missed u gal!! hope u are back!! hope all is better with you. hugs taylor

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OK raw thing still not working out. I'll get there. sach you didn't bother me at all. Thank you thank you thank you. I'm sorry i havne't been there for you. I'l be better at that soon. I'm glad someone called you on the exercising. Taylor missed you too. Bad day today. Ah well hopefully tomorrow is better.

xoxo,
Starfruit

hey love.....glad to see your bubbly spirit on here today!!!! don't worry take it a day at time...i know it is tough....and don't worry i am making it and finding ways haha...but i will be all the better to have your spirit again!!!! take care of yourself and glad to see you are here....love you tons...hope you got your card in the mail...
love earth angel
xoxoxoxoxoxox

Thank you so much for the card!!! That was so sweet. Made my day. I'll wirte back soon.

xoxo,
Starfruit

hey sweetums...glad you like the card!!! happy to help!!!!
take care hun talk with you soon!
love earth angel
xoxoxoxox

dear starfruit,
i'm just stopping by to let you know i've missed you here and i'm thinking of you. i'm so sorry about whatever bad thing happened to you. of course i don't know what exactly you've been going through, but i know what it's like to feel that way (hope i'm making sense here..). i wish you all the best,
hugs, raspberry

hey girlie just stopping in to say have a wonderful fun exciting healthy happy weekend!!! love ya lots
take care of yourself...and call if you need me
love earth angel
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

115 lbs
All right all I'm ready to be back and try this again. I've been through some very traumatic stuff this past month and that reverted me back to my old ways of eating and then to some of my ed stuff. So time to start afresh and conquer it again. I know though that raw is the only thing now that keeps me stable food wise so that's what I'm going to do. I'm however going to start with a fast )juice then water) and then do the master cleanse just so i can detox my body right away, take some control back, plus i think it will make it easier for me to go raw when I'm done. I'm probably going to start fasting tomorrow or monday. I'll keep you posted. I have so much journal reading to catch up on so forgive me if I don't get to all of them right away. I've really missed you guys and am excited to be back. Here's to recovery.

xoxo,
Starfruit

Hi there hun...glad to see you are back again!!!! Here's to recovery for sure!!! you can do it..i know how well you were doing before and that was awesome.....plus you now know it is the only thing that helps you with food issues so you will be able to stick to it!!! i have missed ya lots...but understood why you were MIA for a while..i was just glad to always get a check up text haha ...to make sure you were still kicking ......well I hope all is well with you today...take care of yourself...and i will talk to you soon!!!
love your raw sister!!!
earth angel
xoxoxoxoxooxxo

Much peace and love!!!
EarthAngel
Xoxo

115 lbs.
Ahh Sachelle I'm trying to catch up on your diary but i'm only on page 9. I'll get there. IT's really helping me get inspired again. I had an awful day yesterday. I was really depressed and didn't leave the house and just slept ate and threw up all day. I threw up like 8 or 10 times it was so bad. I didn't eat well today but i didn't throw up so that's good. Anyways i'm def. starting the juice fast tomorrow. It will be easy cause i just started wokring in a juice bar so i can make whatever i want there. Sachelle thanks for everything. It's really good to be back even if i'm struggling. YOu look great in your pic btw. Yay you. Anyways I'll let you know how the beg.of my fast goes. I've never done this before so wish me luck.

xoxo,
Starfruit

hey doll...welll no problem you know i am here for you!!! i am soo glad to have ya back on here i really missed ya!! yay you and the juice bar why didn't i get to know this ....where at?? that is awesome i would love to work at a juice bar that is so awesome...i want to start the juice fast with you too!!! i am getting a juicer...but it isn't here yet..hopefully should be here tomorrow..so i will go to the juice bar for breakfast and lunch and hopefully have the juicer so i can start the juicing fast too!!! yay....well hun i am glad today was better and not throwing up that is great!! keep up the good work hun and take care of yourself...i slept today too.....it was nice haha not to have to worry much aboutlife...i been really stressed lately!!!
well take care and always know i am here for ya!!
love always sach
oxoxoxoxoxox

Much peace and love!!!
EarthAngel
Xoxo

116 lbs
OH good. I'm so excited we can do this together. I'm not sure how long I want to go for,but I'm going to go from the juice fast into the master cleanse so we'll see. Yay glad we are doing it together. The juice bar is a lbock away from me so that's awesome. I think I'm going to hold off having anything until i go in today at 3:00.

xoxo,
Starfruit

hey there....yeah i am excited to do the juice fast with someone as well....i am going to stop and get a juice in a littel bit before work..my juicer is still not here but i am hoping soon it will be here!!!!! have a great day hun!!!
take care
love earthangel
xoxoxoxoxoxxo

Much peace and love!!!
EarthAngel
Xoxo

OK take 4. Juice fast tomorrow. I just got my master cleanse books cuase i want to do some reading before i jump in. But seriously only juice tomorrow. I'm going to do this.

xoxo,
Starfruit

hey there...hmm i was wondering what happened to you haha..i stopped the juicing today cuz i wasn't feeling it lol....well at least not by myself...so i ate today all raw but ate food...but if you are really going to do it i will join you again! ....i guess i didn't really have the want or need to do it alone lol...good luck and take care
love earthangel
xoxoxoxoxoxo

Much peace and love!!!
EarthAngel
Xoxo

Hey Sweets. I'm sorry. I was giong to do it but then I got in this battle about going on anti depressants or not and it was just too much for me. I'm still trying to catch up on your diary I'm on page 11 I think. As soon as I'm caught up I'll start posting again. I'm starting the master cleanse tomorrow night. I'm hoping that it will get me back on track with food stuff and also emotionaly so I don't have to use medication to get out of this depression. I'm hoping I really am. Argh nasty times. I just want to be normal again. I'll post daily about the cleanse however. I'm sorry I have been flaky lately but I'm just so sad all the time. Trying to cope.

xoxo,
Starfruit